30 Days Clean

I got my 30 day chip and then relapsed.  I was nervous about telling Handy Hubby.  I couldn’t decide if it was better to admit it immediately, or to wait until he was home from work.  In person, that’s better, right?

Or, was I just stalling.

August, my annual month of failures.  I was doing so good; I was so confident. Then BAM, it’s always the same, from white to black in an instant.  What is this mysterious pull we call addiction?  It’s more powerful than the will of the most powerful around us.  In my circle of fellow addicts not even a one commented they’d noticed I’d been away, so absorbed are these friends in addictions of their own.

I was on the wagon, as they say.  Or is it off the wagon?  I can never remember.  It felt good, really good.  I didn’t want it anymore, I could see through its tempting illusions, the anxiety and regret and guilt had vanished.  I was above it, looking down on my previous weaknesses as a queen might a pauper.  Over-confidence, perhaps.  Maybe I should’ve gone to a meeting.

Is there a Fakebooks Anonymous?  In fact, a whole Escape Social Media extended program for abusers (preferably in Hawaii)?

I see acute and chronic symptoms in folks all around me, yet few of us even try to escape it even knowing it’s being monitored and manipulated by the CIA, the NSA and who knows who in the world else.  The evidence and confessions cannot be ignored, the cognitive dissonance cannot continue to control us all forever.

surveillance

I wanted to find someone, that’s what did it, my relapse.  How sad is that?  I had no other way to find this person except through FB.  This is unhealthy dependence, a solution that creates another problem, quite a few more in fact.

hooligans1

But I found our sweet pups there!

I have 300+ “friends” there!

How will I know what’s happening with the half dozen actually friends who post there?  Don’t I learn what’s going on in the world there?

Every new person I meet wants to connect on FB; it’s one of the first questions now between strangers who want to stay in touch.  Are you on FB?

Can I say ‘no’?  It seems almost . . . impolite.  Not to mention, a bit suspicious.  Who’s not on FB these days?  Might he be a criminal? Who is she hiding from?

Whether on the wagon or off it, round and round I go.

Maybe I need some FB methadone.  Like, to go to back to my favorite old comfort zones:  Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Charlie’s Angels.

Or, maybe Dr. Phil can help me.

serveimage

 

 

 

 

 

Cheese-making: Science and Sensuality

Cheeses currently in our aging fridge, which is nothing more than a cheap beverage model sadly impersonating a cave in Switzerland: Swiss (of course), Tomme (another Alpine cheese), Munster, Camembert (wrapped in fig leaves), Pepper Jack,  Farmhouse Cheddar (cloth-wrapped), Gouda, Dill Havarti, Mozzarella (the old-fashioned way), Ricotta.  Plus, in the kitchen fridge: yogurt, kefir, Mexican queso, and chocolate ice cream–all homemade with the freshest Grade A, raw milk from small farm, grass-fed cows available for purchase in East Texas.

These are the kind of cheeses one has a tough time finding where to legally buy, or sell, not only in America, but in quite a few other Western countries as well.  In most of the countries who consider themselves ‘free’ as far as I’m aware, acquiring licensing for everything dairy under the Federal sun will still not grant you the right to sell such cheeses.  Big Brother is so very worried about our health, after all.
http://theplate.nationalgeographic.com/2015/09/30/some-like-it-raw-the-state-of-unpasteurized-cheese-in-the-u-s/

Some of these are cheeses the way our ancestors made them–even using fig sap as rennet and kefir as starter culture.  Others of them have been made possible only with the help of modern science–freeze-dried cultures in order to create the holes and flavor of Swiss, for example, or the orange-rinded stinky varieties like Munster or Limburger, or the blue veins of the pungent Roquefort, the reliable white mold of a Camembert–which make it possible to imitate, with a reasonable degree of success, the most famous of region-specific cheeses we’ve come to know and love over the generations.

The first time I tasted cheese that did not come wrapped in plastic I was a teenager in France.  It was also the first time I tasted milk straight from the cow.  I was stunned to realize these products, considered the same from my own home to my host family’s home, had almost nothing in common.  To the eye they appeared congruent, but to the other senses they were not even distant cousins.

