The Silence of Failure

Two parallel stories, one personal from two days ago, one political repeated through time and space.

Individual behaviors mirror political failures, or vice versa.

I went for a haircut at the only somewhat nice hotel in our closest small city. I haven’t had a professional haircut in over five years, it was my birthday treat to myself. My hair was really long and wild. I’d come to like it like that, though I knew it needed some taming. While working, Hubby and I kept professional-looking hairstyles, it was expected. Now that we don’t work for wages anymore, it’s kinda fun to let it all grow out, right before it all falls out in old age.

I told the stylist what I wanted. When I was young they called it the ‘long shag’; these days, according to my Youtube search, it’s called the ‘long wolf cut’. The stylist said she understood what I wanted–long layers. I even specified: “I want the waves and curls to be enhanced.” I was thinking–“Big 80s hair, Baby!” Why not! It’s my birthday celebration style, and that’s what I want!

The sytlist proceeded to chop over 6 inches from my hair, blow it dry to pin straight with the help of 3 stinky products, and then to top it off, tried to convince me that’s what I asked for.

Do you need a special license to notice these are not the same?

When I tried to explain to her that a “medium bob” cut is not the same thing as a “long wolf” cut, she started in on the gaslighting. She was very skilled at it.

Perception management is not the same as taking accountability.

My hair was so damaged, she had no choice. I wasn’t sitting straight and so she had to keep cutting. It was too puffy before, it was too frizzy before, it looks so much better now. “You look so pretty!” She kept repeating this, as I kept repeating, “Yes, it looks good, you are a talented stylist, but it’s not what I asked for!”

“The weakness of every utopia is the same. It demands that men believe what they can see with their own eyes to be false. The slogans change — “justice,” “progress,” “sustainability” — but the pattern does not. Sooner or later, the ration card, the empty shop, or the failed harvest breaks through the illusion. The lie may govern for a season, but reality always delivers the final verdict.”

Perhaps she only knows how to cut one style? Perhaps, and this is probably true, the short bob looks much better on me, objectively speaking, from a professional standard. Perhaps it is healthier looking and shinier and smoother now, all true.

“But you are still missing the point: It’s not what I asked for, and it’s not what I paid you to do!”

She refused to get my point. Flat out refused. I was not trying to get a refund or even a discount. I’d already tipped her, the transaction was complete. I just wanted her to recognize what she’d done.

We circled around her excuses, and I left, saying I’d return in 6 weeks, which obviously I never will.

“But populations are not passive. They respond not with submission, but with defense — of security, autonomy, and cultural identity. Citizens resist when they sense erosion of their freedoms, dilution of their traditions, or manipulation of their choices. The result is a Nash equilibrium: a tense standoff where each actor maximizes its own interest, constrained by the anticipated reaction of the other.”

Such is modern political life as well. Was she modeling the behavior of the politicians she sees on TV? Does she think, because she’s the professional, her opinion on what my hair should look like trumps my own, even though I’m not a child, but am in fact a middle aged woman who knows what she wants, has requested it clearly, and is paying her quite handsomely?

“Each generation births new architects of destiny — technocrats, visionaries, committees — convinced that this time, the blueprint will hold. That this time, the people will follow. That this time, the outcome will be different.

But history is not kind to central planners. Grand designs imposed from above, no matter how noble their language, inevitably collide with the stubborn complexity of human life. People are not data points. Cultures are not spreadsheets. Societies do not bend neatly to metrics and milestones.

Agenda 2030–2050, like earlier initiatives, assumes global consensus is possible, centralized governance will surpass local challenges, and large-scale ecological and social changes can occur without resistance. These are not lessons learned — they are lessons ignored.”

Lessons ignored, like my stylist. Her job is to do what I pay her to do, not to re-interpret my desires. Even when I expressed clearly, in a non-threatening manner, after paying her, that she did not give me the haircut I paid for, she refused to see her culpability. She blamed my hair and my poor posture.

Her insistance that I recognize and declare how pretty it looks is akin to the Soviet withdrawal from Eastern Europe as they were insisting how they deserve to be compensated for all the expertise they brought with their occupying forces and for the infrastructure they built. But of course, not to be held liable for all that they destroyed, lives nor infrastructure.

“Historical Lessons
Attempts to impose totalizing visions from above have repeatedly failed. Examples include:
• The fall of Robespierre (Boudoiseau, 2003) during the French Revolution (Britannica, 2003c).
• The collapse of Ceaușescu’s regime in Romania (Britannica, 2003b).
• The Nazi pursuit of Lebensraum (Britannica, 2003l), which ended in destruction.
• Mao’s Great Leap Forward (Britannica, 2003e) and the Cultural Revolution (Lieberthal, 2003), which caused massive human suffering. Each case shows that utopias enforced by elites end in failure, often violently.”

