Education’s Agenda Pushers

The Machiavellian tactic of working both sides against the middle, coupled with the old Chinese adage ‘if you want to defeat your enemy, raise their children’ are at work in lock-step today on the global stage like a well-groomed chorus line.

Hundreds of thousands of average individuals around the world, like me, like those I link every week, like Terry in Ireland, who are around the world trying to push back against these obvious agendas, like the Climate Change hoax, but these technocrats have the whole wide world in their hands.

The new normal, from Terry’s site.

 

Terry: “This website is intended to bring public awareness to the ongoing and decades in development global climate engineering operations which have long since rendered natural weather a thing of the distant past. Every day around the world there are dozens of companies conducting hundreds of weather modification programs and altering global weather patterns, yet the vast majority of the general public have no idea such Godlike capabilities even exist. Methods being used range from conventional cloud seeding to advanced EMF and Laser cloud creation technologies. This is the commercial side of climate engineering, there is then the clandestine side of global operations.” Climate change agenda.com

http://153news.net/watch_video.php?v=4A673KBOHA72

The scoundrels display themselves and their nefarious generations-long plots right out in the light of day for anyone to see, that’s how confident they are that no one will, or can, stop them now.  Not just mass weather warfare, open eugenics, GMO babies, mass surveillance, mandatory vaccines (which is a precursor to sanctioned genocide), accepted fake science deployed to advance political agendas (by Jon Rappoport).

http://www.alt-market.com/index.php/articles/3998-the-globalists-are-openly-admitting-to-their-population-control-agenda-and-thats-a-bad-sign

https://www.technocracy.news/private-consortium-launches-smart-region-to-slam-smart-city-tech/

https://www.technocracy.news/genetically-engineered-babies-only-two-years-away/

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And the public thirst for lies proves unquenchable!  Get them young and dumb, throw in some fake outrage at adolescence, keep them pumping on the hamster wheel of earning and spending for decades,  distract them continuously with sports and entertainment and political theatre, then a couple bankruptcy-worthy illnesses and/or weather catastrophes, and voilà, fail-proof road to world domination.

Wouldn’t you know it, my alma-mater is a driving force in the technocratic delusion. That’s just embarrassing.

Michael Crow is a consummate Technocrat who has created a new kind of educational experience at ASU, one that is measured by its social impact rather than traditional statistics like awards or intellectual rigor.”

Is there any remedy at this late stage of sociopolitical cancer?  I can’t say, but it seems if so, individual empowerment and action is where we’ve got lots of room for improvement.

“The ruling class fully understands that the only way to control people, and to finally control the world, is to stifle individual excellence by creating a society that refuses to think. This has been accomplished through planned conflict, the instilling of fear, the total control of education by the puppet state, by building dependence through public welfare, and by dominating most all positions of power in a myriad of state, corporate, and important intellectual appointments.”

https://www.lewrockwell.com/2019/11/gary-d-barnett/the-elite-controllers-fear-the-individual-and-individual-intelligence/

 

 

Survival Instinct?

Do you love yourself enough to save yourself?

He who takes a stand is often wrong, but he who fails to take a stand is always wrong.”

Frederick T. Gates, in 1913, director of charity for John D. Rockefeller’s Southern Education Board (SEB) wrote the following:

“Is there aught of remedy for this neglect of rural life? Let us, at least, yield ourselves to the gratifications of a beautiful dream that there is. In our dream, we have limitless resources, and the people yield themselves with perfect docility to our molding hand. The present educational conventions fade from our minds; and, unhampered by tradition, we work our own good will upon a grateful and responsive rural folk. We shall not try to make these people or any of their children into philosophers or men of learning or of science. We are not to raise up from among them authors, orators, poets, or men of letters. We shall not search for embryo great artists, painters, musicians. Nor will we cherish even the humbler ambition to raise up from among them lawyers, doctors, preachers, politicians, statesmen, of whom we now have ample supply.” https://unmasker4maine.wordpress.com/2015/01/24/abcs-of-dumbdown-from-gates-to-gates-frederick-gates-1913-to-bill-gates-2015/

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Do you love your life enough to fight for it?

