This question was emblazoned on a bright yellow t-shirt with a smiley face, gifted from Hubby’s place of employment several years ago.It’s been the butt of jokes ever since.
Folks can’t even talk to their own loved ones about how they’re really feeling, but the wise guys in Human Resources imagine a worker will feel motivated to show and tell thanks to a cheesy slogan on a free t-shirt.That’s a special brand of marketing brilliance right there.
I suppose there’s more than a few veterans who feel this way, too—they need to communicate how they’re feeling as a form of psychic hygiene—yet when they do there’s a half a dozen ‘highly-trained’ shrinks taking notes and filling the next DSM with their dysfunctional honesty and using their confessions to prescribe a list of solutions based entirely on poppycock.
Happy.Sad.Angry.Bored.Afraid.Please to check appropriate box.That’s become, please to choose appropriate emoji.
But, How are you really feeling?These times are being prescribed as the days that try men’s souls—so I am asking out of sincere caring—how are you really feeling?I suspect you don’t even have sufficient words to describe it, since feelings came long before words, which is why man had to invent art. And then reduce it to emojis.
Did you ever consider that love and fear are both feelings of petrification?They are emotions of freezing in time and space.They serve to protect the species through seduction.In love we long for time to stand still, yet it races.In our memory or recollection it takes hours to sift through minutes.As in fear time seems to stand still, an agonizing splitting into nanoseconds.
Where were you when JFK was shot?Who told you about 9/11?What were you doing when the hurricane hit?Why didn’t you evacuate/shelter in place/donate/volunteer/follow orders/surrender your weapon/buy ammo/plant a garden . . .??
How are you really feeling?Does it fit in the box?
Fear, like love, are the static aspects of feelings that are meant to cause actions—those of survival—run for your life, or care for another’s.
Does fear, or love, inspire you to action?Why, or, why not?
Please feel free to reply at length in space below. True empathic response to follow.
The intense armoring of the individual and of the culture, caused from ancestral trauma that is being constantly recycling with each new generation from lack of healing, are pertinent themes in this interview.
Yerasimos, whose parents were Greek immigrants, carved out his unusual work and life path the same way most of us do when attempting to navigate the road less traveled—by following the small, still voice of the soul and finding his inspiration in the journey—with plenty of heartache and tribulations and loneliness along the way.
Like for me, the short novel by Herman Hesse, Siddhartha, was also a catalyzing force.
“And Siddartha’s soul returned, died, decayed, turned into dust, experienced the troubled course of the life cycle. He waited with new thirst like a hunter at a chasm where the life cycle ends, where there is an end to causes, where painless eternity begins. He killed his senses, he killed his memory, he slipped out of his Self in a thousand different forms. He was animal, carcass, stone, wood, water, and each time he reawakened. The sun or the moon shone, he was again Self, swung into the life cycle, felt thirst, conquered thirst, felt new thirst.”
Emboding the archetype of the wounded healer, Yerasimos opened a unique healing practice in the Los Angeles vicinity.
“For me, that was life-changing as it seemed to crystallize so much of what I had learned up until that point, but most of all, I was able to personally experience a much deeper understanding of the role the body plays in any healing process and how the body truly is the hard drive for our experiences in our lives, storing traumatic events, repressed emotions, and lost memories, as well as all the stress and toxicity from our lifestyle choices and interactions with our environment.” http://voyagela.com/interview/meet-yerasimos-stilianessis-healing-yerasimos-santa-monicavenice/
“From a bodywork perspective, there are two main modalities that I use in my practice. The first one is an unconventional technique where I use my feet along with deep, rhythmic pressure and walk on different parts of the body that correlate with the Chinese meridians (electromagnetic channels in the body).”
I guess after being accused of being Luddites before we knew the meaning of the word, and having emphatically denied it through several more accusations, we’ve at last adopted it as true.
Now I wonder why there aren’t more of us.After all, all technology is the equivalent of Prometheus bringing fire.Is that to be no cause for concern?It all carries the power of goodness and of destruction.
Even the written word, and the shoe, two of man’s greatest, earliest tools, became proverbial Pandora’s boxes.
One Man and a Chainsaw in Texas
What do you think of with that title? The popular horror film, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre?
Or, do you think of the magnificence that is the invention of the chainsaw?Fire to warm and create or fire to torture and kill?