But it’s one thing to harness an appreciation for the depth and subtitles of a finely- crafted cheese, it’s quite another to think you can make one.  In Texas.  In an ‘aging fridge’ from Wal-mart.  With $7/gallon milk you drive 3 hours to acquire and sometimes using cultures manufactured in a lab.

Is it just for the love of cheese?  It’s true, while doubtless they can’t compete with their cave-aged predecessors, still available in their natural state to only a precious few, I’ve made some of the best cheeses I’ve tasted available in this neck of the Piney Woods.

Handy Hubby appreciates my rather expensive and quite time-consuming hobby, but that’s just a bonus.  I think these old skills and crafts are crucial to maintain and pass along to future generations, that’s for sure.  But none of these good reasons would be enough, even all together, if it weren’t for the pleasure of the process.

The sensuality of cheese-making cannot be over-stated and to describe it would take poetry far superior than is my capacity to create.  This is a hobby that touches, demands, cultivates every one of our senses and a fair amount of intellect as well.  A whole-minded approach is crucial for success, because process alone will only get you so far.

You may scoff and think a cheese is a cheese, it’s a matter of taste alone, and they mostly taste the same.  If so, you poor, poor dear.

“Those . . . from whom nature has withheld the legacy of taste, have long faces, and long eyes and noses, whatever their height there is something elongated in their proportions.  Their hair is dark and unglossy, and they are never plump, it was they who invented trousers.”

Anthelme Brillat-Savarin The Physiology of Taste quoted in A Natural History of the Senses by Diane Ackerman

You may laugh and say . . . “sound?”  If cheese-making requires a subtle practice of every sense than that includes sound . . . how silly.

Someday I will make the case for sound in good cheese-making, because I think there’s a case to be made.  In addition to my own experimentation, I suspect I need search no further than the many monasteries made famous for their cheeses for more supporting evidence.

Cheese is still more pleasure than exudes the senses in the thrill of retrieving and treasuring a fading art, and in marrying the inevitable couple of progress and tradition.

“We are all served more and more by factory machines, maybe inevitably, and by schedules, even our own, and in time, as has often been pointed out, we come to serve them.  Some of us are becoming chafed by it all.  We seek to reaffirm ourselves, to do and make for ourselves, to find new ways to do so–many of them admittedly old ways, but new and revitalizing ones to us and our friends.  We want to find out how the basic components of our lives are made and come to us to use.  We seek to become part once more of the processes, and possessors once more of the details of our own existence.”

The Cheeses and Wines of England and France, with Notes on Irish Whiskey

by John Ehle

cheesebooks

A few favorite references and a favorite resource:

2016quesocheesedip-1024x932
The Promiseland Farm

If you want to start somewhere, this is a super easy cheese even a picky American kid would surely like, think Velveeta, only healthy.  http://thepromiselandfarm.com/queso-cheese-spread-dip/

 

No More Fakebook

torinpups2“Fakebook,” Handy Hubby calls it.  Of course he’s right, I’ve long known he’s right.  I left Fakebook years ago, then went back, against my better judgment.  It has become to me one more insufferable Catch-22 of the modern age.

I’ve met a few good folks there and it was the source in finding our new livestock guard dog pups, who are so precious it’s a real challenge not to spoil them!

It is a good tool for keeping in touch, no doubt.  I’ve also appreciated how it’s like the modern equivalent of scrapbooking in some fundamental ways. They keep better track of our photos than I do.  They record it all. And therein lies the Catch 22.

Fakebook has tipped in scales to more negative than positive, not just for me, I see folks leaving it and considering leaving it and I can’t blame them, in fact, I’ve again just rejoined the leavers, and this time, I’m never going back.

Oh my, I just felt a twang of panic in my gut.  Never?  Did I really mean that?  That’s so very . . . permanent.

I know it’s wrong!  I know they are spying, manipulating, engineering, censoring, and if that weren’t bad enough, the ads are over the top.  I just can’t stand it.  In fact, I find I’m turning to books, real books printed on real paper, just to be able to find a recipe without eight ads and pop-ups attached.

And I know very well it’s not just about the advertising, that’s just the surface level annoyance and distraction.  It is about Big Data, which I’ve written about several times already, but for those still uninformed, some background material.

https://www.corbettreport.com/episode-319-psychographics-101/

And Truthstream Media:

 

If I am to align my life with my principles, as I’ve sworn to do, I cannot support this level of technocracy.  Next will be the Smart phones, out of our lives!  We do just fine without satellite TV already.   We will vehemently reject all 5G roll-out “Smart” crap that we possibly can.