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Do you care about your family enough to try to warn them?

“Humankind cannot bear very much reality.” TS Eliot

“. . . if the American people had ever known the truth about what we Bushes have done to this nation, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched.” – George Bush Senior (interview with Sarah McClendon, December 1992)

Do you revere nature enough to serve it?

“There is no anti-depressant that will cure a depression that’s spirtually-based, for the malaise doesn’t originate from brain dysfunction, but from an accurate response to the desecration of life.” David R. Hawkins (Power vs. Force)

Do you respect your ancestors enough to sift their wisdom from their folly?

“Some authorities take the view that we are all virtually at the mercy of the mass media and baleful methods of group stimulation, whilst others have suggested that brainwashing and similar techniques available to the modern mind-manipulator are not only well-nigh irresistible but lead to real and permanent changes in political or religious outlook. If such beliefs are well-founded, the outlook for civilization as we know it is not pleasant to contemplate.” – J. A. C. Brown (Techniques of Persuasion)

“If we understand the mechanism and motives of the group mind, it is now possible to control and regiment the masses according to our will without them knowing it.” – Edward Bernays (Propaganda)

“What a great advantage for leaders that the people do not think.” – Adolf Hitler

Do you honor the future of humanity enough to get serious?

“The man who does not know what it means to be under psychic hypnosis, is already under it. – Vernon Howard

In my 20s, I accepted the Globalist agenda without knowing it, without questioning it, because I didn’t understand it was an agenda.  I was propagandized into believing it was in the obvious best interest of humankind without ever applying any outside research or critical thinking.

On my very first website, about two decades ago, I wrote, in all earnestness, “Educational technology will level the playing field around the globe and then we will truly share One World.”

I WAS WRONG!  If I have to repeat that publicly every day for the rest of my life to atone for my idiocy, that’s fine with me!

Not only did I not understand I’d been propagandized into supporting an agenda, I could never have conceived the agenda’s ultimate goal is Oligarchical Collectivism. (Yuk!)

Please forgive me for being a naïve tool of the State for half of my life!  I repent! I’ll forever bear better gifts, I promise!

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We are grateful to the Washington Post, The New York Times, Time Magazine, and other great publications whose directors have attended our meetings and respected their promises of discretion for almost forty years. It would have been impossible for us to develop our plan for the world if we had been subject to the bright lights of publicity during those years. But the world is now more sophisticated and prepared to march toward world government.” – David Rockefeller (Address to the Trilateral Commission, June 1991)

“Kennedy’s unswerving loyalty to the British monarchy was rewarded; his daughter, Kathleen Kennedy…married William Cavendish, the Marquis of Hartington. Hartington was the son and heir to the tenth Duke of Devonshire…who have run British politics since the days of Elizabeth I…While serving as ambassador in Britain, Joseph Kennedy was made an initiate of His Majesty’s Most Venerable Order of St. John of Jerusalem…Joseph Kennedy Jr. and John F. Kennedy were trained at the London School of Economics, and institution founded by the Fabian Society dedicated to training and recruiting foreign cadre as future British agents within government, business, media, and educational posts in their own countries. The Kennedy brothers were trained by Fabian Society Executive member Harold Laski.” – Dope, Inc

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Do you know your country well enough to recognize its enemies?

“The elementary principle of all deception is to attract the enemy’s attention to what you wish him to see and to distract his attention from what you do not wish him to see.” – General Sir Archibald Wavell

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Next the statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing tactics, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception.” – Mark Twain

http://www.michaeltsarion.com/an-address-to-the-dead.html

Well, the psychologists and sociologists of merit have been telling you for years. You are dissociated. You have infantile amnesia, and you inhabit an abstraction that is an pseudo-life. You are dead to the real and alive to the simulacra. You are outer-directed and always on the go, racing headlong toward your graves as if eager to get to them. You’ve replaced experience with reaction and intimacy with performance. Your thinking is autistic, narcissistic, and masochistic, and you’re in denial of your denial. You use your pain to gain attention, and perform good deeds mistaking those silly acts for true virtue. Your ambition and preoccupation is an avoidance of inwardness. You compete to prove you’re better and that you matter. You adore the clutter, the noise, over-stimulation and endless domestic minutiae, because it distracts you from attending to your Dharma. You crave relationships because you have none with yourselves. You want children because by your twenties you are sick of yourselves. You crave more so you can feel rich. Deconstruction, divestiture and psychosomatic catharsis mean nothing to you. All that matters is acquisition, competition, attainment and reward. The Earth can suffer, but that is alright. As long as you succeed and get hold of the power you secretly desire, nothing else matters

Are you still confused?

