This year Hubby and I passed our 17th anniversary Test of Marital Bliss, more or less devoted, mostly minus the bliss.
While at first blush this post might read like something of a roast of us both, I mean it actually to be a tribute to us both, to our loving growth, as well as a bit of advice to newlyweds, who will most certainly ignore it, bless their young hearts.
“Never go to bed angry,” was my grandfather’s advice, at my first wedding. That marriage lasted just shy of five years. While I did learn some great life lessons from Grandpa, that particular one proved pretty useless.
I’d rewrite it now as something close to the exact opposite: Never try to resolve any issue while angry. What better way to overcome your anger? A good night’s sleep.
Exit Glacier, Alaska, stock photo
My second attempt at marital bliss showed far more potential immediately. I’ve told this story of Hubby and I many times before, because it’s a great story. When he first proposed to me, in a tent at Exit Glacier in Alaska, we had just high-tailed it out of a precarious and perhaps even dangerous situation in the wee hours of the morning from the tourist boat where he’d been working for nearly a decade previously and had invited me to join him that summer season.
My presence there and his devotion to me was apparently causing a serious rift between him and his good friend/employer.
We found ourselves sneaking off the boat pre-dawn, strategically, while everyone else was out, because Hubby had lost all confidence in his boss’ professionalism and maybe even his sanity after an extremely inappropriate altercation the night before.
It reads more like fiction than real life, I do realize. But, isn’t that often how life goes? As we pulled out of Prince William Sound in the compact rental car stuffed with the duffel bags of all his possessions, we drove straight into a glorious and totally unexpected rainbow. Cross my heart, no exaggeration at all, across the valley as the sun rose above the mountain pass was the most gorgeous rainbow I’d ever witnessed.
I barked and awed and carried on enthusiastically to a mostly apprehensive man trying to hold it together during this incredibly bold and unprecedented move.
How could it not be auspicious, a wonderful omen, I raved, on and on?! After all, it was the most exquisite rainbow I’d ever seen. How could that be totally by chance?!
That is, until a few days ago.
On my birthday, as Hubby was flying offshore in the Gulf of Mexico, as he’s been doing for about a decade now, he took this shot from his helicopter.
Gorgeous, auspicious, but, he didn’t even think to send it to me at the time. That’s the real point of this post.
He took this shot because he knew I’d love it, that’s for sure. He’s not the synchronicity believer that I am, he thinks celebrating birthdays is for kids and he’s not nearly as impressed with rainbows as I am, clearly. I doubt he shared this shot with his offshore crew, because I doubt there are any among them who are so eager to gush over rainbows in the Gulf.
I requested ages ago he take more photos while offshore, but I get it, he’s got a job to do out there, he’s not a tourist, and no one’s paying him to take photos.
But a couple of days ago when I asked if he had more good photos, he sent this one. I laughed out loud! I said, REAL photos please! NOT fake unicorn CGI gonna-fool-my-wife type photos! How dare you make fun of my rainbow love!
He swore up and down it’s real and totally un-retouched. And I gazed at it, truly amazed, stunned, in true AWE for at least a solid minute.
Then I said: “Oh My God! How on earth could you have not sent me this photo on my birthday, since it says right there that’s when you took it?!”
He looked at me like a deer in highlights for an extended moment, until I laughed. I shook my head, rolled my eyes, and laughed some more.
This was exactly the sort of thing, early in our marriage, that would’ve set me off. Proof, right there, front and center, of his thoughtlessness and insensitivity! Oh and how I felt that enticing tug of self-righteousness, don’t get me wrong!
But the wisdom of 19 years of loving this man, 17 years in wedlock-down, threw me, suddenly and unequivocally, into what I think is a State of Atlas Shrugs. She said, “So you got it a week late, and in a totally off-hand manner, but still, you got it. You really gonna cause a stink about that?”
And the still small voice of Wisdom replied, “No, ma’am!”
And the Reason of the middle-aged woman, now a Devoted Gardener for a decade, well accustomed to planting seeds three times before the right time strikes, realized the greater truth in that moment, beyond the banal ‘perfect’ timing desires of us mere mortals: Nature has a timetable that doesn’t match your Personal or Man-made calendar.