We will get better at it, these things take considerable time and effort. We are gradually becoming more refined in making due with the old ways, and isn’t it ironic.  I jumped on-board with educational technology as a grad student, made it my thing, taught online courses since the first years that was possible.

And now I look and shiver as at a golem.  Oh my stars, what have we created?

I must take a deep bow to those who saw it decades before I did, the ones I once considered practically prehistoric.  The ‘old folk’ who were so afraid of technology, so concerned about privacy. The paranoid ones who suspected, no, even had valid proof, that the government could not be trusted with this information power house.

We are in the process collectively of accepting enslavement to the grid. If you still believe the powers-that-be are benevolent, that once was me.  I can’t say all that it was that blinded me then, I was seeing it and reading it, but it wasn’t yet REAL.

I’m reminded of famous words that made a decent impression on me so long ago I can’t recall, by Ralph Waldo Emerson. “Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. Society is a joint-stock company, in which the members agree, for the better securing of his bread to each shareholder, to surrender the liberty and culture of the eater. The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion. It loves not realities and creators, but names and customs.”

We, Kensho, have been learning about self-reliance.  It’s more work and more responsibility than I’d known before, certainly much more physical labor.  Many sacrifices have been made by us both.  We stopped traveling.  Our social and political priorities have shifted.  Our values and worldview and tolerance levels have become much more refined.  Our skill-sets have increased ten-fold.  One of these days I’ll make a list.

But this post is about Fakebook.  What it offers is not worth what it takes away.  In its absence I’ve started reading fiction again.  I’ve also decided to take up sewing, which surprises me about my own self as much as when I took up cheesemaking, my now favorite hobby by far and one I’m getting pretty good at.

Fakebook is a time-sucking, energy-wasting, spell-casting, manipulating, ad-pushing pain in the ass.  I’m done.

“It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

torinpups

 

There are so many better things to do!

 

Part 21: Strawberry Fields Forever

The perception sorcery we find ourselves in

Awash in illusion, deception, sin

waveonion
Notice the ceiling.

 

Which flowers you grow laws rule

 

DSCN0993 (2)

Let me take you down

nubianskristi2

Cause I’m going to

 

Strawberry fields

Nothing is real

nothingisreal

And nothing to get hung about

hungabout

 

Living is easy, with eyes closed. Misunderstanding all you see.

DSCN0984 (2)

Always, no sometimes, think it’s me.
But you know when it’s a dream.

I think I know it means a “Yes” but it’s all wrong.
That is I think I disagree.

Married to illusion. What sort of glam-golem are we-they creating?

 

You get to see the pretty pictures.  But not the shit, literal shoveling shit, that went in to creating them.  A Walt Disney dream.  For every success, a dozen failures you don’t see. I don’t talk about.

 

This is what I really think, after many months of research into Geoengineering.

 

We are all now ruled by the cartoonish mentality of the technocracy.  They are trying to force upon us a reality based on illusion.

I want to thank the following folk for their work, which has helped me tremendously to navigate this fool’s path.  This particular journey may be over, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be able to move on too far.

unslaved

crrow777

thehighersidechat

corbetreport

1pacificredwood

geoengineeringwatch

yamakawa

What a long strange trip it is.

 

 

 

 

 

Part 20: Sabotage

Sabotage is a word that immediately makes me think of a song, which makes me remember a person.

I wish this were not the case, because the song is rather awful, though I liked it in my youth.  The person is the one who introduced me to the song, my first real love relationship as a quasi-adult, accompanied by the typical bittersweet accoutrements those loves tend to take.

We were too young to think seriously of marriage, or seriously about much of anything.  It was sex, drugs and rock and roll, seasoned with a bit of university study.  The song is by Beastie Boys.  I danced at frat parties, singing along between beer bongs and hits off the pipe, to some of the most offensive and vulgar lyrics imaginable.

My imagination was obviously not too developed yet, as those early rap songs were Shirley Temple’s ‘Good Ship Lollipop’ compared to what was being sung a decade later. And now?  It sounds as if the bar has been so lowered as to no longer be visible by human perception.