Do ya want to know what these words mean? They mean you are unaware that you are unaware. They mean that you have given up the right rulership of yourself. They mean that you have become totally dependent upon priests, politicians, medics and corporations, telling you what to think, believe and do. Actually its not freedom that you want. Oh no, you’re scared to death of that. What you really want is freedom from freedom, and Big Brother is itching to let you have exactly what you secretly desire. Micael Tsarion

“Freedom is the last thing he wants. He functions, as we shall see, according to the principle of pleasure in non-freedom. To be sentenced to life long freedom is a worse fate then life-long slavery. To put it another way: a man is always searching for someone or something to enslave him, for only as a slave does he feel secure.”
Esther Vilar (The Manipulated Man)

https://unslaved.com/episode-148-entrainment-social-hysteria-mob-rule/

Do you know yourself well enough, do you understand their game well enough, to become a formidable opponent?

 

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Narcissists, Psychopaths & Flying Monkeys

In high school one of our teachers played a trick on us, an ‘experiment’ for which we were uninformed and had given no consent.

Half-way through the year he changed the grading scale.  It became the new rule that we would have to earn a higher score in order to get the same grade.  So, to get an ‘A’ now meant achieving a 95% instead of a 90%, a B required 85% instead of 80%, and so on.

Once the year and the experiment were finished we learned this ‘research’ was part of his dissertation, and that it had ‘worked.’  His purpose was to prove that students would earn the grade they think they are capable of, and not try harder or achieve less.  He was working on a PhD in sociology.

I was one of the ones who ‘succeeded’ in proving his point.  I would’ve gotten a ‘B’ in his class, instead I got an ‘A,’ thanks to his arbitrary new rules.  I was expected to be grateful for this.  When I complained, this teacher, in classic narcissistic fashion, couldn’t imagine how his successful experiment would bother anyone, especially someone who ‘benefitted’ from it.

Narcissists don’t look any further than their own noses to justify their actions.  Was he concerned what it took for me to earn those extra 5% points?  Did he care that my motivation was simply not to get a ‘C’ in his class, because at home we were not allowed to get C’s in school.  My mom would’ve been extremely disappointed and my allowance docked.  I put myself through months of stress to avoid this fate, including quitting an extra-curricular activity in order to spend more time on his class.  My other grades that year suffered, thanks to him, and I was sick more often.

Oh, but it ‘worked!’  He achieved the results he desired by manipulating everyone else.  The ends justify the means, according to these types, even though they never bother to ask what those means actually meant to anyone.

When it became clear to me, once a teacher myself, that I was being used as a flying monkey for narcissists and psychopaths, I quit, remembering this moment in particular.  I was expected to compromise my students’ autonomy, their privacy, their trust—not to mention my own ethics—in order to comply with the orders streaming down from above, and constantly changing.

This has become the new normal.  “Get on board, or get out,” was what I was commanded.  I know I chose wisely to get out.  Most of my colleagues did not.

This is obviously a societal issue not isolated to the realm of education.  Not only are we expected to accept the experimentation done on us in the name of whatever the psychopaths upstairs command—whether that’s with the weather, the vaccines, the 5G, the Frankenfoods, the forever wars, the pathetic political theatre, and the relentless social engineering that is off-the-charts insane, like the rebranding of pedophilia as a ‘preference’—we’re supposed to be grateful for the opportunity to be their guinea pigs in whatever brand of f**ckery they care to shoot down the pipeline next.

At one time I blamed solely the narcissists and psychopaths for this clear social dysfunction they are perpetrating. 