“Socially, the plan underestimates resistance. People do not change because a summit declares it. Habits are resilient. Traditions run deep. When transformation is mandated rather than chosen, it breeds resentment, not renewal.”

The choices and desires of those paying for services must necessarily be a higher priority than that of those performing the services. That includes politicians, and hairstylists.

“4. Restructuring of Daily Life
From how we travel to what we eat, the Agenda seeks to reshape daily habits in the name of sustainability. But these are not abstract metrics — they are intimate choices. Mobility restrictions, dietary mandates, and housing redesigns touch the core of personal freedom. The assumption that populations will comply quietly with lifestyle engineering is not just naive — it is politically combustible.”

“State incentives — subsidies, surveillance, social scoring — aim to steer behavior. But when these incentives clash with core values like freedom, identity, and sovereignty, they lose traction. Compliance becomes brittle. Trust erodes.”

I can’t help but wonder if her other clients have always bowed to her bullying style of perception management? Does she insist all her clients praise her work, whether or not they really liked the results?

Just grin and bear it, everyone?

“The Nash equilibrium here is not stable. It is volatile, held together by mutual constraint rather than mutual agreement. Elites cannot push too far without triggering rebellion. Populations cannot fully disengage without risking exclusion or punishment.
Populations remain bound to the system because withdrawal carries a price — exclusion, punishment, loss of rights. The equilibrium holds only so long as resistance is isolated. But once enough people disengage together, the balance shifts: punishment loses its sting, and the system itself begins to collapse.”

I suppose only time will tell the truth. Eventually.
If I ever run into that hairstylist next time I’m at the hotel I’m inclined to say: “I’m fine with it, it might even grow back before it all falls out. But just for the record, not everyone wants to look like your vision of the sleek middle-aged professional. Some of us have outgrown that look.”

“Agenda 2030–2050 treats the human species as a single actor, capable of coordinated transformation. But humanity is not a monolith. It is a constellation of cultures, histories, and identities. The anthropogenic hypothesis, when stripped of nuance, becomes a justification for centralized control — see here — a mandate for elites to redesign society in the name of planetary health — see here.
This is where the danger lies. When ecological urgency overrides democratic process, when sustainability becomes a pretext for surveillance, when global goals erase local voices — the result is not cooperation, but coercion.”

Classic Gaslighting

A lot of folks still aren’t grasping this manipulative strategy, so I want to make a glaring point of it this post.

It’s easier for others to recognize classic rudeness, and shrug it off. It’s considered good manners to be tolerant of others’ petty foibles or potential misunderstandings or cultural differences and so on.

But folks aren’t putting a stop to plain old gaslighting, even when it’s obvious. They aren’t calling it out, and naming for it what it is—abusive, highly toxic, anti-social, not only for those who perpetrate, and their victims—but also from those merely viewing or reading.

Abuse radiates much further than those immediately involved in the moment.

This little rant, or welcome observation, depending on your position, was inspired by a small YT channel, another East Texas gardener, which I was curious to view from his title today—Garden Failures: Looks like another bad year.

The kind of title of a seemingly honest person just sharing his experience, not a hustler looking to sell me shit or snare me into another Cult-ur, is one of the nice rare finds still sometimes popping in my social feeds.

I watched only a few minutes before taking a gander at the first comment, and was relieved to find a someone seemingly aware of the enormous amount of weather manipulation going on, and clicked because I saw there was a reply.

But, much to my annoyance and disappointment, it was the typical reply of a Master Gaslighter.

Screenshot

To be shamed as you seek validation, or understanding, is gaslighting. This ‘rude behavior’ is far more than rude and it is tolerated in our culture far more than bullying. Why?

This behavior is graver than victim-blaming and bullying, it is an aggressive attempt to diminish, deflect, avoid, minimize, and control the perceptions, research, feelings and lived reality of the host.

The host, as in the one who has had the audacity and courage to seek understanding in the first place, in a hostile environment and against the norms of the Cult-ure.

I’d just been listening to Jon Levi discussing it, so it was very fresh in my mind. I’ve experienced it all my life, as ALL have in our Cult-ure.

It’s just that some go along with it, instead of recoil from it.

I have gaslit others before, sometimes knowingly, sometimes quite unconsciously, only realizing it years later. My mindset was at those times to ‘fight fire with fire’ and maybe that’s a good strategy, at times, with those who have breached the boundaries into your personal life and betrayed you.

