Surveillance Capitalism Comes With a Side of Atmospheric Tampering

“Papers, please!” was a running joke among Western expats living in Eastern Europe. I wonder how many of them now carry a permanent spying device with great pleasure or perhaps even cheerfully signed on to the digital passport program, first in line, buying into the ploys of safety and convenience.

The Globe was supposed to move in the other direction entirely! We won the Cold War, supposedly, in order to NOT be treated like the perpetual citizen-criminals of Kafka’s stories.

Eastern Europe in 1989 was a surreal place for a young university sophmore voyaging long distances by train alone for the first time. It was at once charming and derelict, welcoming and suspicious, familiar and mysterious.

On the one hand I never felt physically threatened, not even as flaneuse on the city streets at night. On the other hand the decrepid state of the infrastructure whispered danger somehow, because neglect itself is a dark force.

On the one hand the relative poverty was palpable, though my midwest suburban upbringing was middle class, great food variety and consumer goods were far more available. On the other hand their resourcefullness has had a lifelong impact on me and was my first critical look at the innate and corrupting consumerism of my little world.

I didn’t speak the languages and there were very few English speakers. I got by, barely, with French, rudimentary German and smiling, mostly. Americans were considered automatically suspect, so some travelers would claim to be Canadian at any venue not requiring their passports.

Already on the issue of passports I was laughingly naive.

A variety of stamp collecting, or paving the way for the Global digital gulag? It was an especially exciting moment in the expats life when your passport got so full of stamps you had to go pronto to the nearest embassy to get new blank pages stapled into the back of the official document.

Interestingly, while Americans were considered automatically suspect, there was still a sort of cult following that adored America and those who were positively thrilled to meet one, and I made it a point of meeting those unique sorts.

I went on to be a Peace Corps volunteer there a few years later precisely because of my immediate attraction to this region. I felt compelled to know it better and the fact I had the opportunity to spend three more years there, mostly in Czech Republic, but traveling the region extensively, was in fulfillment of my deepest desires and longings at that time.

For all that I loved it, there I also felt my greatest repulsions.

The dystopian Kafkaesque bureaucrocy I experienced was not just fiction. The general acceptance of the populace, while not exactly Stolkholm Sydrome toward their Soviet occupiers, was still a quiet resignation which struck me as particularly pathetic considering their far more astute knowledge of history.

My old passports are the best symbol with which I can try to express my current level of despair seeing my greatest repulsions come to fruition all around me, even as we ‘the Capitalist West’ were the supposed winners of the Cold War.

What did we win? A military industrial complex acting against the best interests of its people. A Corporatocracy run by corrupt public-private partnerships which pretends not to be a fascistic system. Progress that is defined entirely by blind acceptance of anything stamped with the Technocrat seal of approval. Endless paving over of the countryside for roads and minimalls and condos and tourist traps in the ugliest construction ever known to ‘civilized’ man.

Civilization itself has morphed into something totally uncivil, hideous and expanding entirely out of control.

I, like many other intrepid travelers, thought of the passport merely as the modern equivalent of the old travel trunks stamped fashionably with destinations. We thought of them as a collection of strange signs and symbols we’d forever associate with our new memories of far-off places. They were the paper images of our wanderlust we planned to show one day to the grandkids, not knowing they would be holding a digital scrolling device we’d rarely be able to pry from their clutches.

Just a decade ago this was all ranch land

“Once traditional farming systems have been destabilised by the debt-trap of subsidised loans, structural adjustment policies, corporate input regimes, global supply chains, patented seeds and monocultural production, mass migration to cities becomes an inevitability engineered from above. The city thus absorbs the displaced because the countryside has been systematically stripped of opportunities or carved up for infrastructure or real estate schemes.”

What if we’d been given the actual choice, not the strategically invented one, between our current paradigm of progress as a global militarized surveillance state and the ‘stagnation’ where the Eastern Bloc resided for half a century?

This, or this?

Electric prison bars or progress?

Do folks really think WHEN this whole shitshow goes tits-up there will be government funding for the clean-up and restoration of this once beautiful land?

That I don’t want this EVER, for ANYONE makes me some kind of bitter-clinger communist?

“ALA’s annual State of the Air report found that 156.1 million people—46 percent of the population—now live in counties with failing grades for ozone or particle pollution, nearly 25 million higher than last year. Previously less-affected areas, such as Minneapolis, saw significant spikes in unhealthy air days tied to climate-exacerbated wildfires and particle pollution, such as dust.”

Universities funded by public-private partnerships clandestinely tamper with our atmosphere using euphemistically-named scientific jargon like ‘Plume dispersions’ as if this is not mass poisoning?

A fairy tale of citizen safety in the form of acoustic weapons for
city-wide crisis alerts?

https://newbraunfels.gov/m/newsflash/Home/Detail/3762

A hellscape of ‘progress’ in the form of the most ugly, extractive and intrusive landscapes imaginable?

How did ‘WE’ win in this global game that began long before I was born?

What kind of twisted minds call this progress? We have 70 years of documented atmospheric tampering while officialdom continues in denying its impact, which is now going into overdrive while the voices of the livid citizenry, especially those losing their livliehoods in the rural regions, get squashed. Same as it always was.

“Similarly, Gerard Winstanley, writing in the 17th century, envisioned a society in which land and labour were shared as a common good, not commodities to be exploited. His insistence on communal responsibility and ecological justice underscores the radical, enduring potential of agrarian ethics against the logic of extraction and profit.

In this light, the critique of urban-centric development becomes more than an economic critique. It represents a challenge to the very definition of progress. The rejection of the celebratory narrative of neoliberal modernity is a philosophical insistence that a society cannot be judged by its technological prowess while its ecological foundations crumble and its people are alienated from the sources of life.

