What Did You Do to the Floor?!

Grandpa had a strategy when we were growing up that I think is quite common.  When we would hurt ourselves and were crying he’d redirect our attention to something else.  For example, if we tripped and fell he’d say, “Is the chair ok?”  Or the floor, or the toy, or whatever other object was a party to the accident.

In the short-term this is a really good strategy in that it pretty much always works, short of serious injury.

But, with a bird’s eye view, I can now witness how in my (FOO) family of origin, just as in the culture at large, we’ve traded short-term successes at the cost of long-term thriving.

Now that I’m a woman, as the French say—‘of a certain age’— I understand the hidden costs of this short-term fix.  It’s taken many years and many, many hours of research and unraveling to mend this deleterious aspect of my upbringing.  Me, like all of life, is a work-in-progress.

I know some will just shake their heads thinking I’m blaming others for all my problems in life.  It’s really not about that at all.  Blame is irrelevant to me.  I seek wisdom.  And healing.  For myself, for others and for the world.

I’ll even take that one step further.  I think if Grandpa were listening to me take him to task over this from somewhere in the great beyond, he’d be proud of me for standing up to him in his past life.  Because he knows it’s for the greater good.  I truly believe the dead don’t give a flying hoot about their misdeeds once in the afterlife.  They are beyond body and therefore beyond ego.  I can’t even imagine the possibility that he’s out there somewhere still trying to be right and almighty.  I can actually hear him laughing at that idea, and he had a great laugh. 

So, here’s to you, Gramps.  These have been the long-term effects for me, which I’ve been consistently healing and re-training:  Not paying attention to my own pain before it gets severe.  Discounting my internal experiences and knowing too often.  Minimizing and bypassing physical sensations, especially danger.  Burying my intuition.  Misdirecting anger.  Having more compassion for others, and sometimes even animals and objects, than I do my own well-being.  Not asking for help or support enough.  Isolating excessively during times of deep pain.

That’s my personal list of the largely unspoken long-term effects (trauma) of gaslighting in childhood.  I’m certainly not alone in feeling the repercussions of this brand of parenting.  Even with mild levels of those raised in family circumstances where there was consistent gaslighting the offspring often end up repeating these toxic patterns in their own relationships and parenting styles.  It’s emotional and intellectual manipulation and it’s so pervasive in our culture that it’s rarely addressed.  

Until lately.

I see this changing so much now, not just in myself, but really lighting a fire in the entire culture, with vast amounts of material available online and in print to help folks recognize these techniques, heal from them, and eventually, to become such a rockstar at navigating your own reality that you’ll never get fooled again.

To me this is the most positive sign in these troubled times.  To me it means nothing less than an enlightenment of those who are strong enough, and diligent enough, to see through the gaslighters’ fog and to realize we’ve been serving dysfunctional and narcissistic individuals, institutions, and indeed an entire toxic system, of power abuse. And this must stop, in our own lives, and in the world at large.

Here are a few books I’ve found helpful.

The Human Magnet Syndrome by Ross Rosenberg

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker

Self-Therapy by Jay Earley

The best YT channels on the topic along with Ross Rosenberg, in my opinion, so far, because the numbers are growing rapidly:

 

If psychology and self-help books and videos aren’t right for you, I’ve got another suggestion that will probably sound crazy to a lot of folks.  It did to me, before I tried it, several years ago now, on the advice of a therapist:  Learn the Tarot cards.

They’ve become like buoys in the ocean to me.

Of everything I’ve tried so far, this has been the single-most helpful for me personally.  They have the power to put you in far deeper touch with the archetypes of your own psyche and the consciousness of the world.  Not only are they engrossing and insightful, they’re pretty fun, too.  At least I think so!

Of course, as with everything, you need a really great teacher.

If you want, you can borrow mine.  🙂

63741E8D-E732-4F0F-A430-242BAAC65BBA

Michael Tsarion

Path of the Fool: Meanings of the Major and Minor Arcana

18AE5BEF-3733-4FED-9A5E-59AD77C5D51E

 

Conspiracy Theorists’ Theme Song Vote, or something

1. Baby Got Back

Whaaa?  I like big buts . . . Get it?