But the large majority of the time those gaslighting others on social media is ALL about narrative control and social engineering. Sometimes I wonder if these are actual individuals, but I don’t bother to check, because I’ve experienced it enough in real life to know if these are just AI bots replying to one another, well, they have a pretty good idea of the human condition.

Is it because the political world has so infiltrated every aspect of our existence that folks have come to accept a steady supply of gaslighting in their lives?

I’ve stopped fighting fire with fire myself, too much gas out there, I’m too old for that now.

But, I wonder, besides avoidin the gaslighters, which seems quite impossible these days, what other action might one take?

Thoughts welcome!

Thanks for stopping by, and maybe even a reply! 😊

Sunday Hodgepodge 

Sharing a bold buffet of links and quotes, just because. In case you might be bored and/or in need of new material.

It’s better to be exploited than be useless.”
Dare to differ? And who are you to disagree??

“In any event, I definitely feel like some kind of indigenous, gender-indeterminate, non-binary, African-American woman with an incurable-but-treatable emotional disability trapped in the body of a farty old white man.
Fortunately, there’s an ever-expanding range of pharmaceutical and surgical solutions for this. I’ll be looking into some of those shortly. For example, although I’m well past child-bearing age, given the fact that I’m now a woman, I could get a womb transplant and become a “birthing person.” I could birth my very own indigenous, pan-gendered, Jewish-African-American baby and chest-feed it unsweetened soy milk on TikTok! Or I could have my genitalia removed and get a full-body skin transplant! And, of course, there’s no shortage of pharmaceutical products to treat my emotional disability, or my chemical imbalance, or idiopathic dysphoria, or whatever I eventually decide it is.”

“The hookah lounge was barren. The hostess was shocked to see me and the hookah-master was aloof as I selected the blend of tobacco that I would smoke from a hollowed-out grapefruit. I felt it was my duty to order a Corona with lime, so that’s exactly what I did.
And then I got out my laptop and began to type:

MOSCOW – Despite the stubborn March cold, heroic young ladies in the Russian capital have already shortened (one might say improved) their skirts by at least 15 centimeters. Surely this should give us all confidence to carry on, even as the pillars of western civilization melt away like the last winter frost. What on earth happened, anyway? […]
Fear and mindless acquiescence has gripped the western world, and there’s simply no going back. Cultural, political, spiritual and economic suicide are all around the corner. Maybe even a fun little war. […]
Predicting what comes next is easy – just try to imagine the worst possible scenario. Now multiply that by a factor of ten. Your outlook is still too rosy, but optimism is only human. Signed: Edward Slavsquat, an American in self-exile in Russia who sometimes writes things on the internet.”

The Toxic Feminine: Perception Management

A brief lesson on analyzing toxic female behavior using two real-life personal anecdotes.

Part One:  The Beautiful Budding Gymnast

When I was about ten years old I liked gymnastics, but I wasn’t good at it.  I was briefly amazed by a neighbor girl who was really good at it.  She was a bit older, but one time she let me come over to her house to practice.  Not only was she really good at gymnastics, she was also exceptionally beautiful—quite tall for her age, with shining, straight, long black hair and perfect alabaster skin.  She reminded me of a real-life princess and I felt almost troll-like standing next to her.

Her mom was there, an attractive divorcé  who remarried shortly after that day, the two of them moved and I never saw her again.  That was no big deal though, because I wasn’t friends with the girl, I just admired her beauty and talent.

What has stuck with me my entire life about that day was something her mother said, because I would discover this again and again throughout my life in my dealings with certain toxic people, especially women:  Their stated perception about reality trumps reality itself. 

Nowadays they call it ‘pathological narcissism’ or any other number of psychological terms, and Gaslighting has become the clever term for their favorite tool of perception control.

The girl wanted her mom to ‘judge a competition’ between her and I on our gymnastic skills.  Of course, we all knew who would win that competition.  Apparently though, the mother had decided, unbeknownst to us, to give me a few bonus points in advance. Perhaps due to my younger age, or my more novice standing, or just because she wanted to teach her daughter (or me) a lesson?

I watched the girl’s clearly superior cartwheel with simple, honest envy.  How I’d love to cartwheel that perfectly, I thought!  She would probably go to the Olympics I suspected, with a cartwheel like that.

I was sure if I practiced enough I could be that good, but back then I had trouble keeping my legs stiff in the air and landing in a straight line.  Her mother, however, claimed my cartwheel was definitely better, to the jaw-dropping astonishment of us both.