The modern city, therefore, becomes a battleground where two visions of civilisation confront one another: the dominant model of corporate-led, centrally managed growth and the fragile but persistent ethic of stewardship, locality and shared responsibility. As made clear in my new open access book, The Agrarian Imagination: Development and the Art of the Impossible (available here), genuine human development cannot be measured by urban skylines or GDP figures but by the survival of relationships between people, land and community that give meaning to life.”

https://figshare.com/articles/book/The_Agrarian_Imagination_Development_and_the_Art_of_the_Impossible/30589238?file=59624783

Beneath the Concrete, the Soil Still Whispers – OffGuardian

Texas Weather Modification Report–1964 – Zero Geoengineering

The Silence of Failure

Two parallel stories, one personal from two days ago, one political repeated through time and space.

Individual behaviors mirror political failures, or vice versa.

I went for a haircut at the only somewhat nice hotel in our closest small city. I haven’t had a professional haircut in over five years, it was my birthday treat to myself. My hair was really long and wild. I’d come to like it like that, though I knew it needed some taming. While working, Hubby and I kept professional-looking hairstyles, it was expected. Now that we don’t work for wages anymore, it’s kinda fun to let it all grow out, right before it all falls out in old age.

I told the stylist what I wanted. When I was young they called it the ‘long shag’; these days, according to my Youtube search, it’s called the ‘long wolf cut’. The stylist said she understood what I wanted–long layers. I even specified: “I want the waves and curls to be enhanced.” I was thinking–“Big 80s hair, Baby!” Why not! It’s my birthday celebration style, and that’s what I want!

The sytlist proceeded to chop over 6 inches from my hair, blow it dry to pin straight with the help of 3 stinky products, and then to top it off, tried to convince me that’s what I asked for.

Do you need a special license to notice these are not the same?

When I tried to explain to her that a “medium bob” cut is not the same thing as a “long wolf” cut, she started in on the gaslighting. She was very skilled at it.

Perception management is not the same as taking accountability.

My hair was so damaged, she had no choice. I wasn’t sitting straight and so she had to keep cutting. It was too puffy before, it was too frizzy before, it looks so much better now. “You look so pretty!” She kept repeating this, as I kept repeating, “Yes, it looks good, you are a talented stylist, but it’s not what I asked for!”

“The weakness of every utopia is the same. It demands that men believe what they can see with their own eyes to be false. The slogans change — “justice,” “progress,” “sustainability” — but the pattern does not. Sooner or later, the ration card, the empty shop, or the failed harvest breaks through the illusion. The lie may govern for a season, but reality always delivers the final verdict.”

Perhaps she only knows how to cut one style? Perhaps, and this is probably true, the short bob looks much better on me, objectively speaking, from a professional standard. Perhaps it is healthier looking and shinier and smoother now, all true.

“But you are still missing the point: It’s not what I asked for, and it’s not what I paid you to do!”

She refused to get my point. Flat out refused. I was not trying to get a refund or even a discount. I’d already tipped her, the transaction was complete. I just wanted her to recognize what she’d done.

We circled around her excuses, and I left, saying I’d return in 6 weeks, which obviously I never will.

“But populations are not passive. They respond not with submission, but with defense — of security, autonomy, and cultural identity. Citizens resist when they sense erosion of their freedoms, dilution of their traditions, or manipulation of their choices. The result is a Nash equilibrium: a tense standoff where each actor maximizes its own interest, constrained by the anticipated reaction of the other.”

Such is modern political life as well. Was she modeling the behavior of the politicians she sees on TV? Does she think, because she’s the professional, her opinion on what my hair should look like trumps my own, even though I’m not a child, but am in fact a middle aged woman who knows what she wants, has requested it clearly, and is paying her quite handsomely?

“Each generation births new architects of destiny — technocrats, visionaries, committees — convinced that this time, the blueprint will hold. That this time, the people will follow. That this time, the outcome will be different.

But history is not kind to central planners. Grand designs imposed from above, no matter how noble their language, inevitably collide with the stubborn complexity of human life. People are not data points. Cultures are not spreadsheets. Societies do not bend neatly to metrics and milestones.

Agenda 2030–2050, like earlier initiatives, assumes global consensus is possible, centralized governance will surpass local challenges, and large-scale ecological and social changes can occur without resistance. These are not lessons learned — they are lessons ignored.”

Lessons ignored, like my stylist. Her job is to do what I pay her to do, not to re-interpret my desires. Even when I expressed clearly, in a non-threatening manner, after paying her, that she did not give me the haircut I paid for, she refused to see her culpability. She blamed my hair and my poor posture.

Her insistance that I recognize and declare how pretty it looks is akin to the Soviet withdrawal from Eastern Europe as they were insisting how they deserve to be compensated for all the expertise they brought with their occupying forces and for the infrastructure they built. But of course, not to be held liable for all that they destroyed, lives nor infrastructure.

“Historical Lessons
Attempts to impose totalizing visions from above have repeatedly failed. Examples include:
• The fall of Robespierre (Boudoiseau, 2003) during the French Revolution (Britannica, 2003c).
• The collapse of Ceaușescu’s regime in Romania (Britannica, 2003b).
• The Nazi pursuit of Lebensraum (Britannica, 2003l), which ended in destruction.
• Mao’s Great Leap Forward (Britannica, 2003e) and the Cultural Revolution (Lieberthal, 2003), which caused massive human suffering. Each case shows that utopias enforced by elites end in failure, often violently.”

“Socially, the plan underestimates resistance. People do not change because a summit declares it. Habits are resilient. Traditions run deep. When transformation is mandated rather than chosen, it breeds resentment, not renewal.”

The choices and desires of those paying for services must necessarily be a higher priority than that of those performing the services. That includes politicians, and hairstylists.

“4. Restructuring of Daily Life
From how we travel to what we eat, the Agenda seeks to reshape daily habits in the name of sustainability. But these are not abstract metrics — they are intimate choices. Mobility restrictions, dietary mandates, and housing redesigns touch the core of personal freedom. The assumption that populations will comply quietly with lifestyle engineering is not just naive — it is politically combustible.”

“State incentives — subsidies, surveillance, social scoring — aim to steer behavior. But when these incentives clash with core values like freedom, identity, and sovereignty, they lose traction. Compliance becomes brittle. Trust erodes.”

