Reclaiming Time (part 1)

I turn 49 next week. Nearly half a century here and I have recorded a good bit of my journey. My intention is to stick around a good bit more, most days I feel I’ve surely got another 50 to go.

Maybe no one, or more precisely, a precious few, care to read my records or ramblings. This blog is maybe nothing more than the diaries I’ve written from ages 12-45, only to eventually discard. That is on paper, easy to eliminate, by fire, or compost, or any other number of ways. My online ramblings are permanent, or at least their permanence or lack there of, is out of my control, completely.

It is sometimes like a daily offense, just that fact alone, yet I know I could walk away from it at any moment. It is seeped in a weakness I share with many others.  Monitor yourself vs stop monitoring yourself. Share yourself vs retreat inward. Public vs private space.

I feel I was pushed out of academia largely on issues concerning privacy—my own, and my students. Yet on the other hand, my life is quite the open book, much more than Handy Hubby appreciates, I know. In any case, it’s hard to complain when I’m glad it happened.

On ‘ratemyprofessors.com’ I’d had scathing performance reviews so much so I had to stop looking there after only two visits. That was many years ago and I’ve avoided my ‘public profile’ ever since, but I never lost my teaching jobs until I said, “No, I won’t do that.”

I will not violate my students’ privacy in this way.  I will not become their task-master.  Cheerleader is one thing, drill sergeant is quite another.  I will not step on this slippery slope of the complete surveillance grid, no matter how you try to sell it or push it.  I will not simply follow orders.  I will not accept whatever comes down the pipeline without question.

Indoctrination is not education. Social conditioning should never be the aim of teaching.  That was why I went toward academia in the first place, because I was apparently duped into believing that didn’t happen here. This was not McDonalds. This was not the Army.

Online now I see the world erupting. Academics and scientists dismissed readily as complete frauds.  Hollywood is satanic, the United States is a corporation under maritime law, elite reptilians rule over us all, the moon is a mirage, and the Earth may very well be flat.

And I’m one of the precious few who say, without a hint of mocking, ‘BRING IT ON!”

The weather is being manipulated, I know that for sure. I saw through the staged political-media theater since the Iran-Contra hearings. I lived in Mena, Arkansas and spoke with folks, and that’s all I’m saying here about that. I heard directly, first person, enough to make me understand reality as I had not before.

The weather has been weaponized. Our government was usurped long ago. Now connect those two dots.

There is still a denial in the general public to face the dire facts though they are surrounding us for anyone with the courage to look and discover.

I do not claim to be an authority, I am not, will not and never want to be. Indoctrination was never my intention and never will be.  That my intentions might be misunderstood provokes me to spend a bit of time and words unraveling . . .

I am a steward of this land, that’s what called me here. And for the next few posts I’d like to share what that means to me, for those precious few.

redneckholiday1

Naked Sunday and redneck holiday fun!  🙂 🙂

selfie
pensive and painted in pokeberry (summer 2017)

 

Motivational interview of the week, considering it’s a miserable 95 degrees again, after a few unseasonably gorgeous days feeling of fall:

http://www.geoengineeringwatch.org/geoengineering-creating-freeze-fry-extremes/

Life Skills Stolen: A Lesson in Hurricanes

About an hour’s drive south over 50 inches of rain has been recorded.  Here, we had two inches, barely enough to moisten the parched topsoil, not enough to create even a small puddle for the ducks to romp through.  The creek remains low, the pond empty.

Of course Houston is no stranger to floods, or Galveston, or anywhere or anyone who has lived along the Gulf South for any short length of time.  While we lived there we were so fortunate as to experience two so-called “100 year hurricanes” in just three years — during Hurricane Katrina we were living in New Orleans, during Hurricane Ike we were living in Galveston.

I refused to live in the Gulf zone, anywhere, after that.  The folks that remain must really love it there, or be more resilient than I am, or have lives and jobs and loved ones they can’t bare to do without.  I respect their preferences and choices, but I chose that we should get the hell out.

Sometimes a woman has to put her foot down.  Or at least, compromise, with pleas and tears.  No my dear, we cannot move back to Spain, Hubby concluded, but we can move north of Hurricane Zone and south of Tornado Alley.