Here I’ve been harping on for months about fake and fraudulent science and the disaster in the making that is Geoengineering, and dreading this particular post, #20.  This path of the fool is nearly over, I haven’t the stamina to begin another one too soon, which means I must get these last two right.

I have not judged myself too harshly, for those extended years of parties and travel and romance.  I grew out of it, eventually, as did he.  Some were not so lucky, and died instead.  For me it was relatively harmless, I was a foolish party girl for a while, and I expect I’d choose it again in that age, though I’d never choose a redo now.

Are you kidding me?  No way! Have you looked at what’s going on these days?!  It’s not about kind buds and ecstasy, it’s heroin!  It’s round-the-clock pharmaceuticals.  It’s multi-generational drug abusers who make Grandma’s daily dry martinis seem like teatime at the Waldorf.

There is no real making sense of any of it rationally, until you understand sabotage.  Sabotage I’d first heard said, comes from the word ‘sabot’– a wooden clog–which is rumored to have been a way French anarchists would slyly disturb the status quo, apparently by using their shoe as a proverbial monkey wrench to the machine.

What our world is experiencing now is layer upon layer of sabotage.  Like the 100th monkey, the game catches on, it begins to accelerate exponentially, more folks get sucked into playing, some get very good at it.  Some of the saboteurs get so good at the game, they forget their role is as saboteurs.  They think they are heroes.  They hold the loftiest roles in the game. They BELIEVE!  They are proud! They helped to lower the bar and so they are good.

‘We are all in this together,’ they chant!  The answer is LOVE!

The answer, so they say, resides in one of the most nebulous terms on the planet.  We should know what love is; it should mean the same to everyone around the globe, we should spread that knowing and embrace whatever comes as a result, because unconditional love is contagious and we will all be one big happy human family.

We’ll just have to lower the bar a little bit more, because debauchery, vulgarity, lechery, sloth, addiction, those words are all so judgey and we can’t have hate speech!  We can have songs full of debased and abusive lingo, we can sing along to them, but to question what we’re singing is too critical and hateful for normal conversation.  Just pretend you are still 22 and a silly party girl, forever.

Nothing is worth fighting for.  It’s just the grand chessboard. Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.  Sing along.  Repeat after me.  Everything’s fine.  You’re getting sleepy.  Nothing to worry about.  Surrender gently . . that’s right . . . it’s just the age settling in.  Just stay calm, we’re almost there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part 17: Arcane XVII

It’s taken me seventeen cards now to figure out what it is specifically I don’t like about science. Others have said to me I don’t like science before, but I told them they were wrong. I pointed out my sincere appreciation of such great innovations like air conditioning and freeze-dried cheese cultures, PVC pipe and bolt-tolerant hybrid seeds, not to mention the chemical poisons I do actually sometimes use, in dire situations, like for fire ants and poison ivy, my two greatest nature nemeses.

Science is an extremely vast subject area, like religion, where it seems far too simplistic to say you like it, or you don’t like it. More black and white thinking that’s such a mainstay of modern culture.

I said early on in this series I’d go back to the very origins of science, alchemy, or wherever else this ‘Path of the fool’ took me. It’s only now I’ve come across a simple definition of science that shines just the right light on the center of my issue with science. “Science is the study of observable facts.”

I have some observable facts in the sky right now in the form of a cobweb of man-made clouds covering the sky. NASA at once names these “clouds” while still denying the existence of ‘chemtrails,’ which are clearly making said clouds, at least some of them.

expandingtrail

Scientists debate about global warming, whether it exists or doesn’t exist, without ever discussing the man-made chemical clouds covering the sky and changing the weather. Some even ignore that weather and climate might be at all related! As an analogy, it would appear that to science the study of a star is so vastly different from the study of a constellation or the galaxy that these distinct and separate fields rarely cross paths. I find this to be jaw-dropping dumb. I must be wrong, please, someone correct me!

The geoengineers themselves say in their global climate manipulation plans, there will be “weather winners and losers.” But they don’t talk about the weather modification that’s been going on for over one hundred years. Totally unrelated apparently. They propose “solar radiation management” SRM, which would require emitting an array of chemicals in the sky to block the sun and reflect radiation back into space. They deny this is a program currently in progress. They give a test date and location in Tucson, Arizona where they will give a shot from a balloon, that’s all.

