The Toxic Feminine: Perception Management

A brief lesson on analyzing toxic female behavior using two real-life personal anecdotes.

Part One:  The Beautiful Budding Gymnast

When I was about ten years old I liked gymnastics, but I wasn’t good at it.  I was briefly amazed by a neighbor girl who was really good at it.  She was a bit older, but one time she let me come over to her house to practice.  Not only was she really good at gymnastics, she was also exceptionally beautiful—quite tall for her age, with shining, straight, long black hair and perfect alabaster skin.  She reminded me of a real-life princess and I felt almost troll-like standing next to her.

Her mom was there, an attractive divorcé  who remarried shortly after that day, the two of them moved and I never saw her again.  That was no big deal though, because I wasn’t friends with the girl, I just admired her beauty and talent.

What has stuck with me my entire life about that day was something her mother said, because I would discover this again and again throughout my life in my dealings with certain toxic people, especially women:  Their stated perception about reality trumps reality itself. 

Nowadays they call it ‘pathological narcissism’ or any other number of psychological terms, and Gaslighting has become the clever term for their favorite tool of perception control.

The girl wanted her mom to ‘judge a competition’ between her and I on our gymnastic skills.  Of course, we all knew who would win that competition.  Apparently though, the mother had decided, unbeknownst to us, to give me a few bonus points in advance. Perhaps due to my younger age, or my more novice standing, or just because she wanted to teach her daughter (or me) a lesson?

I watched the girl’s clearly superior cartwheel with simple, honest envy.  How I’d love to cartwheel that perfectly, I thought!  She would probably go to the Olympics I suspected, with a cartwheel like that.

I was sure if I practiced enough I could be that good, but back then I had trouble keeping my legs stiff in the air and landing in a straight line.  Her mother, however, claimed my cartwheel was definitely better, to the jaw-dropping astonishment of us both.

How she lies!  I was baffled. The girl objected, naturally.  I objected, confused as all hell.  The mother insisted.  And for decades I’ve analyzed this lie, turned it over in my head, compared it to what I’ve heard and observed with others, and to what I see happening in the society at large.

I do believe by now I’ve got a pretty good handle on this particular brand of heavy duty gaslighting.  What makes it so harmful is that it’s so insidious, so easily masked, with layers of plausible deniability—it’s a real life example of a wolf in sheep’s clothing.  The evil step-mother type is easy to discern, so not nearly as confusing, therefore not nearly as dangerous.

At first I thought, like is natural to do, to give the mother the benefit of the doubt.  But no, it’s not really about encouraging humility in the achiever, because we both knew she was lying, and she knew that we knew.  False humility is manipulative and to force her daughter to pretend to be ‘less than’ she actually was would be a mean trick, seems to me.

It was also not about assuaging the real loser’s feelings, though she would surely insist her intentions were both of these efforts toward virtue.  But, if she had really been concerned about my feelings in that situation, she should’ve pointed out my flaws directly and asked her daughter if she’d be so kind as to spend some time to help me with them, because that’s what I really wanted. I already knew plenty of places by that tender age where I could go to get lied to.

So really, it was about assigning herself the loftiest role in the room, that of the High Priestess, aka, Perception Manager.  And in doing so, she takes it on herself to gaslight everyone else in the vicinity.  It’s not virtuous, it’s self-serving.  It’s not about creating harmony, it’s about stifling dissent.  It’s not about fostering relatedness, it’s about establishing hierarchical control. Though she would admit nothing of the sort, I’m sure.

Not only will she readily lie to others, she will then lie to herself about what her lies mean.  These are not ‘little white lies’ to avoid being unnecessarily hurtful.

Conflict avoidance is also not a virtue, it’s a tactic.

These are the relentless Political Correctness promoters.  Anything not coated in marzipan, according to the Toxic Feminine, is considered hate speech and outside the purview of polite discourse, (unless they do it, which is always ‘out of fear’ they say, but actually it’s just avoiding minor discomfort and loss of total control of the given situation).  Bring up voting at the dinner table and you’ll get a heel to the shin.  Try to discuss your cousin’s drug abuse and you’ll get an eye roll.  Mention your pending divorce and she’ll change the subject, most likely to her own pending divorce. 

An excellent mind-f**k movie of this popular leitmotif, from the French, because they do it best: La Moustache

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She’ll even police your language and behavior at the bar after three martinis from a distance, this is the level of professionalism we’re dealing with here, like she learned directly from the Fabian Society experts themselves!

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We see the negative impact of this brand of perception control to the microscopic level everywhere we look today.  Everyone gets to choose any reality based on their personal preferences—boys can be girls, girls can be boys; whites can call themselves blacks ‘on the inside’; beauty at every size, even morbidly obese; sunny weather claimed even when the sky is murky with filth; adults behaving like children and children posing as adults; abuse labeled as quirky fun; poisons labeled as food; violence sold as entertainment; indoctrination called education, and on and on.  Give the devil a finger, as the adage goes.

Where are the ADULTS?