OK, it’s a deal!  I wonder, maybe more women should be making that sort of deal for the good of their sanity and pocketbooks?  I don’t want to give unsolicited advice, but if you choose to remain in the Gulf, it’s only logical and pragmatic and wise in every way that you are emotionally, financially, spiritually capable of living in dangerous regions.

I had long had a respect for self-reliance, having lived in Eastern Europe, where to be Šikovnyý (handy, skillful)  was taken to an art form.  They didn’t take their Skoda to the mechanic, if they couldn’t fix it, a neighbor could.  They cooked from scratch, they mended clothes, they had gardens and grew vegetables in them usually, not grass.  There was scarcely any packaging, the waste–I remember that as most impressionable of all–there was hardly any waste.

Of course that changed fast as soon as the Soviets left and the new Big Brother took over.  This was progress.  Goods filling the shelves, boxes and cans filling the garbage.  It was as fascinating to watch as it was hard to watch.

It’s amazing how fast life skills can be lost.  Or maybe I should say stolen, because that’s what I really think.  The skills that kept cultures thriving and self-reliant and community-driven are being stolen from right under our noses, and our parents’ and grand-parents’ and now even great grand-parents’ noses. For the U.S. at least, this goes way back.

Commodify everything, even the very air we breath and water we need to survive. You are not a good capitalist unless you are willing to drown cities at will in order to profit nicely and have the added benefit of restructuring at will.

See, what ends up happening in these recurrent disasters is those folks who are not self and/or community reliant, are not independent and are most often not the least bit Šikovnyý get in dire circumstances every few years and the government and their communities and extended family and distant friends and loads of complete strangers feel absolutely compelled to help them out.  Usually through agencies and funds that are syphoning and squandering these do-gooders’ money.  There is not only here what Dr. Phil would surely call “enabling” unhealthy lifestyles, but also in some cases, even a dose of pathological altruism.

I saw after Hurricane Katrina that actually what was happening in New Orleans was a land-grab.  I suspect the same and similar is happening with every weather event, and, to go even further, these events, weather and otherwise, are being manufactured.

If you find this preposterous, incredulous, impossible, you need only spend a few hours at these sites to uncover exactly how this is done and has been done for many decades.

Jim Lee’s Weather Modification History

Dane Wigington’s Geoengineering Watch

I know it sounds odd, but those two hurricanes were perfect impetuses for positive change in our lives.  Hubby never wanted to live in New Orleans.  I never wanted to live in Galveston.  We both fancied the idea of having chickens.

And chickens, being the gateway livestock, led to ducks and turkeys, pigs and sheep, goats and . . .

I no longer send money or volunteer, as I had long done, to anyone affected by a disaster through any organization, especially the government.  The weather modification programs, and therefore the weather chaos, is a problem they are creating, which they want the public to bare the brunt of on the front end through taxes and the back through disaster relief.  It’s a con.

Yes, folks suffer.  I get that and I am feeling for them and sending them prayers.  Mostly my prayers are saying, “If you can’t handle living in an area that is repeatedly a disaster zone, do like me, and put your foot down, and get the hell out of the Gulf for good.”

It’s just not worth it. It’s not going to get better.

 

30 Days Clean

I got my 30 day chip and then relapsed.  I was nervous about telling Handy Hubby.  I couldn’t decide if it was better to admit it immediately, or to wait until he was home from work.  In person, that’s better, right?

Or, was I just stalling.

August, my annual month of failures.  I was doing so good; I was so confident. Then BAM, it’s always the same, from white to black in an instant.  What is this mysterious pull we call addiction?  It’s more powerful than the will of the most powerful around us.  In my circle of fellow addicts not even a one commented they’d noticed I’d been away, so absorbed are these friends in addictions of their own.

I was on the wagon, as they say.  Or is it off the wagon?  I can never remember.  It felt good, really good.  I didn’t want it anymore, I could see through its tempting illusions, the anxiety and regret and guilt had vanished.  I was above it, looking down on my previous weaknesses as a queen might a pauper.  Over-confidence, perhaps.  Maybe I should’ve gone to a meeting.

Is there a Fakebooks Anonymous?  In fact, a whole Escape Social Media extended program for abusers (preferably in Hawaii)?