I can’t help but wonder if her other clients have always bowed to her bullying style of perception management? Does she insist all her clients praise her work, whether or not they really liked the results?

Just grin and bear it, everyone?

“The Nash equilibrium here is not stable. It is volatile, held together by mutual constraint rather than mutual agreement. Elites cannot push too far without triggering rebellion. Populations cannot fully disengage without risking exclusion or punishment.
Populations remain bound to the system because withdrawal carries a price — exclusion, punishment, loss of rights. The equilibrium holds only so long as resistance is isolated. But once enough people disengage together, the balance shifts: punishment loses its sting, and the system itself begins to collapse.”

I suppose only time will tell the truth. Eventually.
If I ever run into that hairstylist next time I’m at the hotel I’m inclined to say: “I’m fine with it, it might even grow back before it all falls out. But just for the record, not everyone wants to look like your vision of the sleek middle-aged professional. Some of us have outgrown that look.”

“Agenda 2030–2050 treats the human species as a single actor, capable of coordinated transformation. But humanity is not a monolith. It is a constellation of cultures, histories, and identities. The anthropogenic hypothesis, when stripped of nuance, becomes a justification for centralized control — see here — a mandate for elites to redesign society in the name of planetary health — see here.
This is where the danger lies. When ecological urgency overrides democratic process, when sustainability becomes a pretext for surveillance, when global goals erase local voices — the result is not cooperation, but coercion.”

Between Intrepid and Genteel

From Kenya to Llano, Berit pictured with Kath, visiting from the UK

Hunters often get a bad rap and it’s not always for good reason. I had a chance to learn something about this on a recent trip to the Texas Hill Country where I was led to question the difference between a hunter and a poacher.

Before assuming this is a niche topic and of little interest to the vast majority of folks whom are neither hunters nor poachers, consider it’s a matter of philosophy as well, along with colonialism, globalism, human nature and modern life.

A wall of hunting ‘trophies’ not uncommon in Texas homes.

Mostly they have much in common, the hunter and the poacher. There is a similar skillset, clearly, but one I know nothing about, so I’ll leave that to the hobbyists and professionals. As strictly an occassional observer I imagine it to require more patience than I’ve ever mustered, more tenacity than most and more courage than the vast majority.

We might say the poacher is lawless and greedy and violent, and in some cases that may well be true. It may also be true that some hunters share such qualities as well.

But again, I’m coming to this as a complete outsider to their world, strictly an observer, and occasionally a beneficiary.

The differences between the hunter and the poacher must lie somewhere between intrepid and genteel, I figure. And so it is most apropos that I should think of it with a hunter who fits the bill for both adjectives.

Our hunter in question, Berit, at her home in Llano, Texas

I’d never have taken this fair, mild-mannered, small and slender woman as a big game hunter, that’s for sure, and I suspect that made her something of an attraction at her home in Kenya, kind of like a pretty little sparrow among bulls. Though looking at the full and adventurous life she’s led, we mustn’t think a sparrow at anyone’s mercy.

A beautiful display of African artefacts collected during their time there.

I met her with her second husband, an avid big game hunter, but her first husband was a professional one.  They had a business together leading safaris until the laws were changed in an instant, hunting banned by the government, their livelihood lost.

Neither were Americans, but he had a prospect in Texas. So, with young children in tow, they moved to the Hill Country, to Llano, and started anew.

That was in 1977. It is still illegal to hunt in Kenya.

What’s more interesting, Kenya has remained on the fast track ever since, to full-tilt modernization. They have been an international fore-runner for all the Global Village United Nations WEF grand schemes for their ideal Future: ESG scores, vaccines, digital IDs, carbon credits.

That’s the great gift of compliance. Or, as the old adage goes, “Give the devil a finger . . .”

“Esc’s analysis, backed by meticulous documentation, sets the stage for understanding a system already operational, where resistance is economically suicidal and socially ostracized. Esc details how development programs in nations like Kenya test governance technologies—digital IDs, carbon credits—later exported to the West, ensuring global compliance under the guise of progress. The Earth Charter, as esc notes, serves as a global constitution, subordinating individual rights to expert-defined collective responsibilities, a theme echoed in The Invisible Empire’s critique of sustainability metrics overriding democratic will. We need to recognize this system before the window for democratic resistance closes, as each institutional capture—from ESG compliance to AI-driven surveillance—tightens the web.”
The Complete Architecture – by esc

“For 130 years, a coordinated network of institutions has been systematically replicating the same control structure across every domain of human life – from healthcare to education, from banking to environmental policy. This structure, originally perfected in British banking, creates the appearance of local autonomy while concentrating ultimate decision-making power at higher levels run by credentialed experts.
The breakthrough came when science claimed moral authority over all aspects of human experience through the 1986 Venice Declaration, positioning scientific expertise not just as informing ethical decisions, but as the source of ethics itself. This created the intellectual foundation for what we now see operational: a system where questioning expert consensus isn’t just wrong – it’s scientifically illiterate, ethically irresponsible, and potentially pathological.”

How close is your country’s hunting policy to Kenya’s?
Is hunting policy about creating the lines between hunter and poacher, or obscuring them? Because, if everything is forbidden except to a tiny few, aren’t we pretty much all destined to become poachers?

“And the pity is that it will do nothing for the wildlife, controlled licensed hunting has never been a threat to wildlife. When elephant hunting was closed a few years ago, I wrote to the East African Standard and pointed out that poaching was the problem, not licensed hunting, and that if poaching were not stopped, the elephants would disappear anyway, whether licensed hunting were allowed or not. Unfortunately I have been proved right, and since that time the elephants have been exterminated all over large areas of Kenya. For this licensed hunting can in no way be blames, as legal hunting of elephants was closed.” Finn, Berit’s husband

Should hunting be allowed in Kenya? | davidlansing.com

“When I was in Kenya a few years ago I stayed on the edge of the plateau overlooking the Mara. About a mile away one night, a leopard broke into a Maasai boma and killed a cow. The game officials came by two days later, photographed the pug marks on the ground and the carcasses, payed the elder a pittance for his loss, reminded them that they were forbidden to kill the leopard, and disappeared. A couple of nights later, it happened again. So they staked out a goat and speared the leopard to death and buried him. That same leopard could have brought in tens of thousands of dollars in fees to Kenya and the local economy – now it’s a skeleton. When the wild game is seen only as a nuisance and is not allowed to pay its own way in a crowded land, it will always end like that.”