Handy Hubby’s still plowing through the remnants of last spring’s ‘tornado’.As fortune would have it, the trail he’d just cleared to make way for the fencing of the second pasture was the exact path the ‘tornado’ chose.Amazing.
I know these constant chaotic weather events are not just Mother Nature, and that man has developed weather tampering techniques, which could be used for good, but are instead being used in public manipulation and covert warfare.
Yet, thanks to another of man’s technologies, what once not too long ago would’ve taken weeks for one man, now takes days—just one man and a chainsaw.It’s truly awesome.
I’m far more inspired by that relatively simple technology of our forefathers than all that’s being boasted about, and experimented with, today.
But we, Luddites or otherwise, don’t get a vote.
Before and After—make that one man, a chainsaw and a tractor.
Because if you’re not on board—hook, line and sinker—with whatever the technocrats care to shoot down the pipeline this week, well, you’re just a Luddite.A bitter clinger to the past.A sore loser who needs to roll over already.An old curmudgeon.
Whatever the wheel of fortune has in store for you, whoever’s spinning that wheel, you’re just along for the ride, buckle-up, and don’t forget to say thank you.
Life is significantly easier when you don’t give a shit.Not only are you spared the physical, intellectual and emotional effort of caring, you are also spared the spiritual effort of sifting through the good and shitty people and things in your life.
When you don’t care, you don’t care if others don’t care either.You don’t build up any resentment to their lack of care.You get to feel comfortably numb in blissful ignorance.You don’t have the added social cost of having to mask your disdain and disapproval.You can chuckle, rather than wince, at their callousness and cruelty and disregard.
The spiritual effort of discernment is so taxing that many religions have successfully spared their followers of it, naming it ‘Judgement’ and leaving the dreadful task to God, or similar distant entities.
Discernment is in fact so precious it’s innate in all sorts of species, not just mankind.
Sunflowers discern which way the sun is glowing and turn themselves to face it.Plants can actually discern and communicate all kinds of things about their environment, even things like where their trellis is, and other survival instincts—this is absolutely true, and now that science ‘proves it’ you are allowed to believe it, even though those in tune with the natural world already sensed it aeons ago.
Birds of a feather do indeed flock together, even domesticated ones all raised together tend to stick with their own kind most of the time.
Human babies are so highly discerning they recognize their own kind from the most tender age, reaching out automatically to other babies, or puppies, or other young or small things, as if they are already quite conscious of their current place in the universe.
What are the emotions which humans make such concerted efforts toward escaping or transcending?Sadness, weakness, loneliness, illness, vulnerability, anxiety, fear, pain, discomfort, failure.
But rarely, apathy.Apathy, as dangerous as it can be, is of another category.
Apathetic populations serve an important purpose in civilization.Not only are they the perfect minions of any corrupt power structure by never questioning their surroundings or roles, but they also serve brilliantly in undermining the efforts of the relatively few who do actually give a shit.
Apathetic slaves are the best sort.The less you care about those around you and your environment, the easier the masters have it.It makes for better order followers, because you’re still smart enough to never bite the hand that feeds you, but passive enough to go along with anything told to you from above. Hand over your children? Ok, what can you do, and besides, you can just have more.
The culture-shapers have been breeding apathetic populations as long as man has been breeding domesticated livestock.Obedience, docility, positivity, faith, industriousness are in the category along with apathy, as with all the other desired traits that make the livestock more manageable, desensitized, acquiescent and profitable.
The “Namaste Billionaires” (a phrase I’ve borrowed) say they give a shit, and they want to fix it all.They know how, because they say so.They’ve transcended, and they’re billionaires, so of course they know how. They’ve reached the pinnacle of materialism and spiritual ascendency in tandem and they’re going to create order from the chaos.
These are the latest brand of culture-shaping snake oil salesmen and if their predecessors had not been breeding in apathy for centuries the populations would still have the discernment to see this as clearly as if it were pulsing in neon from the heavens.
How can you tell, as easily as if you were discerning white from black?Look to nature.Order already existed.It still exists even now, though the perpetual tinkering makes it less and less obvious every year.
These false prophets create the chaos in order to save you from it, so that you then confirm your role as indentured servant to their system.
So, don’t give a shit just a little bit longer. This Thanksgiving, show the proper gratitude to your betters for the relatively comfortable free-range servitude they’ve granted you.Raise your children right—to jump when the master calls— ‘front and center!’ To bow when your master gestures, to serve courageously at his side when required, and cower silently in the corner when ordered.