The dozens of photos I’ve taken of chemical clouds over our property being at least partial emitted by aircraft are impossible, scientifically speaking. The thousands of videos of concerned folks around the globe who are posting all over Youtube and doing all they can to generate awareness and some even remote level of transparency are all just crazy conspiracy theorists, or anti-science wackos, or the most unfortunate combination of the two.

The numbers are staggering, earthly constellations of crazy conspiracy theorists around the globe pointing at the sky, but nothing reaching the airwaves of the mainstream media. How do they manage that? I have some ideas and I’ll be sharing them as the journey moves along.

For now, let me share some of the ones I’ve found impactful just in recent weeks.

http://www.wakingtimes.com/2016/03/14/who-owns-the-weather/

Michael Murphy Unconventional Grey documentary interview, Coast to Coast
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7874VBtf7YI

Chemtrails over France and Corsica, called of course, ‘normal’
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNn-fV0WQ2Q

http://www.aircrap.org/2017/03/25/its-your-sky-tennessee/

http://www.aircrap.org/2017/03/21/truly-new-manhattan-project-video/

JFK clip: weather modification and control
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PocH-xZ67o0

Jim Lee’s fantastic work on all kinds of geoengineering fronts, this one is my favorite but there is much more.  https://weathermodificationhistory.com/

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/mar/24/us-scientists-launch-worlds-biggest-solar-geoengineering-study?CMP=share_btn_tw

“And by the way, it’s not really a moral hazard, it’s more like free-riding on our grandkids.” David Keith, Geoengineer

I wonder, in the climate manipulation agenda, will we be weather winners or losers?  How about y’all?  How about your grandkids?  Will Monsanto’s aluminum and abiotic-resistant seeds be able to feed the entire globe as the chemicals saturate all land, air and water?  Do you find the experiments of science worth the cost?

JFK-weather-control-1024x576

Part 12: Upside Down World

I’ve asked a number of folks what they think of my ‘gravity-free icicles’ photos from November, when the temperature dropped by 50 degrees in a few hours.

I’ve sent it to strangers with Youtube channels who I thought might be interested in this sort of phenomenon. I’ve had no replies from them. I did hear back from one friend whose simple comment has made the most sense so far. “It’s like the world turned upside-down,” he said.

It certainly is. It’s 85 degrees right now here on the wee homestead, yesterday I got stung by a wasp on the knee in the house. Ouch! Not only are wasps circling in this unseasonable warmth, we’ve been vacuuming up lady bugs by the thousands. I once thought lady bugs were kinda cute, now they are on par in my view with ticks and fleas.

“It’s great! I’m in my summer clothes,” chirps the choir, parroted across social media. Strawberry fields forever! Nothing to get hung about!

Adapt2030 says there’s a Grand Solar Minimum reeking havoc in the world, and it’s going to get much worse over the next years.  A new Ice Age, it seems.  Then there’s the Pole shift to consider. And Planet X, or is it Nibiru? Lots of speculation on all the weather craziness, obviously. And folks love to talk the weather, and I love to talk the weather with folks, until I say, “What are all those lines in the sky?”

stripesky

What about the weather modification? What about the chemtrails?

xspray

When I look up this is what I see.  I don’t like it!

uglyhaze

What the hell is going on up there? This is considered “sunny” by the local weather man.  All is normal, just a bit unseasonable.  Why can’t we get any straight answers?

chemfog.JPG

Oh, but the weather, look, it’s beautiful! 85 degrees in February! The pear trees are blooming so the bees are happy! Just get happy too!

beeblossom

Daffodils in January, stop complaining, what could be wrong with that?!

daffodils

The pigs don’t seem to mind, look how they’ve grown!

pigs

What if life was just a game?  Nothing is real . . .

Tori races piglets, cute vid, bad game. 🙂

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B1Qf-Qcg0t83MWF2Z0REY3pkb28

This week’s bread crumbs:

Best channel I’ve found to better understand how the weather is being manipulated with visual aids, for fun and profit, at a location near you– 1PacificRedwood https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXcnHuosOLaKOGU0qQoYzfA

How it’s going down . . .

http://www.startribune.com/what-tocqueville-foretold-a-despotic-democracy/260480181/

In upside down world . . .

https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/schedules/downloads/child/0-18yrs-child-combined-schedule.pdf