I’ve heard this repeated so many times now, from so many different and I believe well-meaning voices, that I decided it’s high time to add my own voice to this nonsense.
Nature doesn’t deceive. Nature doesn’t try to fool you.
Today this is repeated by quite a few philosophers, conspiracy theorists and ‘truthers’ as a way to elevate nature above man’s conning and cunning ways and to condemn our current fantasy-based reality. I agree our so-called civilization deserves plenty of condemning. But, I do not intend to trade one set of illusions for another.
Apparently this attitude goes way back, to the likes of Walter Russell and an entire camp of German Idealists. I love nature as much, maybe even more, than these guys, that’s for sure. Yet my experience is there are no greater deceptions to be found anywhere else, the worst of man’s worm tongue included, than there are to be found in nature.
You wouldn’t dare!
There are mushrooms so similar that not only a spore print, but a microscope is needed to tell them apart. Poisonous Amanita spissa or delicious Amanita rubescens? Chlorophyllum molybdites, lepiota Americana or macrolepiota procera? Do you want a nice dinner or an evening hugging the toilet? Don’t be fooled, choose wisely!
“Destroying Angel” the deadly Amanita virosa
Man got his idea for camouflage directly from nature, obviously. In some cases the camouflage is so stealth you could be staring directly at a living creature and not even know until it moves.
Take a walk in the woods and you’ll see sticks that look like snakes and insects that look like sticks. There are spiders that look a lot like bats and bugs that look more like birds.
There are plants like poison ivy, my greatest garden nemesis, that look completely benign, leave no feeling or trace at all in the moment, but 12-24 hours later, long after you’ve forgotten all about it, can elicit a rash so severe you’ll be begging for relief even if it takes the form of a cocktail of toxic pharmaceutical drugs.
That horror story is my arm, on too many occasions to count.
The possum plays dead so effectively he’ll fool nearly any predator. The most beautiful flowers can kill you.
Datura inoxia
The most disgusting and unappetizing swamp insect can be delectable.
In fact, to say nature is THE Master Deceiver is even an understatement if you ask me. Nature is a raving, lying bitch at least half the time.
Living so close to nature, growing food, co-creating with the land has offered me the greatest single lesson of my life: Cute and nice are the camouflage of prey and pets.
Nature does not play nice. Nice is for ninnies.
It’s considerably more deceptive when man’s hands meddle in nature’s mix as well, quite impossible sometimes to tell where one ends and the other begins.
Weston A. Price Foundation latest publication locked out of globe’s largest book retailer. Land of the free, my arse.
From their announcement:
THE CONTAGION MYTH BANNED ON AMAZON!
We are sad to announce that our new book, The Contagion Myth, is banned on Amazon—sad for what has happened to American freedom of expression. But Amazon’s actions tell us that we have already struck a nerve and the powers that be do not want the paradigm-busting information in our book to circulate.
Amazon will be refunding your money or not charging you if you pre-ordered on their site. However, you have many choices for ordering the book online at:
The disease called Covid-19 is not contagious and scientists have not properly isolated and purified a virus associated with the disease. The illness, characterized by lack of oxygen, widespread clotting, electrical or “fizzing” feelings, and degeneration of the lungs, fits the description of radiation poisoning from exposure to electromagnetic frequencies. The most likely culprit: microwave radiation from fifth generation wireless—5G. The Covid-19 illness has appeared following the deployment of 5G first in Wuhan, then in Europe and then in large cities in the United States.
That’s the message of The Contagion Myth, now available from Skyhorse Publishing. The authors, Thomas S. Cowan, MD, and Sally Fallon Morell, are the founders of the Weston A. Price Foundation and well-known advocates for a nutrient-dense traditional diet as the best protection against illness and environmental toxins.
Scientists from the U.S. Public Health Service were never able to prove that the Spanish Flu of 1918—which burst on the scene with the worldwide rollout of radio towers–was contagious; and no health agency has carried out the needed contagion studies on Covid-19.