To be continued . . .

Feel free to chime in below!

Llano, Texas May 2025

Stress Test USA: Failed!

I can relate, I fail them all the time. But that’s not this post.

Here we have two excellent essays that make me think, if this is the new level of social programming, I finally might abide!

Can they teach this in the schools? I might even go back to teaching! (Ok, let’s not exaggerate. We prefer our wee homestead life, even through the weather disasters, great many failures and physical pain.)

I’ve selected my favorite bits, there’s much more to appreciate on each of these Substacks, just follow the links.

The Coward’s Bargain: How We Taught a Generation To Live In Fear by Josh Stylman

“This wasn’t an accident or an overreaction. This was a stress test of how quickly a free society could be transformed into something unrecognizable, and we failed spectacularly. Anyone who actually followed the science understood the only pandemic was one of cowardice. Worse, most people didn’t even notice we were being tested. They thought they were just “following the science”—never mind that the data kept changing to match the politics, or that questioning anything had somehow become heretical.
The beautiful thing about this system is that it’s self-sustaining. Once you’ve participated in the mob mentality, once you’ve policed your neighbors and canceled your friends and stayed silent when you should have spoken up, you become invested in maintaining the fiction that you were right all along. Admitting you were wrong isn’t just embarrassing—it’s an admission that you participated in something monstrous. So instead, you double down. You disappear when confronted with inconvenient facts.

Raising Prisoners
And this brings us back to the children. They’re watching all of this. But more than that—they’re growing up inside this surveillance infrastructure from birth. The Stasi’s victims at least had some years of normal psychological development before the surveillance state kicked in. These kids never get that. They’re born into a world where every thought might be public, every mistake permanent, every unpopular opinion potentially life-destroying.
The psychological impact is devastating. Research shows that children who grow up under constant surveillance—even well-meaning parental surveillance—show higher rates of anxiety, depression, and what psychologists call “learned helplessness.” They never develop internal locus of control because they never get to make real choices with real consequences. But this goes far deeper than helicopter parenting.
The ability to hold unpopular opinions, to think through problems independently, to risk being wrong—these aren’t just nice-to-haves. They’re core to psychological maturity. When you eliminate those possibilities, you don’t just get more compliant people; you get people who literally can’t think for themselves anymore. They outsource their judgment to the crowd because they never developed their own.”

The COVID Conformity Test
This is how totalitarian thinking takes root—not through jackbooted thugs, but through a million small acts of self-censorship. When a venture capitalist whispers his concerns about immigration policy like he’s confessing to a thought crime. When successful professionals agree with dissenting views privately but would never defend them publicly. When speaking obvious truths becomes an act of courage rather than basic citizenship.
Orwell understood this perfectly. In 1984, the Party’s greatest achievement wasn’t forcing people to say things they didn’t believe—it was making them afraid to believe things they weren’t supposed to say. “The Party seeks power entirely for its own sake,” O’Brien explains to Winston. “We are not interested in the good of others; we are interested solely in power.” But the real genius was making citizens complicit in their own oppression, turning everyone into both prisoner and guard.”

Neutralization: How Bureaucracies Silence Dissent Through Legal Fuses and Narrative Control by Luc Lelievre

Institutional power rarely reveals its full mechanics in one stroke. Instead, it unfolds in sequences—calculated, procedural, and often cloaked in the language of neutrality. Neutralization, the fourth installment in Luc Lelièvre’s Unbekoming series, dissects this final movement in the choreography of bureaucratic suppression. Building on prior analyses—Heresy, which outlined how dissent is ideologically framed as deviant; Suppression, which explored institutional mechanisms of exclusion; and Omission, which detailed the structural design behind silencing—this essay turns its attention to the silent sophistication of neutralization: the use of legal fuses, narrative gatekeepers, and administrative dead-ends to reroute dissent and erase its public trace.

7. Administrative Gaslighting and the “Fuse Effect”: When Bureaucracy Becomes Theatre

Modern bureaucracies rarely operate through overt acts of repression. Instead, their preferred mode of silencing is procedural — a form of administrative gaslighting that cloaks itself in language of due process while subtly eroding the dissident’s credibility. This technique is not accidental; it is designed.

One illustrative method is what could be termed the “fuse effect”: low-visibility actors within the institutional machinery are positioned to execute decisions that carry legal or symbolic consequences, thus absorbing the potential fallout. These operatives — often legal clerks, junior lawyers, or regional representatives — function as buffers. When the dissident challenges a structural injustice, it is these intermediaries who respond, allowing higher-level decision-makers to remain untouched by controversy. The system insulates itself from reputational risk while continuing its work of marginalization.

But when these “fuses” begin to fail — either through overreach or exposure — institutions escalate. They deploy higher-profile agents, such as communications directors or legal executives, who are tasked with closing the file definitively. In my own case, the surprising intervention of a top-level official from a legal commission — someone with no adjudicative mandate — reveals just how far the institution was willing to go to protect the official narrative. Rather than engage the constitutional merits of my claim, it chose to obscure them through authority signaling and symbolic closure.

This bureaucratic theatre plays out under the guise of objectivity. But for those of us who have documented each step, the pattern is unmistakable: delegitimize the voice, dilute the argument, displace responsibility. These are not failures of oversight; they are evidence of design.

The question, then, is no longer whether the dissident is “right” or “wrong” by institutional standards. It is whether he can endure — and expose — the machinery that seeks to erase him. In that sense, the public record becomes not only a site of resistance, but a form of protection.