I see acute and chronic symptoms in folks all around me, yet few of us even try to escape it even knowing it’s being monitored and manipulated by the CIA, the NSA and who knows who in the world else.  The evidence and confessions cannot be ignored, the cognitive dissonance cannot continue to control us all forever.

surveillance

I wanted to find someone, that’s what did it, my relapse.  How sad is that?  I had no other way to find this person except through FB.  This is unhealthy dependence, a solution that creates another problem, quite a few more in fact.

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But I found our sweet pups there!

I have 300+ “friends” there!

How will I know what’s happening with the half dozen actually friends who post there?  Don’t I learn what’s going on in the world there?

Every new person I meet wants to connect on FB; it’s one of the first questions now between strangers who want to stay in touch.  Are you on FB?

Can I say ‘no’?  It seems almost . . . impolite.  Not to mention, a bit suspicious.  Who’s not on FB these days?  Might he be a criminal? Who is she hiding from?

Whether on the wagon or off it, round and round I go.

Maybe I need some FB methadone.  Like, to go to back to my favorite old comfort zones:  Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Charlie’s Angels.

Or, maybe Dr. Phil can help me.

serveimage

 

 

 

 

 

No More Fakebook

torinpups2“Fakebook,” Handy Hubby calls it.  Of course he’s right, I’ve long known he’s right.  I left Fakebook years ago, then went back, against my better judgment.  It has become to me one more insufferable Catch-22 of the modern age.

I’ve met a few good folks there and it was the source in finding our new livestock guard dog pups, who are so precious it’s a real challenge not to spoil them!

It is a good tool for keeping in touch, no doubt.  I’ve also appreciated how it’s like the modern equivalent of scrapbooking in some fundamental ways. They keep better track of our photos than I do.  They record it all. And therein lies the Catch 22.

Fakebook has tipped in scales to more negative than positive, not just for me, I see folks leaving it and considering leaving it and I can’t blame them, in fact, I’ve again just rejoined the leavers, and this time, I’m never going back.

Oh my, I just felt a twang of panic in my gut.  Never?  Did I really mean that?  That’s so very . . . permanent.

I know it’s wrong!  I know they are spying, manipulating, engineering, censoring, and if that weren’t bad enough, the ads are over the top.  I just can’t stand it.  In fact, I find I’m turning to books, real books printed on real paper, just to be able to find a recipe without eight ads and pop-ups attached.

And I know very well it’s not just about the advertising, that’s just the surface level annoyance and distraction.  It is about Big Data, which I’ve written about several times already, but for those still uninformed, some background material.

https://www.corbettreport.com/episode-319-psychographics-101/

And Truthstream Media:

 

If I am to align my life with my principles, as I’ve sworn to do, I cannot support this level of technocracy.  Next will be the Smart phones, out of our lives!  We do just fine without satellite TV already.   We will vehemently reject all 5G roll-out “Smart” crap that we possibly can.

We will get better at it, these things take considerable time and effort. We are gradually becoming more refined in making due with the old ways, and isn’t it ironic.  I jumped on-board with educational technology as a grad student, made it my thing, taught online courses since the first years that was possible.

And now I look and shiver as at a golem.  Oh my stars, what have we created?

I must take a deep bow to those who saw it decades before I did, the ones I once considered practically prehistoric.  The ‘old folk’ who were so afraid of technology, so concerned about privacy. The paranoid ones who suspected, no, even had valid proof, that the government could not be trusted with this information power house.

We are in the process collectively of accepting enslavement to the grid. If you still believe the powers-that-be are benevolent, that once was me.  I can’t say all that it was that blinded me then, I was seeing it and reading it, but it wasn’t yet REAL.

I’m reminded of famous words that made a decent impression on me so long ago I can’t recall, by Ralph Waldo Emerson. “Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. Society is a joint-stock company, in which the members agree, for the better securing of his bread to each shareholder, to surrender the liberty and culture of the eater. The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion. It loves not realities and creators, but names and customs.”

We, Kensho, have been learning about self-reliance.  It’s more work and more responsibility than I’d known before, certainly much more physical labor.  Many sacrifices have been made by us both.  We stopped traveling.  Our social and political priorities have shifted.  Our values and worldview and tolerance levels have become much more refined.  Our skill-sets have increased ten-fold.  One of these days I’ll make a list.

But this post is about Fakebook.  What it offers is not worth what it takes away.  In its absence I’ve started reading fiction again.  I’ve also decided to take up sewing, which surprises me about my own self as much as when I took up cheesemaking, my now favorite hobby by far and one I’m getting pretty good at.