How she lies!  I was baffled. The girl objected, naturally.  I objected, confused as all hell.  The mother insisted.  And for decades I’ve analyzed this lie, turned it over in my head, compared it to what I’ve heard and observed with others, and to what I see happening in the society at large.

I do believe by now I’ve got a pretty good handle on this particular brand of heavy duty gaslighting.  What makes it so harmful is that it’s so insidious, so easily masked, with layers of plausible deniability—it’s a real life example of a wolf in sheep’s clothing.  The evil step-mother type is easy to discern, so not nearly as confusing, therefore not nearly as dangerous.

At first I thought, like is natural to do, to give the mother the benefit of the doubt.  But no, it’s not really about encouraging humility in the achiever, because we both knew she was lying, and she knew that we knew.  False humility is manipulative and to force her daughter to pretend to be ‘less than’ she actually was would be a mean trick, seems to me.

It was also not about assuaging the real loser’s feelings, though she would surely insist her intentions were both of these efforts toward virtue.  But, if she had really been concerned about my feelings in that situation, she should’ve pointed out my flaws directly and asked her daughter if she’d be so kind as to spend some time to help me with them, because that’s what I really wanted. I already knew plenty of places by that tender age where I could go to get lied to.

So really, it was about assigning herself the loftiest role in the room, that of the High Priestess, aka, Perception Manager.  And in doing so, she takes it on herself to gaslight everyone else in the vicinity.  It’s not virtuous, it’s self-serving.  It’s not about creating harmony, it’s about stifling dissent.  It’s not about fostering relatedness, it’s about establishing hierarchical control. Though she would admit nothing of the sort, I’m sure.

Not only will she readily lie to others, she will then lie to herself about what her lies mean.  These are not ‘little white lies’ to avoid being unnecessarily hurtful.

Conflict avoidance is also not a virtue, it’s a tactic.

These are the relentless Political Correctness promoters.  Anything not coated in marzipan, according to the Toxic Feminine, is considered hate speech and outside the purview of polite discourse, (unless they do it, which is always ‘out of fear’ they say, but actually it’s just avoiding minor discomfort and loss of total control of the given situation).  Bring up voting at the dinner table and you’ll get a heel to the shin.  Try to discuss your cousin’s drug abuse and you’ll get an eye roll.  Mention your pending divorce and she’ll change the subject, most likely to her own pending divorce. 

An excellent mind-f**k movie of this popular leitmotif, from the French, because they do it best: La Moustache

CD7A01A0-1DA8-47DF-8340-39A096BD2F5D

She’ll even police your language and behavior at the bar after three martinis from a distance, this is the level of professionalism we’re dealing with here, like she learned directly from the Fabian Society experts themselves!

005EEB71-6624-4AEC-ABC2-5F1FA03C3527

We see the negative impact of this brand of perception control to the microscopic level everywhere we look today.  Everyone gets to choose any reality based on their personal preferences—boys can be girls, girls can be boys; whites can call themselves blacks ‘on the inside’; beauty at every size, even morbidly obese; sunny weather claimed even when the sky is murky with filth; adults behaving like children and children posing as adults; abuse labeled as quirky fun; poisons labeled as food; violence sold as entertainment; indoctrination called education, and on and on.  Give the devil a finger, as the adage goes.

Where are the ADULTS?

She’ll happily blame every social ill on “The Patriarchy,” right after she cashes her welfare check and swings by WIC for more free baby formula.  And it’s getting worse exponentially now.  

To be an unwed mother with three babies from three fathers is not even considered an undesirable familial or social situation anymore.  I wish I were exaggerating!

This wolf-in-sheep’s clothing toxic deception harms every level of social life, from the relations between the genders, to the family unit, to the political sphere.

If the gaslighting gets pushed any heavier in this country the demand for wool is going to skyrocket!

2B206BD8-CAB1-427A-A73A-835271D06BB8

Or maybe, all is not yet lost in space.  Some critical thinking is being applied in some small circles.

Here’s a hopeful and educational interview with Justin Deschamp and Adam Riva on Dauntless Dialogue:  Social Engineering of the Male-Female Dynamic, that’s well worth some deep consideration.  What’s been created, expressly, is a culture of acceptable gaslighting—socially-engineered through propaganda for reasons of control—promoting a culture of confusion, distraction, and distorted value systems that force individual, inter-relational, social and political imbalance.  So the oligarchical controllers are then appeased to, eternally, by their hapless subjects to create order out of their physical, intellectual and emotional chaos.

That’s the lesson of the beautiful budding gymnast.

 

58555C6E-0598-41C2-9571-A1A2F5BC65E0

 

(Coming soon Part 2)