Initially formulated by Louis Pasteur and Robert Koch, the germ theory of disease—that bacteria and viruses attack us and make us sick–has never met the common-sense criteria of Koch’s postulates, which call for subjecting a healthy organism to the isolated bacteria or virus. In
fact, while bacteria have received the blame for disease since the nineteenth century, the last two decades have witnessed a complete paradigm shift. Science has demonstrated that we live in symbiotic relationship with bacteria in the intestinal tract; bacteria help us digest our food, enhance the immune system, and also appear when necessary to clean up dead tissue. Bacteria only produce poisons under conditions of filth and lack of oxygen.
Cowan and Fallon Morell argue that we will soon see a paradigm shift when it comes to viruses; that viruses are not harmful, but helpful exosomes that our cells produce to rid the body of poisons and make adjustments to new environmental threats, such as 5G millimeter wave radiation.
It follows that masks, social distancing, testing for genetic material (not an actual virus) and vaccines will not solve the Covid-19 problem. The challenge instead is to institute etiquette and rules for the safe use of wireless technology. The authors also propose dietary and life-style strategies that can help protect against 5G and other electromagnetic frequencies.
Bullied in my own hammock! Apparently she’s one of a great many in this country who have taken a few lessons in tyranny.
Ok, so I let her win, this time. At least I got an egg out of it.
I love foraging for mushrooms! I just really wish they were easier to identify. Like good sourdough, it’s serious business, but some folks make it look so easy.
I’m a novice, still, after years, but getting there on the slow boat. A lunch of freshly foraged chanterelles sautéed in butter with a delicious sourdough I’m still trying to master. Along with a whole lot of mushrooms I can’t identify.
We can’t even buy bread like this in our area and I bet there’s a lot of folks in that boat. DIY! Here’s the expert to show you just how to do it: https://youtu.be/UF9dCkKhBnI
This is really the last straw and it’s clear I must find a way to demonstrate the resolute firmness of my stance. I will not comply, cooperate, collaborate, conform, or negotiate.
To that end, I’m going to coin a new mental disorder for myself and all the other poor dear souls seriously suffering for the idiocy of this current madness sweeping global civilization.
All those with Authoritarian Defiance Syndrome please step forward. Let’s join together in our victimhood, in that, at least, we can feel a part of the in-crowd again.
The scenario that did me in was serious indeed. In hindsight, with my 2020 goggles on, breathing freely without a suffocating face diaper, I’ve rewritten this conversation in a more sincere way, closer to the way I really feel. Authenticity is so important these days, or so they keep saying. How that fits in with covering the most expressive part of the face and the fine nuances of the voice, I’ve not a clue, but that doesn’t really matter now.
I gifted myself a birthday present and I was really excited about it. I’m not a big shopper at all, but I do love learning and adventure. So I invited Hubby and a friend to join me for a plant walk at the Caddo Mounds with a well-known naturalist in our region.
I was very excited, because I already tried to go on this plant walk last year, right before a manufactured tornado in the middle of the day during one of their spiritual ceremonies leveled the place, along with miles of the surrounding forest. Needless to say, the event was canceled.
Having already paid the $50 each for the afternoon walk, I received a courtesy call for the current event: Masks required.
Of course, I cancelled, despite my intense desire to learn from this expert on the flora and fauna in fall in our region and waiting patiently already a year and a half.
Why do I refuse? ADS. That’s right: Authoritarian Defiance Syndrome. I find it absolutely impossible to bow to tyranny. It’s not just that it’s even more ridiculous to walk around the forest in a mask than it is in the city. It’s the principle. Many will have no idea what that word means and even less what it looks like in action.
Another friend suggested I write to this expert and ask for special permission to remain free of required face diaper. I considered this option, and thought, what appeal might I make for such an undeserved privilege? Why should I be able to breath and speak freely while everyone else in the group is muzzled? How selfish. After all, I know folks who’ve got infections and rashes from wearing these awful things, yet still they comply. Is my suffering on par with theirs before making such a bold gesture as expecting special privileges from the expert?