She’ll happily blame every social ill on “The Patriarchy,” right after she cashes her welfare check and swings by WIC for more free baby formula.  And it’s getting worse exponentially now.  

To be an unwed mother with three babies from three fathers is not even considered an undesirable familial or social situation anymore.  I wish I were exaggerating!

This wolf-in-sheep’s clothing toxic deception harms every level of social life, from the relations between the genders, to the family unit, to the political sphere.

If the gaslighting gets pushed any heavier in this country the demand for wool is going to skyrocket!

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Or maybe, all is not yet lost in space.  Some critical thinking is being applied in some small circles.

Here’s a hopeful and educational interview with Justin Deschamp and Adam Riva on Dauntless Dialogue:  Social Engineering of the Male-Female Dynamic, that’s well worth some deep consideration.  What’s been created, expressly, is a culture of acceptable gaslighting—socially-engineered through propaganda for reasons of control—promoting a culture of confusion, distraction, and distorted value systems that force individual, inter-relational, social and political imbalance.  So the oligarchical controllers are then appeased to, eternally, by their hapless subjects to create order out of their physical, intellectual and emotional chaos.

That’s the lesson of the beautiful budding gymnast.

 

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(Coming soon Part 2)

Take the Cat Fight Challenge

I double-dog dare you!  I challenge y’all to prove me wrong.

Go to any adult woman that you know and start a conversation about one thing you know is wrong with the world, and watch closely.

Sell your female friends crap they don’t need at your Pampered Chef Party and that’s considered fun, share actual evidence and data that the weather is being used as a weapon and that’s faux pas.  Most likely the things that actually matter in life don’t matter to her at all.

But you might get lucky.

You could pick anything—the forever wars, censorship, politics, poverty, education, health care, child rearing, vaccines.

You could even pick a ‘Leftist’ favorite of the social justice warriors, like the faux climate change ‘debate’, feminism, racism, animal rights, gun control, abortion, veganism, anything at all.

Bring up the subject and if one of the following does NOT occur, you win the challenge!

  1.  She immediately deflects, minimizes and/or changes the subject to something pleasant and/or harmless.
  2. She gingerly addresses your concerns for less than one minute in an uncritical way before changing the subject to something pleasant and/or harmless.
  3. She discusses the topic until you disagree with something she says, when she then either changes the subject abruptly or gets hostile.  If the latter, time how long it takes her before she insults you or rolls her eyes (passive-aggressive insult).
  4. IF you manage to debate the topic with or without insults for 5 minutes, ask her in what way she might take PERSONAL responsibility in order to solve said issue.

If you find such a woman who is willing to take personal responsibility, that is, not just complain and wave a placard and yell for someone else to ‘fix it’ but to look at her own life and her own self, and actually ‘be the change’ she wants to see, hold that woman up on a pedestal and congratulate yourself for having the good sense to have befriended such a rare treasure.

gynocentrism

 

 

Feminine Psychology (Part 4)

Diana or Diva? Mary or Medusa?  Sinner or Saint?

Toxic femininity was the subject of the last post, so now I’d like to explore the opposite, what is Divine femininity?

It’s not at all easy to define the divine feminine through the eyes of the female, because much of its interpretation has come to us through the voices of men—whether that feminine is revered, as in Tantric writings, or reviled, as in much of the Roman writings and into the later religious traditions.

I offer this opinion simply to add to the growing conversation as a middle-aged woman coming late in life into a deep relationship with the land and nature.  I am still a novice, but an enthusiastic one.  The one thing I can say with certainty is this subject cannot be approached without including procreation, and therefore sexuality.

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Before there was the Word, there was the land, and it was made and watched over by women.If Women Rose Rooted: The Journey to Authenticity and Belonging by Sharon Blackie

I believe the divine feminine can scarcely be found in modern civilization in our time.  At some point in our history the sacred marriage of the masculine-feminine partnership was usurped by the master-slave relationship.

Like many of their Eastern counterparts, Jewish, Christian, and Muslim mystical writings also tend to relegate the physical to an inferior place—so much so that in Christian mysticism the body is often viewed as intrinsically base.  And while the feminine is still sometimes idealized in the abstract (like the Shekinah of Hebrew Kabbalistic mysticism or the Christian Virgin Mary), woman, and particularly woman’s sexuality, is frequently presented as a danger to man.Sacred Pleasure: Sex, Myth, and the Politics of the Body—New Paths to Power and Love by Riane Eisler

Goddesses and female saints such as Brigit and Arianrod were dismissed, others such as Demetra are turned into males, others become hemaphrodites (in our time now called Intersex Individuals, or Transsexuals, and considered to be the pinnacle of human perfection—the reason why children are being taught a dozen new pronouns and ‘gender fluidity’ is being pushed across the global culture.) https://www.georgepetros.com/writings/gen/newherm.htm

“By minimizing the importance of what happens on Earth and counseling acceptance of suffering (and even its embrace) as a ticket to spiritual development and divine rewards after death, the Church not only distracted people’s minds and energies from seeking less oppressive social alternatives; it actively reinforced the hold of dominator institutions, beginning with the institutionalization of male dominance.  So when women equated love and bliss with submission and suffering, and when they saw martyrdom as their highest vocation, it was in part due to their indoctrination to view abject obedience and acceptance of suffering as the greatest womanly accomplishment.” 153 R.Eisler

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Girls raised to believe they are ‘sugar and spice and everything nice’ become blind to their true gifts and crippled by their lack of power. 