8. Conclusion: Toward a Reckoning

Millennial Pep Talk

The Millennial Gardner gave a great little pep talk at the end of this confessional concerning his myriad gardening mistakes over the years. There should be more such vids as this. The positivity movement is dead, in my opinion, though MG is still a devoted adherent.

Positivity–Capitalism couldn’t survive without it!

He’s not yet reached the ripe age of bitterness. He thinks he will be able to continuously throw money at the problem, and I rather doubt that’s a viable long-term solution. I hope I’m wrong.

But overall I really appreciate his rejection of the typical appraoch to problems today: The Head in the Sand vs The Pie in the Sky. That’s what I see most often, and on that I think he’d agree with me.

So, more power to him!

We all need a pep talk now and then and Millennials especially it seems to me are inheriting the ends of the Shitshow and are expected to pull it all together again after the wrecking ball.

Hardly a lesson in equity, or perhaps the best lesson that could be.

The gist of his little pep talk is valid–anyone who excels at anything worthwhile has experienced, and learned from, the greatest teacher of all–Failure.

It’s not nice or pleasant or fun or comfortable to learn the lessons of failure. And we live in a culture addicted to nice and pleasant and fun and comfortable.

Not really a conducive atmosphere for learning.

Yet, sometimes the results of the lessons are far more pleasant than we might expect. Like, in my case, my greatest lesson in gardening so far has been flowers.

Flowers and ‘weeds’.

I had no idea the delight they offer when I first started gardening and I made little room for them in my garden, whether the classic garden cultivars or the wild weeds who long to make themselves welcomed. HUGE mistake!

I’ve been working on correcting that for many years now, and it’s absolutely paid off in myriad forms: more bees, more joy, more pleasure, more beauty, more sense of wonder.

The garden feels like less of a chore and more of a privilege with every bloom. The attraction is magnetic, to insects, to birds, to me. I observe better, I take more time, I allow my natural esthetic sense to align with the food crops and converge into a very satisfying balance of food and fancy.

Somehow, whether in my heart, or soul, or imagination, co-mingling the wild in with the crops has engaged me in a way that is a continual wellspring of curiousity and desire, even in the worst of times.

The rapture of emergent colors, the allure of fragrance on the breeze, the dance of the petals and the delight of the bees, I think what my early garden experience was missing was in fact the essence of ME. Because you don’t get that from books.

Learn from our failures dear ones, that’s why we tell y’all about them. Don’t let them dim your spirits, but use them in good faith, and find a way.

Myth, Fantasy, AI

Strange days, indeed. I saw this image on a Youtube channel I listen to just for background music while I’m working. Though I do quite like some of it, I suspect it’s all AI-driven. So, the music is not played by musicians, the image is not the real picture of a beautiful personal library that exists in the actual world, that would be my fantasy library, in my own dream home.

I never expected the strangeness of life to increase with age. I expected the exact opposite in fact. When I was a child watching TV after school–the Mickey Mouse Club, Zoom, Bugs Bunny and Friends–I knew, even as a small child, that what I saw on TV was a fantasy world. Similar to when kids are watching a puppet show, they see a performance in front of them on a stage while they sit in the audience. Clearly pretend, even to a child.

It was not the real world where Mom went to work and my sister and I went to school, where we were learning real things about the real world.

That’s what I thought. As I teen I read a lot, but I was not attracted to most pop fiction, and not to the sci-fi/fantasy genre at all. I feel lucky to have grown up with many avid readers in the family, though we rarely read the same things.

It was my pragmatic side perhaps that made me believe that fantasy was for the children’s world and once we left childhood those things would be left behind as life got more real.

Of course I can witness now very clearly the error of my naive thinking, or lack of realistic foresight, or practical knowdedge of human nature, or the patterns of civilzations rises and falls, or whatever. I was wrong. Adults also prefer a fantasy-based reality, or have come to prefer one in the last generations.

Where we used to play grown-up as kids, now we play kids as grown-ups. Our politics read like old B-movie plots. Our actors look like cyborgs. Our ‘elites’ want us ingesting lab-concocted chemicals so badly they inject them into everything imaginable, from seeds, to every manner of foods, to the air and water and soil.

And now it seems the takeover of illusion over reality is nearly complete, as folks allow AI to conquer their minds. Engulfed in Total Immersive Illusion seems to be the end goal.

I had to ask Hubby if he thought the library in the image was AI generated. “Definitely AI” he replied after gazing at it for a split second.

I keep staring at it, imagining myself lounging on the couch. There are 4 or 5 little stacks of books around me, just 3 or 4 high each one, but I keep getting up to get another, and then another. So many books, so little time! The ladders to the upper stacks give me just enough exercise so my legs don’t cramp up and there’s an adjoining little breakfast nook, not visible here of course, where I have stashed a simple but elegant array of snacks–some pistachios and some smoked salmon and capers on crackers and a carafe of fruity, refreshing homemade sangria.

Back to the real world. It’s still right here. Here, where I have hundreds of books with no stacks for them. I got tired finally of the clutter of ugly book shelves in our tiny space and packed the vast majority of them into boxes where they sit stacked shoulder-height waiting . . .

Waiting perhaps for AI to come and build them a new home. Kind of like in the hugely popular TV program for adults of the 60s ‘I Dream of Jeannie’ who will rise out of the bottle and with the swing of her ponytail and nod of her head, grant us all our wishes.

Jeannie was so much better than AI though, she would never have used her powers for evil, that’s for sure. She was like the Mother Theresa of Genies. She was like the Easter Bunny who would sneak you chocolate eggs when you were in a Timeout because you pulled your sisters hair in order to be first to find the plastic egg, which was filled with coins, sometimes even a dollar. Not that you wouldn’t have found it first anyway, the hair pulling was just an extra bonus. Jeannie didn’t judge.

“Robot priests can recite prayers, perform funerals, and even comfort those experiencing a spiritual crisis.”

What do y’all think: Has the fantasy-based reality gone too far for your taste?

The Pleasure Principle

A post for Valentine’s Day, something I’ve never done before, as far as I recall.