Fakebook is a time-sucking, energy-wasting, spell-casting, manipulating, ad-pushing pain in the ass.  I’m done.

“It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

torinpups

 

There are so many better things to do!

 

Part 21: Strawberry Fields Forever

The perception sorcery we find ourselves in

Awash in illusion, deception, sin

waveonion
Notice the ceiling.

 

Which flowers you grow laws rule

 

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Let me take you down

nubianskristi2

Cause I’m going to

 

Strawberry fields

Nothing is real

nothingisreal

And nothing to get hung about

hungabout

 

Living is easy, with eyes closed. Misunderstanding all you see.

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Always, no sometimes, think it’s me.
But you know when it’s a dream.

I think I know it means a “Yes” but it’s all wrong.
That is I think I disagree.

Married to illusion. What sort of glam-golem are we-they creating?

 

You get to see the pretty pictures.  But not the shit, literal shoveling shit, that went in to creating them.  A Walt Disney dream.  For every success, a dozen failures you don’t see. I don’t talk about.

 

This is what I really think, after many months of research into Geoengineering.

 

We are all now ruled by the cartoonish mentality of the technocracy.  They are trying to force upon us a reality based on illusion.

I want to thank the following folk for their work, which has helped me tremendously to navigate this fool’s path.  This particular journey may be over, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be able to move on too far.

unslaved

crrow777

thehighersidechat

corbetreport

1pacificredwood

geoengineeringwatch

yamakawa

What a long strange trip it is.

 

 

 

 

 

Part 20: Sabotage

Sabotage is a word that immediately makes me think of a song, which makes me remember a person.

I wish this were not the case, because the song is rather awful, though I liked it in my youth.  The person is the one who introduced me to the song, my first real love relationship as a quasi-adult, accompanied by the typical bittersweet accoutrements those loves tend to take.

We were too young to think seriously of marriage, or seriously about much of anything.  It was sex, drugs and rock and roll, seasoned with a bit of university study.  The song is by Beastie Boys.  I danced at frat parties, singing along between beer bongs and hits off the pipe, to some of the most offensive and vulgar lyrics imaginable.

My imagination was obviously not too developed yet, as those early rap songs were Shirley Temple’s ‘Good Ship Lollipop’ compared to what was being sung a decade later. And now?  It sounds as if the bar has been so lowered as to no longer be visible by human perception.

Here I’ve been harping on for months about fake and fraudulent science and the disaster in the making that is Geoengineering, and dreading this particular post, #20.  This path of the fool is nearly over, I haven’t the stamina to begin another one too soon, which means I must get these last two right.

I have not judged myself too harshly, for those extended years of parties and travel and romance.  I grew out of it, eventually, as did he.  Some were not so lucky, and died instead.  For me it was relatively harmless, I was a foolish party girl for a while, and I expect I’d choose it again in that age, though I’d never choose a redo now.

Are you kidding me?  No way! Have you looked at what’s going on these days?!  It’s not about kind buds and ecstasy, it’s heroin!  It’s round-the-clock pharmaceuticals.  It’s multi-generational drug abusers who make Grandma’s daily dry martinis seem like teatime at the Waldorf.

There is no real making sense of any of it rationally, until you understand sabotage.  Sabotage I’d first heard said, comes from the word ‘sabot’– a wooden clog–which is rumored to have been a way French anarchists would slyly disturb the status quo, apparently by using their shoe as a proverbial monkey wrench to the machine.

What our world is experiencing now is layer upon layer of sabotage.  Like the 100th monkey, the game catches on, it begins to accelerate exponentially, more folks get sucked into playing, some get very good at it.  Some of the saboteurs get so good at the game, they forget their role is as saboteurs.  They think they are heroes.  They hold the loftiest roles in the game. They BELIEVE!  They are proud! They helped to lower the bar and so they are good.

‘We are all in this together,’ they chant!  The answer is LOVE!

The answer, so they say, resides in one of the most nebulous terms on the planet.  We should know what love is; it should mean the same to everyone around the globe, we should spread that knowing and embrace whatever comes as a result, because unconditional love is contagious and we will all be one big happy human family.