Drugs and distractions, or enlightenment, take your pick.If you’re truly blessed you might even be able to kiss their feet someday.Dare to dream!
Still, if you don’t make it quite that far on the righteous path, as your just rewards you’ll still get all the baubles and accolades worthy of your slave station and gain the admiration of all your enslaved peers. Congratulations and . . .
Grandpa had a strategy when we were growing up that I think is quite common.When we would hurt ourselves and were crying he’d redirect our attention to something else.For example, if we tripped and fell he’d say, “Is the chair ok?”Or the floor, or the toy, or whatever other object was a party to the accident.
In the short-term this is a really good strategy in that it pretty much always works, short of serious injury.
But, with a bird’s eye view, I can now witness how in my (FOO) family of origin, just as in the culture at large, we’ve traded short-term successes at the cost of long-term thriving.
Now that I’m a woman, as the French say—‘of a certain age’— I understand the hidden costs of this short-term fix.It’s taken many years and many, many hours of research and unraveling to mend this deleterious aspect of my upbringing. Me, like all of life, is a work-in-progress.
I know some will just shake their heads thinking I’m blaming others for all my problems in life.It’s really not about that at all.Blame is irrelevant to me. I seek wisdom. And healing. For myself, for others and for the world.
I’ll even take that one step further.I think if Grandpa were listening to me take him to task over this from somewhere in the great beyond, he’d be proud of me for standing up to him in his past life. Because he knows it’s for the greater good. I truly believe the dead don’t give a flying hoot about their misdeeds once in the afterlife. They are beyond body and therefore beyond ego.I can’t even imagine the possibility that he’s out there somewhere still trying to be right and almighty. I can actually hear him laughing at that idea, and he had a great laugh.
So, here’s to you, Gramps. These have been the long-term effects for me, which I’ve been consistently healing and re-training:Not paying attention to my own pain before it gets severe.Discounting my internal experiences and knowing too often.Minimizing and bypassing physical sensations, especially danger.Burying my intuition.Misdirecting anger.Having more compassion for others, and sometimes even animals and objects, than I do my own well-being.Not asking for help or support enough.Isolating excessively during times of deep pain.
That’s my personal list of the largely unspoken long-term effects (trauma) of gaslighting in childhood.I’m certainly not alone in feeling the repercussions of this brand of parenting.Even with mild levels of those raised in family circumstances where there was consistent gaslighting the offspring often end up repeating these toxic patterns in their own relationships and parenting styles.It’s emotional and intellectual manipulation and it’s so pervasive in our culture that it’s rarely addressed.
I see this changing so much now, not just in myself, but really lighting a fire in the entire culture, with vast amounts of material available online and in print to help folks recognize these techniques, heal from them, and eventually, to become such a rockstar at navigating your own reality that you’ll never get fooled again.
To me this is the most positive sign in these troubled times.To me it means nothing less than an enlightenment of those who are strong enough, and diligent enough, to see through the gaslighters’ fog and to realize we’ve been serving dysfunctional and narcissistic individuals, institutions, and indeed an entire toxic system, of power abuse. And this must stop, in our own lives, and in the world at large.
Here are a few books I’ve found helpful.
The Human Magnet Syndrome by Ross Rosenberg
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker
Self-Therapy by Jay Earley
The best YT channels on the topic along with Ross Rosenberg, in my opinion, so far, because the numbers are growing rapidly:
If psychology and self-help books and videos aren’t right for you, I’ve got another suggestion that will probably sound crazy to a lot of folks.It did to me, before I tried it, several years ago now, on the advice of a therapist: Learn the Tarot cards.
They’ve become like buoys in the ocean to me.
Of everything I’ve tried so far, this has been the single-most helpful for me personally.They have the power to put you in far deeper touch with the archetypes of your own psyche and the consciousness of the world.Not only are they engrossing and insightful, they’re pretty fun, too. At least I think so!
Of course, as with everything, you need a really great teacher.
Toxic femininity was the subject of the last post, so now I’d like to explore the opposite, what is Divine femininity?
It’s not at all easy to define the divine feminine through the eyes of the female, because much of its interpretation has come to us through the voices of men—whether that feminine is revered, as in Tantric writings, or reviled, as in much of the Roman writings and into the later religious traditions.
I offer this opinion simply to add to the growing conversation as a middle-aged woman coming late in life into a deep relationship with the land and nature.I am still a novice, but an enthusiastic one. The one thing I can say with certainty is this subject cannot be approached without including procreation, and therefore sexuality.