I imagine it as an Ode to Narcissus, which is my own personal meaning attached to this holiday.  Through the Greek myth we are told that Narcissus fell in love with his reflection in a pool of water and up to modern times there are myriad explorations for what that represents.

The most well-known today, coming from Wiki:

The myth had a decided influence on English Victorian homoerotic culture, via André Gide‘s study of the myth, Le Traité du Narcisse (‘The Treatise of the Narcissus’, 1891), and the only novel by Oscar WildeThe Picture of Dorian Gray.

Most often in our modern era it’s considered a negative thing—a forsaking of the beloved or even God, or the destructive self-love of a tyrannical ego, or the folly of youth.

Echo and Narcissus, oil on canvas by Nicolas Poussin, 1627 (Louvre, Paris)

But for myself, I imagine its original intent as being more pure and innocent.  I don’t imagine the Greek myths were to be taken as literal stories of living people and Gods, but rather the mysteries and processes of Nature.

Eros is Cupid, but I imagine that what’s being unveiled between these 3 figures is depicting the process, the mystery, the intimate and delicate balance with Cupid (Eros) manifesting through  Narcissus’ love of beauty and pleasure.   

That something bigger than we mere mortals is occurring when we fall in love, sometimes even against our own will, awakens and evokes the spirit of Eros.  A natural force so powerful we think of it as a drug, capable of making us behave in uncharacteristic, undesirable and even dangerous ways.

Narcissus is in love with love, which is to say, in love with life.

In the water, a classic symbol of emotion, he truly saw himself in the spirit of divine love.  

The latest modern remaking of The Picture of Dorian Gray.

What came after that initial myth were the modern cultural assaults and chronic misunderstandings cursing him with egoism, arrogance, selfishness, cruelty, taken to the extremes of self-absorption, self-loathing and eventually self-destruction, as in The Picture of Dorian Gray.  Eros as uncontrolled self-obsession.

My belief is that to fall in love with anything, or anyone, is to fall in love with oneself; that is, an aspect of one’s own reflection.  Just as Narcissus is our first flower to appear in spring (it’s blooming right now in fact) Narcissus symbolizes the coming reawakening of all our natural pleasures as spring approaches and life is renewed.  

Before the Easter ritual of fecundity, first the pair must meet, and fall in love.

In celebrating the courting rituals, it’s the one holiday that’s not considered a family affair, and conjures an atypical respect for intimacy in our mass-loving modern culture.

To me it is a holiday of guilty pleasures, quirky pursuits, strange beliefs and peculiar tastes. 

What’s your pleasure?  Do you indulge it enough?  Or perhaps, too much?  Narcissus wants to know!

Do you prefer the cake or the icing?

Immediate reward or delayed gratification?

Are you the driver or the passenger?  

Is ‘fun’ the same as pleasure?  

Is your pleasure a particpatory adventure, or to be delivered on a silver tray?  

Active or passive?

Photography or painting? Reading or writing? Listening or singing?Watching or playing? Cooking or eating?  Looking or being seen?

Is there one without the other?  Is there the other without the one?

A personal story of guilty pleasures.

A fine restaurant, with a fine atmosphere, and fine company, is my guiltiest pleasure of all.  I’d spend lavishly without reserve, relish with abandon, obsess over every detail, waste hours, or weekends without a second thought.  Dionysus takes the reigns when I experience such exquisite care, such regard for pleasure and beauty, I’m easily swept away.  (And unfortunately, just as easily disappointed.). 

Hubby did not know that about me.  How could he possibly, he’d only known me a week or so.

Perhaps it’s not such an unusual thing, considering the love affair with food that’s shared across seemingly all cultures, if not always appreciated to the same degree with all people.

I’ll forever cherish the singular date when Hubby won me over, especially because I know the chances of something remotely similar ever happening again are microscopic.  It was one of those one in a million evolutionary occurrences, kind of like the Big Bang.  

As we all know, it just takes one miracle.

He planned it to the letter—chose the best restaurant, actually went there in advance to choose the best table overlooking the water, spoke to the chef personally, tipped the maitre’d in advance.

Who does that?  I mean, I would probably, but who else?  Only in the movies, right?

It wasn’t on Valentine’s Day, there was no chocolate or champagne.  But I did drink too much, and he swiftly transformed into my white knight on a scooter.  He was the crafter of the most perfectly romantic night of my life.  And romantic is not something he’s ever aspired to, by any standards, and by his own admission. 

Like I said, just one miracle. Perhaps a little help from Cupid?

I was ho-hum before that.  Not that he wasn’t a good catch, of course.  Certainly loads of divorced 30-something women are attracted to a man who finds it to be bragging material that his belongings fit into a backpack with few aspirations besides spending half the year in a hammock on a Thai beach.

We had a lot in common, as in we were both fairly uncommon vagabonds.  Not trust-fund kids or military brats, that was most common in the ex-pat scenes in those days.  We worked and scrimped and hustled and snubbed our noses at such privilege, when we could afford to.  Otherwise we enjoyed their parties and their company and their contacts.

We met at one such fancy affair, and he wasn’t my type, that’s how I saw it in the moment.  Not because of any of those previously mentioned assets, those I actually found pretty charming, especially that he would be bragging on them with a woman he’d just met.  I was far more impressed with his stories of rugged adventure than any of other’s comfort and privilege.

Not our photo, though we do have great ones, somewhere. This one is from kingscup.com

But I was just barely out of another failed relationship; I just wasn’t on the market, according to me. 

He perceived otherwise.  I dare say, I have never been pursued with such seemingly carefree precision.  He is/was not ever a lady’s man, had less relationship experience than me, and was not there looking for love.

It didn’t help that my just-failed relationship was with a photographer, and that he was there as another photographer’s assistant.  Of course I noticed he was fit and handsome and friendly and funny.  I imagined we could become friends, maybe even friends with benefits.  My imagination stopped there.

This is a stock photo, the resorts we stayed in were even more glorious.

We bumped into each other often, as would be expected, since we were all covering the Phuket King’s Cup Regatta.  They had us all staying in top resorts, sailing the seas by day and attending parties every night.  It was amazing and overwhelming and so deliciously extravagant and foreign. 

