Nightmare vs Reality

I’ve had a recurring nightmare for too many years to count. I call them ‘stress dreams’ and there seems to be a direct correlation between how little stress I actually have and the overwhelming stress in the dreams.

A year or so ago I thought they’d stopped, or at least I’d hoped. I’d even written about this hope at the time, with fingers crossed. But, a few nights ago, it came again.

The details of these stress dreams are always very similar. I’m in a large, dirty, foreign city, alone and lost. I’m roaming the streets, looking for help, having lost my wallet, phone and shoes. I never find help and wake up feeling miserable and scared.

In reality, I haven’t lost my wallet since I was a kid. I’ve only once been barefoot on city streets (Paris), by choice (what was I thinking?!). I’m not all that attached to my phone either. Maybe that’s why sometimes in the dream I never had a phone at all, but find myself in phone booths (remember those?) unable to recall the phone numbers of anyone I know, Hubby included.

Now this next part might seem unbelievable, but it’s 100% true. On Friday I lost my wallet and two nights before that I had had the dream again. I didn’t even realize I’d lost it before a got a call. A woman’s voice from a nearby church left a message on my phone: “We found a wallet with your business card in it. If it’s yours, please call us.”

Not for one second did I think it was my wallet. I never lose my wallet! I went about my day for several hours after that wondering who at that church I’d given my business card to. I thought of several ladies I might call to see if they’d lost their wallets, in which my card could’ve been found, in order to be the Good Samaritan.

I was in the middle of making cheese (Munster, for more advanced cheese makers) when I had a sudden flash. Dumb move dipshit!

Remember putting your wallet on the hood of your car?

Oh yes!

Remember retrieving your wallet from the hood of the car?

Oh no!

I checked my bag, sure enough, no wallet.

Hubby was coming inside at that moment and I repeated my foolishness. He jumped in the car with me and away we went.

We drove to the church on the beautiful quiet country roads just as the sun was beginning to sink low in the sky. I hadn’t realized it before, but this particular church is part of a very large and impressive complex—a retreat—spread out over rolling hills, with a big lake, lots of buildings and impeccably maintained grounds. To add to its picturesque-ness, there was an elderly man feeding the geese as we crossed the bridge to the main campus.

A stranger had found my wallet on the back road that was part of the property, a tiny dirt road, which I take as a shortcut to a friend’s farm. He turned it in to the groundskeeper, who took it to the church’s office manager, who in turn called me, all within a few hours.

The wallet was on the desk waiting for me, fully in tact, even with $220 in cash still there.

On the drive home I pondered my extremely good fortune. Not alone. Not barefoot on city streets. Not without help. Benefitting greatly from the kindness of strangers and on a lovely drive with my hubby on empty country roads at sunset.

And I thought, “What the hell is wrong with my artificial stress-filled dreams that can’t seem to align with my idyllic natural reality?”

Author: KenshoHomestead

Creatively working toward self-sufficiency on the land.

9 thoughts on “Nightmare vs Reality”

  1. Your gaslighting is why I get so mad at your work. But, some of it I like nonetheless. I really don’t insist evil is everywhere and I’ve got no addiction to doom. You see one sliver and hone in on it, b/c that sliver is how you make your bread and butter. I’ve manifested my dream life out here, had I not recognized the evil in the world and become its contrarian I’d never have taken even the first step on this tough road. Thanks for your visit and comment wise man, I appreciate it, and you, more than you realize.


  2. Your addiction to doom is why you get so mad at my work. One day you will realize you manifest this in the world by insisting evil is everywhere. Stop doing that.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for the kind comments dear! Dreams, subconscious inventories, premonitions, out of sequence recollections, “same-same, but different” as the Thai lads say. 🙂


  4. We have much in common Granny, I called it a ‘donation’ when they didn’t want to take it. ;). Nice to know the real world isn’t as miserable as what we see on TV, eh?!


  5. Dreams or deep subconscious inventories? Premonitions or time out of sequence recollections? Interesting and (allow it) entertaining write. Your recovery fortunate. Your mind working six ways to Sunday, fortunate too; suggests unlike most ‘Mericans you have a mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I too have had dreams of being in a strange city & being hopelessly lost. The sad hopeless feeling often stays with me for the rest of that day. As for losing my wallet, I’ve had that happen twice. Once outside of a Chic Fila in a shopping mall of all places. The young gal had picked it up when wiping the tables & was happy to return it. She also refused to accept a reward which I ignored by giving her the contents of cash in my wallet & telling her it was a tip. If someone else had picked it up I might not have got anything back & replacing the drivers license, credit cards, etc. would have been a real nightmare.

    Liked by 1 person

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