But after further research and contemplation I realized this is a dysfunctional relationship, where those flying monkeys and order-followers and social climbers are clearly benefitting from the tyranny inflicted on all of us through their lack of moral fiber and courage, greed, apathy, laziness, fear, and/or whatever other personal character issues they refuse to grow beyond.

Someday the social climbers will lament, probably when they suddenly find themselves under the boot—but, where have all the heroes gone?!

I cherish that day, when I will respond with a condescending shrug and smug grimace and say, “Looks like they don’t work for the tyrants and their minions anymore!”

Real American Heroes

I will start sharing more about Individuals I find who heed principles over politics, in their own words, condensed.

John D. Whitehead

“Disagree all you want about healthcare, abortion and immigration—hot-button issues that are guaranteed to stir up the masses, secure campaign contributions and turn political discourse into a circus free-for-all—but never forget that our power as a citizenry comes from our ability to agree and stand united on certain principles that should be non-negotiable.

“Having been co-opted by greedy defense contractors, corrupt politicians and incompetent government officials, America’s expanding military empire is bleeding the country dry at a rate of more than $15 billion a month (or $20 million an hour)—and that’s just what the government spends on foreign wars. The U.S. military empire’s determination to police the rest of the world has resulted in more than 1.3 million U.S. troops being stationed at roughly 1000 military bases in over 150 countries around the world. That doesn’t include the number of private contractors pulling in hefty salaries at taxpayer expense. In Afghanistan, for example, private contractors outnumber U.S. troops three to one

 “No matter how we might differ about the role of the U.S. military in foreign affairs, surely we can agree that America’s war spending and commitment to policing the rest of the world are bankrupting the nation and spreading our troops dangerously thin.

“For too long now, the American people have rationalized turning a blind eye to all manner of government wrongdoing—asset forfeiture schemes, corruption, surveillance, endless wars, SWAT team raids, militarized police, profit-driven private prisons, and so on—because they were the so-called lesser of two evils.

 “Yet the unavoidable truth is that the government has become almost indistinguishable from the evil it claims to be fighting, whether that evil takes the form of terrorism, torture, drug trafficking, sex trafficking, murder, violence, theft, pornography, scientific experimentationsor some other diabolical means of inflicting pain, suffering and servitude on humanity.

“It’s time for good men and women to do something. And soon.

 “Wake up and take a good, hard look around you. Start by recognizing evil and injustice and tyranny for what they are. Stop being apathetic. Stop being neutral. Stop being accomplices. Stop being distracted by the political theater staged by the Deep State: they wantyou watching the show while they manipulate things behind the scenes. Refuse to play politics with your principles. Don’t settle for the lesser of two evils.”

Please read this monumental article in its entirety and take a moment to deeply consider how you can be a force for positive action, because each one of us can be, just the way we are.  We still have marvelous power right at our fingertips in this country, let’s use it for good, before it’s too late!

https://mailchi.mp/rutherford/monsters-with-human-faces-the-tyranny-of-the-police-state-disguised-as-law-and-order-by-john-w-whitehead?e=39c2b09a89

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Not So Wise Women

I did some travel writing during a decade of constant travel and my favorite part was having an excuse to talk to elderly ladies.  Someday I will dig up more of these photos and interviews.  It was sheer enjoyment and curiosity that drove me to them.

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I really had no agenda and I’d been advised to steer clear of politics, but sometimes I’d ask about the ‘communist’ takeover, quickly followed by the Soviet occupation, though it was probably still too early to discuss such recent wounds in polite company in the 1990s. So, sometimes I’d seek out un-polite company.

It always stuck with me how often I hear a lady say some version of: “We had no idea what they were capable of!”  I believed them.  “Of course, how could you possibly have known, so tragic,” is what I’d be thinking.

Now that I’ve grown I’ve gotten a different take on this well-worn phrase.  Now I think, well, why the hell not?  Had you not gotten the news of their atrocities in Poland and Hungary and East Germany and so on? These are your neighbors, after all. 