We’ll just have to lower the bar a little bit more, because debauchery, vulgarity, lechery, sloth, addiction, those words are all so judgey and we can’t have hate speech!  We can have songs full of debased and abusive lingo, we can sing along to them, but to question what we’re singing is too critical and hateful for normal conversation.  Just pretend you are still 22 and a silly party girl, forever.

Nothing is worth fighting for.  It’s just the grand chessboard. Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.  Sing along.  Repeat after me.  Everything’s fine.  You’re getting sleepy.  Nothing to worry about.  Surrender gently . . that’s right . . . it’s just the age settling in.  Just stay calm, we’re almost there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part 17: Arcane XVII

It’s taken me seventeen cards now to figure out what it is specifically I don’t like about science. Others have said to me I don’t like science before, but I told them they were wrong. I pointed out my sincere appreciation of such great innovations like air conditioning and freeze-dried cheese cultures, PVC pipe and bolt-tolerant hybrid seeds, not to mention the chemical poisons I do actually sometimes use, in dire situations, like for fire ants and poison ivy, my two greatest nature nemeses.

Science is an extremely vast subject area, like religion, where it seems far too simplistic to say you like it, or you don’t like it. More black and white thinking that’s such a mainstay of modern culture.

I said early on in this series I’d go back to the very origins of science, alchemy, or wherever else this ‘Path of the fool’ took me. It’s only now I’ve come across a simple definition of science that shines just the right light on the center of my issue with science. “Science is the study of observable facts.”

I have some observable facts in the sky right now in the form of a cobweb of man-made clouds covering the sky. NASA at once names these “clouds” while still denying the existence of ‘chemtrails,’ which are clearly making said clouds, at least some of them.

expandingtrail

Scientists debate about global warming, whether it exists or doesn’t exist, without ever discussing the man-made chemical clouds covering the sky and changing the weather. Some even ignore that weather and climate might be at all related! As an analogy, it would appear that to science the study of a star is so vastly different from the study of a constellation or the galaxy that these distinct and separate fields rarely cross paths. I find this to be jaw-dropping dumb. I must be wrong, please, someone correct me!

The geoengineers themselves say in their global climate manipulation plans, there will be “weather winners and losers.” But they don’t talk about the weather modification that’s been going on for over one hundred years. Totally unrelated apparently. They propose “solar radiation management” SRM, which would require emitting an array of chemicals in the sky to block the sun and reflect radiation back into space. They deny this is a program currently in progress. They give a test date and location in Tucson, Arizona where they will give a shot from a balloon, that’s all.

The dozens of photos I’ve taken of chemical clouds over our property being at least partial emitted by aircraft are impossible, scientifically speaking. The thousands of videos of concerned folks around the globe who are posting all over Youtube and doing all they can to generate awareness and some even remote level of transparency are all just crazy conspiracy theorists, or anti-science wackos, or the most unfortunate combination of the two.

The numbers are staggering, earthly constellations of crazy conspiracy theorists around the globe pointing at the sky, but nothing reaching the airwaves of the mainstream media. How do they manage that? I have some ideas and I’ll be sharing them as the journey moves along.

For now, let me share some of the ones I’ve found impactful just in recent weeks.

http://www.wakingtimes.com/2016/03/14/who-owns-the-weather/

Michael Murphy Unconventional Grey documentary interview, Coast to Coast
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7874VBtf7YI

Chemtrails over France and Corsica, called of course, ‘normal’
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNn-fV0WQ2Q

http://www.aircrap.org/2017/03/25/its-your-sky-tennessee/

http://www.aircrap.org/2017/03/21/truly-new-manhattan-project-video/

JFK clip: weather modification and control
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PocH-xZ67o0

Jim Lee’s fantastic work on all kinds of geoengineering fronts, this one is my favorite but there is much more.  https://weathermodificationhistory.com/

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/mar/24/us-scientists-launch-worlds-biggest-solar-geoengineering-study?CMP=share_btn_tw

“And by the way, it’s not really a moral hazard, it’s more like free-riding on our grandkids.” David Keith, Geoengineer

I wonder, in the climate manipulation agenda, will we be weather winners or losers?  How about y’all?  How about your grandkids?  Will Monsanto’s aluminum and abiotic-resistant seeds be able to feed the entire globe as the chemicals saturate all land, air and water?  Do you find the experiments of science worth the cost?

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