Even under such conditions, he was able to corral my attentions, redirect my intentions, and totally capture my life’s trajectory (as dismal as that was looking at the time considering I was living in an old, drafty single-wide in my dad’s trailer park in Mena, Arkansas.)

Though I’m sure he won’t admit it and questions who was doing the seducing, I will still insist, it surely wasn’t me.  Narcissus, perhaps? 

We are told it’s human nature to pursue pleasure and to recoil from pain.  But all around us we have plenty of evidence that’s not the case at all.  In honest observation it looks much more true that pain and pleasure have a very mysterious relationship that is quite unique to each individual.  

I personally will not allow the Dorian Gray’s of the world to eternally spoil the beauty of Narcissus, so I celebrate Valentine’s Day as a gateway into the new season’s promise of pleasure.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the Lovers of Love, Beauty, Pleasure and Life!

Starting From Scratch

After my little lecture at the end of the last post about teaching the younger generations real life skills I was listening to an interview that gave a bit more perspective to that personal plea.

It’s with a 60 year old grandma trying to do exactly that on YouTube, and she’s got over a million subscribers, a huge website and a new cookbook. She is bursting with passion and purpose, but it’s well-tempered by her realization that in America, for most folks, we still have a very long way to go.

Folks are intimidated, she insists. And for those of us who have been doing it for the last decade already, we have a tendency to forget where we came from.

She is of the rare breeds who grew up cooking and eating this way, whereas her first students were her friends, who couldn’t even imagine making homemade bread at the time, let alone mastering sourdough. They never bought a whole chicken before, let alone broke the carcass down for a nutritious bone broth. They were not accustomed to shopping on a budget, or to filling their pantries with essentials for emergencies.

She really is the ‘Starting From Scratch’ guru, with the patience, positivity and personality it takes to succeed in such a position.

In a recent Wise Traditions interview, “Why Cooking Traditional Foods From Scratch Is Worth It”:

“Do you get overwhelmed thinking about making sourdough bread from scratch? Or homemade broths and soups? Mary Bryant Shrader of Mary’s Nest is a YouTuber and educator who has a knack for demonstrating how simple (and tasty and economical) traditional cooking can be! Today, she shares some of her own story (including successes and failures along the way) of how she got into becoming a “modern kitchen pioneer”. She goes over the biggest hurdles we face (like feeling too busy or too intimidated to get started), how to overcome them, and even what inspires her to keep going with traditional food cooking.”
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wise-traditions/id1072618042?i=1000681385872

Her YT channel has loads of content, not all for beginners either. Here’s an intriguing one I plan to watch:
The 10 Best Survival Foods for your prepper pantry

If you’re one of those who believe the commercial hype, and think that all food is the same, and what nutrition you aren’t getting from your junk food diet is no big deal, because you take vitamins and supplements, here’s the really bad news from someone who once thought along similar lines, and paid dearly for those mistakes through his poor health at a relatively young age. Something we are witnessing far too often in this country.

Unlike our above super upbeat, positive Granny, Agent is snarky and sometimes downright intolerant—so, much more my style—except he doesn’t like to cook, poor fella.😆

“I get a lot of emails and questions about if a specific product is good to take – in my opinion it is all poison because nutrients come from clean foods, not bottles, but I don’t want you to take my word for it, I want you to know how to find out for yourself so nobody can ever dupe you again. With that being said, today I am going to show you how you can easily learn about any chemical in any product and its health effects, real safety data and more. You can then use the information you found to make an informed decision and never have to rely on a podcaster, famous doctor or Substack author again.”

Become your own master of health! YES, that’s the ticket!

“A Manufacturers Safety Data Sheet (MSDS or SDS) is the easiest way to get real information because, while Google can selectively show you search results to fit an agenda, and while doctors-turned-online-show hosts can recommend a product they are making a kickback off of, the MSDS can’t lie. The reason is because the manufacturer of the chemical must present honest information to avoid being sued out of existence by those who purchase their product and use it to manufacture supplements to sell to the plebs.”

He has a series of articles breaking down the reality of America’s most commonly used vitamins and supplements. You probably already know that some of the chemicals Americans consume routinely are banned in other countries. And A LOT of it comes from China and other far off places where we have little to no oversight.

Not that government oversight is on our side, at all! They pretend to be on our side, only to make more absurd and expensive regulations to ‘solve’ the problems they previously created.

This is a home kitchen, seriously?
🤪

As an example here’s a ‘solution’ of several states that is a complete non-solution for those who don’t like to cook and can’t afford to out every meal, yet are tired of the grocery store ready-meal options.

Micro enterprise Home Kitchen Operation (MEHKO), a way for the government to further interfere in your kitchen and your health.

Frequently Asked Questions — The COOK Alliance

How do you get a MEHKO permit?
1. Pass a Food Protection Manager Certification exam.
2. Submit your application, including your menu and a Standard Operating Procedures (SOP) form.
3. Pay the permit fee.
4. Schedule and pass a home inspection.

And once you do all that, you still cannot serve the most nutritious meals, because they are on the ‘dangerous’ list (with oysters!) including all raw milk products, smoked or cured products, any food that has been vacuum-sealed, and even homemade ice cream. So. Not. A. Solution.

But let’s at least try to end on a positive note today!

If you have plenty of money, live in a popular urban environment, frequent the very best grocery stores, but don’t like cooking, you have plenty of options available for healthy choices these days, because the ‘free market’ has answered the call and made available all kinds of healthy and natural pre-made meals.

If you live anywhere else in America, or are feeling the economic pinch as we are here, well . . .

May this Season’s Greetings lead to new paths of traditional healthy eating for you and your family!

Our Christmas watermelon—not exactly seasonal, but still pretty tasty!
Bubba, “But I’m helping, really!” 😆

Heaven in Hell

I will be accused of being hyperbolic. Melodramatic. Perhaps I complain too much. Might my standards be too high?