But . . . How did the magic bullet get ricocheted from the high rise to the grassy knoll, through the driver then the head and then Jackie stayed in sticky, bloody cloths all day? Have you ever tried that, even for like, half a day?

But . . . How did their passports just appear on the pavement of serious destruction, like serious fire and brimstone shyte, while the rest of the rubble was being shipped to China? 

But . . . What’s up with building 7?

But . . . Who is John Galt?

I LIKE big BUTs, yo! You, no?!

2. You need us, Gilligan’s Island

So obvious already, right?  If I need you and you need me and we need us and all this fuss, well, clearly we are a happy needy collective stuck together on a tiny island singing crappy songs that were shoved down our throats since childhood.  

3. B-52s, everything they ever did.  Own private Idaho, is your mind, what, I’m not your little girl? Limburger? WTF is she screaming that we called music and lyrics? That played in our malls and on our radios and now reinstalls itself in triplicate on my current rainbow filters, you assclowns!  Induce psychosis, call this alternative music.

4. Back in Black Aka, Nihilism 3.0.  Take the black pill, everything old is new again, we can dissect JFK until the cows come home in 2525.  If man is still alive.

Nothing new under the sun, son.

Rock the crowhouse, casbah.

5. Trump

I met a girl, of about 7

Her grandfather loved to sit on her, and laugh

Her uncle loved to throw seaweed on her head, and laugh

She was such a funny odd girl, they all said.

Why not throw seaweed on her head?

How she screams and gets so cross!

Can’t she see it is but moss?

Little fool, join the games.

Your kin delight in your chagrin

Sensitive girl

you see the lies we buy

but you don’t understand

how we love them.

384F35D1-5A01-48C1-A4E0-022B42A2E9F4

 

Feminine Psychology (part 1)

A new series for me, quite inspired actually, and not at all unrelated to our themes here on the wee homestead, even though that may not appear as immediately obvious. 

We’re going to approach it in a completely non-confrontational, voluntary, super simple journey. KISS—keep it simple, stupid! 

How does nature form the divine feminine?

Jolene by Dolly Parton

Are her fears valid?
Does she spend her precious life energy protecting herself and her family from the perceived “Jolene”? 


How does she do this—a boob job at 60? Bleached hair? Botox to make her eyes look brighter?  How much time does she offer to her gods?

Maybe surrounding herself with only admirers, to boost her perceived public value?  Maybe shaming attractive women who dare to compete? Maybe rebuffing conversations that make her uncomfortable?  Maybe by using her charm to get out of yet another traffic ticket?

How does Hollywood exploit your/her vulnerabilities?

How has this level of exploitation been venerated?

How do you give this level of low-brow passion-play manipulation a free pass to your psyche every damn day?  Through your music, your soap operas, your cruise vacations, your TV programming, your social media?

And don’t pretend it started with flocking Instagram, bitches!  Your mothers were raised on Harlequin and Shirley Temple. Get a bloody grip.

Compete with “perfect”.

YAY!

7A3EA08A-C148-4799-91AD-49993FA46E83

 

 

Censorship Violates Consciousness

Our old paradigms of consciousness are shifting.  More and more we have the courageous scientists stepping out of their consensus trance, and one of the biggest is certainly Nassim Haramein.  I heard him first many years ago, and while he’s still way over my head, this interview helps to break down his theory to the lay audience.

While I can’t say how or why or if crystals work, or planets are hollow, or if the Fractal Systems Theory is the new Big Bang, I can agree on one fundamental aspect of the nature of the universe and of consciousness, and that is what the spiritualists once called ‘ether’ exists.  We are ‘informing’ the universe and it us in return at every nano-second.  I know this by studying nature, as did many of Haramein’s predecessors, like Viktor Shauburger and Nikola Tesla and Albert Einstein.  You don’t have to be an actual renowned physicist, or a 19th century clairvoyant, you only have to start to recognize and appreciate the patterns of nature all around us.  There is an organizing principle, a higher law, and to bring this all back down to earth, this is why censorship is a crime.

We absolutely need more powerful individuals like this Google insider gone whistleblower to clean out these violations of natural law.

The voice and will of the people is what creates our reality, at every layer.