But, of course they had, these were not peasants in the countryside usually, they were worldly elderly women living in Prague, most of them still working into their 70s, because that’s what happens when the government ‘collectivizes’ all your family properties, businesses and homes.  That’s what they called it, collectivized, because it sounds so much nicer than confiscated.

They had a suspicion of ‘volunteers’ that was completely unknown to me previously and was actually the hardest thing for me to overcome in the beginning, since part of the time I was living there I was a Peace Corps volunteer.  Now I get it.  It’s the ‘Trojan Horse’ thing, and the fact that volunteering was forced on them by the government as part of their ‘civic duties’ along with voting in sham elections and showing up for cheesy government-sponsored parades and celebrations.

I would do dumb touristy things without a second thought, like photograph folks’ houses I found lovely.  One time a horrified middle-aged lady ran out of her front door in her robe to scream at me: “No taking pictures here!  Are you healthy?!”

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Me in Slovakia 1995

That line stuck with me for years.  “Are you healthy?”  What in the world did she mean by that, like, I looked sick or something?  I was very healthy indeed, her house was so beautiful and I so admired it I was doing what was completely natural for me to do, take a picture, duh!

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Belarus 1999

Then many years later I realized she must have meant ‘healthy in the head’ because the paranoia in these folks ran really deep.  Though apparently they adopted it too late to save themselves from the real enemy.

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The Soviet tanks rolling into other major Eastern European cities was in the papers.  They knew.  They just thought, “Oh, but that could never happen here!”

I would not have pressed further back then and I took these ladies at face value.  Now I would press, because what I think was really at play was what I see all around me today in this country: denial, suppression, wishful thinking, neglect, misdirected hostility, and so on.

They are showing you what they are capable of, right now, Americans: police state, mass surveillance, technocratic overlords, end of private property, mandatory vaccinations, end of free speech, and the very long list goes on.

Thanks very much to Decker, Dispatches from the Asylum for this brief sampling of the day on the capabilities and intentions of our current overlords:

“Check out the latest of these shitards and their latest, choicest f**kery:”
First wireless insect-size robot takes flight – via roboticsnews.com

That Sign Telling You How Fast You’re Driving May Be Spying – via technocracy.news

Your Volvo Will Soon Call The Cops On You If It Thinks You’ve Been Drinking – via zerohedge.com

Finger Vein Vending Machines And A Global Biometric Police Database – via activistpost.com

NYC subway denies using ‘real-time face recognition screens’ in Times Square – via theverge.com

Police in Canada Are Tracking People’s ‘Negative’ Behavior In a ‘Risk’ Database– via vice.com

MAIN CORE: GOVT “THREAT LIST” NAMES AT LEAST 8 MILLION AMERICANS WHO WILL BE DETAINED WHEN MARTIAL LAW IS IMPOSED – via amg-news.com

DARPA Seeks FAA Approval For Military Drones Over American Cities – via technocracy.news

AT&T Creates FirstNet For Law Enforcement Surveillance – viatechnocracy.news

Homeland Security To Scan Your Face At 20 Top Airports – via technocracy.news

Law enforcement taps Google’s Sensorvault for location data, report – viacnet.com

Snitch Switch: Smart Assistants With “Moral AI” Could Call Police on Owners Who Break Law – via thenewamerican.com

Take a good, hard look, because I really don’t want to have to say, “I told you so!”on my death bed.

But, of course, if it comes to that, I certainly will.

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Me in Prague, Czech Republic 1994

Socialism is Unethical

In response to Caitlin Johnstone’s article, I’d like to offer this rebuttal.  I have loads of respect for this journalist, I agree with her on most of her points of view, except this and the fact she’s clearly not researched weather modification/geoengineering, but that’s another post.

Rugged Individualism Cannot Save Us, Only Enlightened Collectivism Can

I know the arguments and I’ve lived them in post-Soviet countries.  Being the simpleton I’ve been called I do find it valuable to make the complicated simple, whittle it down to the essential.  Socialism is unethical.  That’s all that matters to me.