“Before there was the Word, there was the land, and it was made and watched over by women.” If Women Rose Rooted: The Journey to Authenticity and Belonging by Sharon Blackie
I believe the divine feminine can scarcely be found in modern civilization in our time.At some point in our history the sacred marriage of the masculine-feminine partnership was usurped by the master-slave relationship.
“Like many of their Eastern counterparts, Jewish, Christian, and Muslim mystical writings also tend to relegate the physical to an inferior place—so much so that in Christian mysticism the body is often viewed as intrinsically base.And while the feminine is still sometimes idealized in the abstract (like the Shekinah of Hebrew Kabbalistic mysticism or the Christian Virgin Mary), woman, and particularly woman’s sexuality, is frequently presented as a danger to man.” Sacred Pleasure: Sex, Myth, and the Politics of the Body—New Paths to Power and Love by Riane Eisler
Goddesses and female saints such as Brigit and Arianrod were dismissed, others such as Demetra are turned into males, others become hemaphrodites (in our time now called Intersex Individuals, or Transsexuals, and considered to be the pinnacle of human perfection—the reason why children are being taught a dozen new pronouns and ‘gender fluidity’ is being pushed across the global culture.) https://www.georgepetros.com/writings/gen/newherm.htm
“By minimizing the importance of what happens on Earth and counseling acceptance of suffering (and even its embrace) as a ticket to spiritual development and divine rewards after death, the Church not only distracted people’s minds and energies from seeking less oppressive social alternatives; it actively reinforced the hold of dominator institutions, beginning with the institutionalization of male dominance.So when women equated love and bliss with submission and suffering, and when they saw martyrdom as their highest vocation, it was in part due to their indoctrination to view abject obedience and acceptance of suffering as the greatest womanly accomplishment.” 153 R.Eisler
Girls raised to believe they are ‘sugar and spice and everything nice’ become blind to their true gifts and crippled by their lack of power.
Kindness, generosity, caring, cooperation, of course these are pleasant traits often attributed to good mothering, and positive aspects of femininity, but they are only divine when they are authentic.They can just as easily be employed from a place of self-serving manipulation as they can in genuine concern for another’s well-being.
Gracious, thoughtful, considerate, charming, ok, but for their own sakes, for the sake of beauty and care and tenderness, not as tools to get ahead in the dominance game.
All our most divine-sounding characteristics have a dark side.Take humility as an example.In its negative aspects we get avoidance, passivity, dismissiveness.
The divine feminine is NOT passive, she is receptive, and that one word makes a vast world of difference.
How can you tell the difference?In a culture where constructive criticism is considered hate-speech, that’s not easy.
In a nut-shell, if it comes with strings attached, it’s not genuine.A gift is not a gift if it’s forced upon you, or if your approval and appreciation of said gift is a requirement.
One of the most obvious (invisible) strings is ‘image management’.Your experience is devalued, minimized, rebuffed, or ignored.She’s above criticism, she deflects or sobs or eye-rolls your thoughts and feelings away.Her ego and personal comfort are more important than her loved ones’ well-being.
Looking good trumps being good.
Just turn on the television or open social media and you’ll have an avalanche of toxic examples to choose from.
Or, save yourself the torture and close your eyes and imagine what the only strings of the divine feminine might be.
Our old paradigms of consciousness are shifting. More and more we have the courageous scientists stepping out of their consensus trance, and one of the biggest is certainly Nassim Haramein. I heard him first many years ago, and while he’s still way over my head, this interview helps to break down his theory to the lay audience.
While I can’t say how or why or if crystals work, or planets are hollow, or if the Fractal Systems Theory is the new Big Bang, I can agree on one fundamental aspect of the nature of the universe and of consciousness, and that is what the spiritualists once called ‘ether’ exists. We are ‘informing’ the universe and it us in return at every nano-second. I know this by studying nature, as did many of Haramein’s predecessors, like Viktor Shauburger and Nikola Tesla and Albert Einstein. You don’t have to be an actual renowned physicist, or a 19th century clairvoyant, you only have to start to recognize and appreciate the patterns of nature all around us. There is an organizing principle, a higher law, and to bring this all back down to earth, this is why censorship is a crime.
We absolutely need more powerful individuals like this Google insider gone whistleblower to clean out these violations of natural law.
The voice and will of the people is what creates our reality, at every layer.