Kindness, generosity, caring, cooperation, of course these are pleasant traits often attributed to good mothering, and positive aspects of femininity, but they are only divine when they are authentic.  They can just as easily be employed from a place of self-serving manipulation as they can in genuine concern for another’s well-being.

Gracious, thoughtful, considerate, charming, ok, but for their own sakes, for the sake of beauty and care and tenderness, not as tools to get ahead in the dominance game.

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All our most divine-sounding characteristics have a dark side.  Take humility as an example.  In its negative aspects we get avoidance, passivity, dismissiveness.

The divine feminine is NOT passive, she is receptive, and that one word makes a vast world of difference.

How can you tell the difference?  In a culture where constructive criticism is considered hate-speech, that’s not easy.

In a nut-shell, if it comes with strings attached, it’s not genuine.  A gift is not a gift if it’s forced upon you, or if your approval and appreciation of said gift is a requirement.

One of the most obvious (invisible) strings is ‘image management’.  Your experience is devalued, minimized, rebuffed, or ignored.  She’s above criticism, she deflects or sobs or eye-rolls your thoughts and feelings away.  Her ego and personal comfort are more important than her loved ones’ well-being.

Looking good trumps being good.

Just turn on the television or open social media and you’ll have an avalanche of toxic examples to choose from.

Or, save yourself the torture and close your eyes and imagine what the only strings of the divine feminine might be.

Feminine Psychology (Part 3)

There are two ways your ruler uses to control: Love or Fear

In the traditional view of masculine/feminine roles love was the mom’s job and fear was the dad’s.

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We hear a lot of talk these days about ‘toxic masculinity’ and very little about ‘toxic femininity’.  Why might this be?

“Boys are made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails; Girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice.” popular British nursery rhyme

In the 1960s the British Invasion was strategic cultural warfare “Her” way.  But this ‘soft kill’ strategy goes way back and I seriously doubt it was the British who invented it.

It’s not out-right battle with bloodshed and causalities, resulting in clear enemies and much visible damage that then must be repaired at considerable expense.

Herway warfare is done undercover, using mind weapons like manipulation, plausible deniability, gaslighting, strategic defense.  It prefers enticement rather than open hostility, seduction rather than force.  It is the land of triangulation, conspiracy, witchcraft, word salads, cryptic codes and cunning smiles.

This is how most war and conflict works today, this is why it’s relevant and why I care about it.

Feminine vs. masculine tactics can be defined as simply covert vs. overt.  As the famous JFK quote goes:  “For we are opposed around the world by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy that relies on covert means for expanding its sphere of influence–on infiltration instead of invasion, on subversion instead of elections, on intimidation instead of free choice, on guerrillas by night instead of armies by day. It is a system that has conscripted vast human and material resources into the building of a tightly knit, highly efficient machine that combines military, diplomatic, intelligence, economic, scientific and political operations.”  

He was speaking about Communism, a perfect example of a feminine worldview.

Nursery rhymes, day cares, music, movies, games, indoctrination camps calling themselves institutes of learning.

“If you want to beat your enemy just raise their children.”  Chinese proverb

https://www.theeventchronicle.com/video/hollywood-magick-and-social-engineering-robert-sepehr/

https://steemit.com/informationwar/@richq11/highway-to-hell-the-effect-of-music-on-popular-culture

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Michael Tsarion “The rise of Feminism is, as said, directly caused by this scenario. The devoured daughter must hide her pain, misery and hatred from herself. The truth about her envious, possessive, schizoid mother must be rationalized. So, to compensate for legitimate feelings of repulsion, a daughter entrains herself to see no evil in anything females think, do or create. It’s all good, and whatever evil there is comes from men. Most feminized women hold onto this fiction for dear life, and will not willingly relinquish it. There’s too much to lose by so doing. Living in the ashes as a half-self is better than facing the icy reproaches of a terrible mother.”

Weaponized protection. Mother’s gone, cannot protect juvenile as intended by nature.  State takes over her job.  It takes over the job to the tune of child/student as $$ and cares so very much about your child’s welfare they eventually install metal detectors and armed guards.  Perfect!

https://tabublog.com/2015/12/26/the-manufactured-invention-of-the-beatles-stones-grateful-dead-and-the-birth-of-rock-n-roll-by-the-tavistock-institute-a-jesuit-corporation/

Break down the family unit, starting at home.

Turn the home into a battleground and call it Liberation, Baby!

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Did it work?  If all this social engineering pushing a new feminine value system was meant for the good of the culture, the health of the family, the flourishing of the individual, then, it seems we would know them by their fruits.

I’m thinking that was/is not their intention at all.

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Celebrated comedian Sarah Silverman clues us in on the state of the culture.