I don’t like to be bullied, most folks don’t.  Whether that bully is another individual or a group, it’s wrong.  What happens in practicality with collectivism, after the niceties of fairness and group-think wear off, is manipulation, a constant shifting of the goal post, gaslighting, dehumanizing, celebrating mediocrity.

Imagine this as it often happens within a typical master/slave dynamic, like with parents toward their children.  When Mom wants her teenager to think for herself she’ll say: “So, if all your friends jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, would you do it too?”

Yet the very same mom will insist her daughter does not elope and wears white to her wedding, and invites the right people, and all sorts of other group-think behavior if it suits her fancy.  You might chalk this up to that’s just how the world works, but clearly upon deeper reflection it’s obvious this is not ethical: It’s not based on consistent and universal principles, it’s based on the whims of what the mother finds ‘right’ in the moment.

We are naturally collective, that’s why we need the balancing power of strong individuation.  ‘Rugged individuals’ don’t go off to conquer new territory, whether in land, mind or sea, in order to be alone, alienated with their creation beyond kin or company.  They do it in service to something, and that something is often called ego, but in fact ego alone doesn’t get one very far, unless there’s a crowd there serving that ego.

To see what collectivism, or socialism as it’s currently named, will look like as a worldwide system, one needs only consider it in a practical confined context.  In healthy families it works brilliantly.  But what happens in unhealthy ones, or when the tribe gets larger? 

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What about in a business setting, for example?  Someone in that business is taking a bigger risk, someone is more competent, more popular, more trusted, more diligent, more something.  That’s just how we are wired, we follow the weak at our peril. 

Organizing around the weakest links is what’s required of socialism, for ‘equity’s’ sake, but in nature this creates the same predator/prey situation as in any work environment.  We must collaborate, we must cooperate, but not at the expense of the will of the strong, the natural leaders.

“It is precisely these generalities of character, governed by forces of which we are unconscious, and possessed the normal of individuals of a race in much the same degree—it is precisely these qualities I say that in crowds become common property. In the collective mind the intellectual aptitudes of the individual, and in consequence their individuality, are weakened.  The heterogeneous is swamped by the homogeneous, and the unconscious qualities obtain the upper-hand.” Gustav LeBon’s The Crowd

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I don’t believe in free will.  I think will is very expensive indeed.  What will the strong do if they are constantly undermined, manipulated, bullied by the crowd?

The incompetent will pull too much on the competent to the point they quit, or to the point their mojo is reduced to such a level as to become ineffectual.  This is why Ayn Rand’s work is so relevant and poignant on the political level.  How does power work?  Well, above all, it’s an aphrodisiac for those who seek it.

But, is that what the ‘rugged individualist’ is seeking, necessarily?  This is an assumption that’s often brandied about as fact by collectivist types.

In crowds it is stupidity and not mother-wit that is accumulated.  It is not all the world, as is so often repeated, that has more wit than Voltaire, but assuredly Voltaire that has more wit than all the world, if by ‘all the world’ crowds are to be understood.” LeBon

We need more rugged individuals, not fewer.  We squash them, even in this supposedly most free country and beacon of individualism, we force them from the earliest age to conform and comply.

This feeds tyranny, no doubt, but not for the reasons collectivists think.  It’s not because a few rogue elements get past the socialization and rise up to rule the roost out of sheer force of individual will.   The tough skin the individual acquires by fighting group-think his entire childhood and adolescence becomes armor for some, but more often the individual succumbs to the pressure.  Only the toughest survive not because they are beaten down by the competition, but because their potential rivals are beaten down by the crowd.  That works really well for the ruthless.

”Thus the State never intentionally confronts a man’s sense, intellectual or moral, but only his body, his senses.  It is not armed with superior wit or honesty, but with superior physical strength.  I was not born to be forced.  I will breathe after my own fashion.  Let us see who is the strongest.  What force has a multitude? They force me to become like themselves.  I do not hear of men being forced to live this way or that by masses of men. What sort of life were that to live?  When I meet a government which says to me, “Your money or your life,” why should I be in haste to give it my money? . . . I am not responsible for the successful working of the machinery of society. I am not the son of the engineer.  I perceive that, when an acorn and a chestnut fall side by side, the one does not remain inert to make way for the other, but both obey their own laws, and spring and grow and flourish as best they can, till one, perchance, overshadows and destroys the other.  If a plant cannot live according to its nature, it dies; and so a man.” Henry David Thoreau ‘Civil Disobedience and Other Essays

The rugged individualists I know are more interested in adventure than in conquering; more interested in creating than in destroying, more interested in ethics than power.