It’s not that bad, they will say, or think. You still have a house and a husband and a relatively stable life. Just think of those miserable folks in . . . And all those who . . . And don’t forget the starving children in . . .

All over the place. Like, seriously, all over the god-damned place, and still everywhere, also, simultaneously, I hear such minimizing, avoidance, redirecting, marginalizing ‘advice’ from those high on their horses.

So if my experience, this time, is not as hellish as the last time, or as his or her or their experiences, on our vast continuum of hellishness, I should just move on. Get over it.

No matter how hard it gets, the social contract requires you stay positive, hopeful, forever gazing over the rainbow at the future potential for success, and perpetually focused on the life lesson.

It’s not hard, it’s challenging. It’s not a problem, it’s an opportunity. It’s not theft, it’s redistribution. It’s not a real lie, it’s a lie of omission. It’s not a failure, it’s a stepping stone. You’re not beat, you’re regrouping.

I still get counseled from others, unwanted advice (well-meaning I’m sure in their own minds) on how to see the bright side.

As if I don’t know how to do it! I was born and raised painting a silver lining on every cloud. I’m American, we’ve written nearly every script on this bullshit.

But, I grew up and got over it.

I was also a teacher for 20 years and sometimes I was actually a good one. Ok, maybe only occasionally, but that counts.

When I was good it was because I was tough, but fair. Not nice. Not compromising. Not lenient or understanding. Not painting rosy pictures or being sweet and kind.

And in such moments of lucidity it became very obvious to me that most students fail due to one thing: unrealistic expectations.

Our culture is saturated with them. Because it’s really, really good for business.

Lots of students sincerely wanted to learn the foreign language I was trying to teach them, and certainly had the smarts to do so because it’s not difficult, even a child can do it. And almost always does!

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on Pexels.com

But they bought the hype of some advertisement or second hand story from a braggart who swears anyone can learn a language in three months by listening to tapes on their work commute. They bought the expectation the process would be smooth sailing all the way.

They are a lot like these types who are constantly insisting everyone see the bright side of every situation. They’re all like mood police. Like moms who make kids ‘kiss and make up’ while they’re still seething inside. Emotional bullying based on unreasonable expectations. It reminds me of an awful photo I once saw of a child model posing for the camera with a forced smile on her face though her eyes were red and puffy from crying.

So, with all that out of the way, this summer has SUCKED for me.

There, I’ve said it. I haven’t written a Homestead Happenings in months in order to avoid having to try to make it palatable for readers. I know how to paint the silver lining on it. But, it also irritates me that those are the only kinds of stories we’re allowed to tell in mixed company. If there’s not some triumph over adversity, keep it to yourself.

If there’s not gratitude somewhere for the gift of life, no one wants to hear it. Stop whining. Get over it. Make lemonade.

I know. I can hear it.

The Angel Made Me Do It

Dare to dream!

If there’s a will there’s a way!

These used to be my favorite clichés growing up. I miss that sometimes now that I’m growing old and cynical. I miss that crazy big picture dreaming like we do as kids with seemingly the expanse of the world and infinite days ahead of us. My mom really did often repeat that we could do or be anything we wanted.

Prima ballerina even though you’re short and curvy? Sure, why not!

I never really believed it, but I do agree that to dream big is a good thing, and not just for kids. The older we get though, the more that critic steps in even before his queue, the inner voice of impossibility. A necessary ally, no doubt, in his strict adherence to the practical and well-tested norms.

Let’s call him Jack, from another of the well-worn clichés, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

What if we put Jack in the box for now, where he prefers to be anyway, and we enjoyed some precious time without him?

It seems like a lot of folks have dreams they would call big that center around money. They want a new house, for example. And that’s true for me, too, I would like a new house.

But I think of that as a small dream. When we first moved here we didn’t expect we’d stay in this house. It’s not where we would choose to have a house on this property, and it’s not the kind of house we would choose as far as style either. We thought we could make this one into a ‘project house’ where we did all our work and hobbies, then we could have another small one more suited to us, off the road, on a more picturesque part of the property with views all around.

Then after making so many improvements over the years and spending so much time, money, energy on the surroundings, we downsized that dream. Jack won that one, as usual.

But that doesn’t mean he’ll always win, right? Back in the box he goes!

Dream BIG! It’s not that easy. I used to have lots of big dreams and many of them I wrote down and some of them have come to pass. At least partially.

Like, I always said I wanted a small house on a big piece of land. I just had no idea that would be in rural Texas, or there would be the whole menagerie attached. I was thinking more like an acre in Corsica or Guadeloupe overlooking the sea.

Guadeloupe, French West Indies 1997

Sometimes I dream we could still do that if we really wanted. But, Jack doesn’t have to bother getting out of his box for that one, that’s how little chance of it there is.

But, what if we could bring some of what I love about that dream into this dream we’re already creating?

A spring-fed pond, that would be a good start. No, make that a lake!

There are properties all around us that may soon be for sale. We’d buy them all!

And then what? (Back in the box, Jack!)

I heard a friend talk behind my back once a few years ago when she first visited here. Directed at her hubby, as we were driving them in the tractor to their lodging in the still-unfinished cabin we built, she said, “Why would anyone need so much property?”

I didn’t, but wanted to say, “But, you see, but we would have, could have, SO much more!” Why not?!

Hubby used to joke about our paltry 50 acres, “In Texas, 50 acres buys you a front yard.”

It’s not a matter of need, obviously. How much land does the Queen of England own?

It’s not even about what one might accomplish with a few hundred (or a few thousand) acres. I don’t imagine we’d aim to accomplish much at all. Jack would want to put a name on it of course—a nature preserve, or a dude ranch, or a future botanical garden, or a (God forbid!) another of the popular ATV parks.

I think in my biggest dream I’d invite some cherished friends to our rural sanctuary, with the spring fed pond (lake!) and wooded paths strewn with pine needles, and secret herb gardens, where we’d enjoy some homemade wine on a fine pergola made of bamboo watching the birds . . .

And the chemtrails.

Fuck you, Jack!