What makes me so special? I haven’t worn one yet and it’s my goal to keep it that way. But, how? My concern is accelerating. It looks like this charade is not going to let up and in fact, the tyrants look to me like they are doubling down, with great pleasure.
ADS. The harder they push, the worse my condition becomes, it’s extraordinary. The more illogical they get, the more stubborn I get. Clearly this is an adverse condition that should make it into the DSM15, or whatever number the expert psychologist collaborators of tyranny are on now.
If my condition were severe claustrophobia (in fact my case is fairly mild, relatively speaking) would I be required by the social rulers to ride in a crowded elevator everyday? Would that not seem to be a cruel punishment of a mentally handicapped individual?
Obviously it’s ridiculous on its face that masks should be required in an outdoor setting. And to pour a little salt on the wound of my ruined birthday plans, my friend is going anyway. Nice.
In the meantime, I’m practicing my routine, for the next time I have to sacrifice to the many tyrants and the hordes of worshippers who love them.
Clerk: Ma’am, you’ll need to wear a mask. Ma’am (me): You mean a face diaper? I’m so sorry, I can’t wear one of those. I suffer from ADS. Clerk: It’s required, ma’am. Me: No, you see, I have an exemption from my therapist, it’s right here, Dr. Freeman, psychological condition, you see it marked right there, ADS. Clerk: It’s not a face diaper, it’s a mask. Doctors wear them all the time, they never have any problems. Me: Oh, but you see, that’s exactly why I didn’t become a brain surgeon. The first time I had to wear one in medical school I had an attack, that’s when I was diagnosed with claustrophobia. They didn’t know about ADS back then. Clerk: What’s ADS? I’ve never heard of it before. Me: Don’t worry, you will, they are popularizing new syndromes all the time. This one’s going to be really huge, my astrologer told me. Clerk: Well I find it offensive when you call a surgical mask a face diaper. Me: That’s because you’re not performing surgery. Clerk: But diapers are for babies. Me: Potato-PoTAto. Where you see a mask, I see a diaper. Can’t you see now what a serious mental condition this is?
ONE: Rework the definition of a “COVID case.” Presently, the CDC absurdly allows doctors to diagnose a person with COVID who has a cough, or chills and fever, and lives in an area where cases are being claimed. No test necessary. Committing these crimes are a walk in the park for public health agencies. And […]
These will be the most honest words I’ve ever spoken or written Honesty is never ever the best policy for children Or adults living as children under tyranny
The ice trays are too full The ice trays are not full enough Next time you’re grounded I’ll give you something to cry about Is that lint on the floor DO IT AGAIN! A bigger list now you’re nearly six Babysit I’m in charge you’re responsible Front and center Claims the parent-mentor
What You don’t like your latest step-mum Ingrate, why can’t you be the bigger person Your boyfriend won’t lend me money again What a loser Never whisper our secrets to a soul We have no secrets
Why should he tell you the truth when he tells no one else anything close to it You are so entitled What makes you so special Basic bitch
I screamed I could not breath! Year after year I yelled I cried I was ignored Now the tyrants insist ALL Stifle breathing with a suffocating, humiliating face diaper Is that very hard for you Now? Seems to me you’ve always played right in line so the air deprivation should work just fine
Somehow I am not able to garner much empathy Why I wonder Bitterness from lack of tenderness maybe
Why should I lift a finger to help you when you never lifted a finger to help me Now right now when I have the power why I wonder do I choose to guard it small and tight beyond any rationality ALL Rather to watch it wither and die than ever have it mistakenly serve you as you are always serving Them OH NO, No NO! Not ever Ever again
I LOVE to serve! I LIVE to serve! What does that feel like, I wonder, when I shift every effort from service to y’all, to place it all right back on me? And the roots of my tiny tree Oh, what glee! No wonder at all why you twisted and maneuvered so very hard way back while you still had the chance my power is so immense
Petty Shallow Vindictive ingrate Spiteful Selfish Self-serving You bet! Congratulations on your very excellent very reciprocal child rearing enough power to watch you all drown with nary a frown