The technocracy is ruled by the ‘law of large numbers’ that is — “BIG DATA” — that is, the crowd.

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I wonder if the average person were to be presented with a simple and straight-forward question whether the answer would come out in favor of the ‘rugged individual’:

If you were forced to have someone rule over you, would you rather it were a great individual or a machine of collective consensus?”

I don’t think I need a ruler at all, but if there were no other choice, I know my answer.  

But then, I consider myself to be a rugged individualist.

 

 

 

Hazing is Gaslighting

This comes from my personal experience pledging the sororities at SMSU, Springfield, MO circa 1986.

Part of our plebe requirements after pledging was to memorize the names and birthplaces of all those sisters above us and to recite them, along with details of their preferences, and whatever else they felt should be important to us, for the privilege of belonging to their group consensus. Shortly after winning my entrance, I lost interest completely.

I didn’t last long once ‘Activated’ in Alpha Sigma Alpha, not surprising.  I was sucked in nonetheless for another year in these ritual phases until I refused to perpetuate these abuses onto the new coming plebs, and ultimately perhaps just to record them in my own small way now in the later years of my life.

My ‘big sister’ aka ‘sponsor’ had died in a drunk driving accident during my apprenticeship .  It was this tragedy that gave me mercy among the rest of the disapproving sisterhood.   You see, I’d given the horrid affront of not assuming appropriate position in appropriate hour with appropriate humility, and therefore, I must suffer.  I was grilled like a pale shrimp on the Barbie (bad pun intended).

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It was the candle vigil, dressed in white, yes, it’s really like that, just like you see in the movies.  And I was grilled.  It was ‘fair’ for some, not for others, who stood up for me, and won.  I was relieved.  That’s how Stockholm Syndrome works.  I lived in ‘the house’ as a pleb, and that’s how it works.  Good cops/bad cops.

There is no time-space.  These memories come to me as current, right now, right here.  This is not a blessing. Since the last weather disaster this spring, these memories just come, beyond my reasoning or control.

Just maybe, it’s some sort of karma.  And I’m not afraid anymore.  And I pity those who are still afraid, sometimes very sincerely, sometimes with a sense of sorry superiority that haunts me in the middle of the night.

I do know better now.  I am not that naive girl anymore.  I’ve made choices and braved chasms beyond these putrid machinations.  I’m not proud for that,  I did it mostly of necessity.  But I know, because of it, we will reside in different worlds, and will remain so, for the rest of our short lives.

You needed me to conform.  I get that.  I don’t shame you for it.
But, still, I do resent you for it. Though I’m very sure you couldn’t give a rat’s arse either way.

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The Wisdom to Know the Difference

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Do you have a favorite song?  Did you love it from the first moment, or did it grow on you?

Do you have a favorite hobby?  How did you find it?  Was it passed down to you from a parent or seem to appear from nowhere?

Have you ever doodled, maybe even just randomly while chatting on the phone?  What did you draw? Did you wonder why?

Have you ever pondered what makes your preferences your preferences?

When confronted with your obvious limitations have you ever said, “F*ck off!”?

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When you hear again and again, apparently sold with all the best of intentions the same menu:  You can’t control the weather; You can’t fight the government; You can’t be David against Goliath; You can’t conquer the dragons; You can’t rise above your lot . . . Have you ever said, “Excuse me, why the bloody hell not?!”

Some are most certainly doing it, so why not me?

You can call that a sense of entitlement if you want.  I call it something else entirely.

 

 

 

Healing Wounds Right

That I knew she was a life-squasher from first glance, no one cares.

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One encounter and I knew I was dealing with a CON at some level.  But how, but where?  It’s just a hunch, I must be wrong.  They always call me wrong.

She was showered with love and swooning in approval.  Not to mention charming beyond all reason.  I should like her anyway, because that’s what we do, in our clan.

Besides, she was all that he wanted, that any man could conceivably want: Beautiful, caring, young, gregarious, doting, etc., etc.

That I talked to her, privately, intimating, questioning her ever so delicately, which I can be just as efficacious at as I can be badgering mercilessly.  No one cares.

There’s consensus, we’ve aligned with it, and if you ask a single unsavory question, you will be met with the total indignation of our collective clan wrath. 

How dare you sense what we can’t see!  We do not agree, missy!

But, wait, what about me?  When I march along I’m blessed, but when I disagree I’m pitied?  I’m castrated?  I’m eye-rolled out of existence? That speaks much more of y’all than it does of me.

You say you love me, care about me, have protected me and yet . . . My senses are routinely dismissed, and completely subjugated under your defenses. 

Do you care how it feels for me, really, to sense these things, to remember these things, while being systematically dismissed by those who say they love and care?

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Don’t rock our boat!  Well, that proves right there you are narcissistic and selfish! And a bully! A bully is rocking our boat of perfect delusions and illusions! STOP HER!

And yet, the truth will set ME free.  I will, at last, be able to force that 300 pound laughing man off my lap, for once, and for all! Once every person in my life who finds this acceptable is OUT, breathe will return to me once again.

The liars will scatter, and even fear.  

Heaven on MY hearth.

 

Beggar’s Strike or Fountainhead

1EE48CDE-5129-4D11-A65E-1B3E7F507FD9Two very different novels I read at university appear to have completely different ideological stances, but are actually about the same fundamental thing, now considering decades later.

The Beggar’s Strike (La Greve des Battus) 1979 by Aminata Sow Fall, considered an African classic, on which my Master’s thesis was based. Plot according to GoodReads:

 “The sight of disease-ridden beggars in the streets is giving the town a bad name, and the tourists are starting to stay away. If the Director of Public Health and Hygiene can get rid of them he will have done a great service to the health and economy of the nation – not to mention his own promotion prospects. A plan of military precision is put into action to rid the streets of these verminous scroungers. But the beggars are organized, too. They know that giving alms is a divine obligation and that Allah’s good will is vital to worldly promotion. So when the beggars withdraw their charitable service, the pious city civil servants and businessmen start to panic.”

In the U.S. this would be leftist ideology without a doubt. And yet, the very ‘right’ ideology of Ayn Rand fame, the Fountainhead (1945), is also about a strike. Again, according to GoodReads:

“This modern classic is the story of intransigent young architect Howard Roark, whose integrity was as unyielding as granite…of Dominique Francon, the exquisitely beautiful woman who loved Roark passionately, but married his worst enemy…and of the fanatic denunciation unleashed by an enraged society against a great creator. As fresh today as it was then, Rand’s provocative novel presents one of the most challenging ideas in all of fiction—that man’s ego is the fountainhead of human progress..”

What I remember from my nut-shell:  In the first the poor/used strike against the wealthy/privileged.  In the second the gifted/used strike against the wealthy/ privileged.  Sounds like a classic case of working both sides against the middle, Machiavelli-style.

Whether man’s ego is the fountainhead of progress we can debate all day and night, but what happens in the Fountainhead plot is basically they build a walled community of the select brilliant people to escape the tyranny of the majority.

In the Beggar’s Strike the majority is manipulated to serve the tyranny of the underprivileged few.

Both novels lead to the same outcome: collectivism.  Rand’s ruggedly individualistic characters still had every intention of serving the collective, they just wanted to be well-recognized for their efforts.  Fall’s characters have no intention of leaving the herd, they just want their heroic efforts to be recognized.  One noose for all necks.

From whom are y’all seeking recognition?  Rand’s characters deserve it based on their passion and creativity and integrity and perseverance.  Fall’s characters deserve it based on their humility, and perseverance, and creativity and integrity. But from whom?

Both are based on power structures of who needs whom more, and exploiting that angle to the hilt.

Whether the African jungle or the American one, the spin doctors are hard at work.

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