Science Fraud and Fantasy (part 1)

One of my favorite trees, the Sassafras, is flaming red now, one of the few to have changed so brilliantly in this unusually warm and dry fall in East Texas. Between now and winter is the best time to clip the leaves and dig up the tenacious roots so as to indulge in a couple of our ancestors’ favorite libations—root beer and Sassafras tea. Gumbo filé is also made from it, which is an essential ingredient in some Cajun cooking.

Our ancestors adored it, science calls it a carcinogen. At the same time vast groves of it are grown in regions of the globe more easily controlled, in order to mass extract their saffrole to make a version of the popular street drug called ecstasy.

Science is failing us. The case could be made in multiple disciplines, but can be witnessed most dramatically in plant/nutrition science, climate science, and quantum physics. It has become impossible over the last several decades to decipher the spin from the pseudo, the beneficial from the political, the real data and relevant studies from the marketing groups and the string-pullers.

Science has become reliant on disinformation and dogma, and driven almost entirely by warfare, which I’ll be discussing in the next several posts.

Climate engineering, including its many different angles like Stratospheric Aerosols, global dimming, Solar Radiation Management, etc. remains a topic so controversial among scientists even regular folks are starting to not believe their own eyes. They still question whether the expanding contrails above their heads and obvious to millions are even real. Trolls on social media claim ridiculous “scientific facts” that these trails and the chemical clouds and weather manipulation that ensues are totally normal. The scientific “community” is itself in denial, though the military has published multiple reports on these projects and it is discussed openly in think tanks, not to mention by millions on social media around the globe.

Here are some above our property, discussed in previous posts.

https://kenshohomestead.org/2016/10/12/greenwashing-the-globe/

https://kenshohomestead.org/2016/10/03/chemglobe/

Scientific analysis, from those few scientists who are bothering to question beyond the mainstream narrative, is interspersed with language of the alien agenda. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjzkEiO6AAc(recent chemtrails analysis, but who is to know at this point who is really using science!)

We have been trained to believe science and faith are opposites. Yet, the push in modern science is to unify these polarities in a similar way as the alchemists once did.

Jay Dyer deconstructs at length various films, especially sci-fi, including the newly released Dr. Strange, through the lens of the occult and the Ecumenical movement. Like in so many Hollywood films, we witness the marriage of science and spirituality, move effortlessly between these two ‘opposing’ worldviews, with “magic” and “science” having become once again interchangeable. While some may argue this is just fiction, a deeper study of fiction will quickly blur those thin lines. “Unity consciousness” is all-pervasive in some circles, especially among those New Age folks who consider themselves “enlightened” and these popular movements are influenced by the same worldview permeating science.

https://www.spreaker.com/user/acrnetwork/doctor-strange-illuminism-mans-apotheosi

Scientism is the result, Jay argues.

https://jaysanalysis.com/2014/06/17/the-cult-of-scientism-and-nikola-teslas-aether/

Such is the mythology surrounding scientism, and its incorrect narrative of how history has progressed and how the scientific method is the only reliable, all-encompassing Rosetta Stone of gnosis. In reality, the global standardized university system is an epistemic cartel dogmatically committed to enforcing naïve empiricism and reductionist materialism, as well as centuries old, outdated “mass consumption” physics. Granted, not every “scientist” is party to this conspiracy, but without a doubt, no one graduates to international prominence without passing the qualifications of the Royal Society’s Holy Office of scientific inquisition. Nikola Tesla and his classified and confiscated work is a perfect example of this international materialist/monetarist control – but more on that later. . . .Yet so many operate under the assumption that funding and desired results somehow doesn’t determine the results of what studies get funded and are done! This is not to say all studies are funded for a specific purpose, but nowadays, almost everyone is familiar with the practice of certain megacorporations funding studies to achieve profitable results. Notable, famous examples of this include the pharmaceutical and GMO food industries. Failing to recognize this fact is simply not living in the real world, opting instead for the fantasy land of imagined objectivity for one special field, “science,” as if science were magically immune to the rest of human weakness.”

“Almost the entire academic world has, for centuries, been under the delusion that the “scientific method” is the best and only reliable means for arriving at an approximation of the natural world. Religion, speculation, emotions, etc., are all lumped into a similar dustbin, giving us no useful data relevant to science. Science, the argument goes, relies on some amorphous form of “reason” (though none of these pragmatists have any idea what exactly reason itself is), that provides us with calculable, generally mathematical results.”

http://www.blacklistednews.com/40_percent_of_scientists_admit_that_fraud_is_always_or_often_a_factor_that_contributes_to_irreproducible_research/51518/0/38/38/Y/M.html

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2012/sep/13/scientific-research-fraud-bad-practice

Lots of science fraud has been uncovered by veteran journalist Jon Rappoport concerning disease. For example: declaring and promoting the existence of various epidemics, when the viruses purportedly causing them are not proven to exist or not proven to cause human illness (Zika, Ebola, SARS, West Nile, Swine Flu, etc.)https://jonrappoport.wordpress.com/category/science-fraud/

http://news.stanford.edu/2015/11/16/fraud-science-papers-111615/

Where to even begin considering the faulty “progress” of nutrition science? With GMOs, of course!

http://modernfarmer.com/2016/10/wait-second-gmo-crops-dont-actually-reduce-pesticide-use-produce-food/

The “thinking” folk, the so-called rational ones, often try to distance themselves from those of faith. A Facebook friend recently made an astute comment when I wrote of my intention to question science.

“Science is the tool. Scientists are the craftsmen. There is definitely a difference between a carpenter and the hammer he uses to perform his trade. If he builds shoddy structures that collapse with the first moderate breeze, was it the fault of the hammer, or the one wielding it?”

Let’s take the analogy one step further. Considering it’s obvious that fraud and fantasy are embedded in the reality of these scientific craftsmen, how useful can we really consider the tool to be?  As the old adage goes, when all you have is a hammer, everything becomes a nail.

To be continued . . .

Greenwashing the Globe

I was duped and that’s maddening, not to mention a bit humiliating too.

When I first heard of Globalism I was an avid world traveler fancying I could make it as a travel writer. I remember seeing some anti-globalist picketers in front of a large bank in some major European city and thinking “Wow, these folks are really afraid of McDonalds!”

I was no big fan myself, but didn’t consider any differing perspectives or a bigger picture than “Don’t they realize how much more pleasant it is for us travelers to use ATMs and credit cards all over the world rather than deal with cash or Traveler’s Cheques?

How very naïve I was and what a difference a decade can make. I imagined global government meant a global democracy. Really! What a slap in the face it was to witness the U.S. become far more like the formerly Soviet-bloc countries I’d known.

I remember once on an overnight train ride through a few countries in Eastern Europe I was awoken five times by fierce agents in differing uniforms to “Show your papers!”

It seemed so absurd to me, so pointless and paranoid.  Not to mention how very annoying it was to have to perform this ritual throughout my sleepless night.

Then I got repeatedly frisked in my country’s own airports—required to go barefoot on filthy floors and to strip to my tank top in front of hundreds of passengers.  I watched as cities transformed for military operations, boiled as I learned about the mass surveillance, screamed when I heard about the force-feeding of GMOs, and just when I thought it couldn’t possibly get any darker, yes quite naive once again, darker indeed it got—it’s called Global Dimming, http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/sun/ and it’s part of the on-going global climate manipulation.

The spin agents in the mainstream media want to make it look, at best, like beneficial progress harmless to humanity and, at worst, as if it’s all one giant conspiracy theory invented by inconvenient crazies.

But how can any mind dismiss it all when it just doesn’t add up? When the military says one thing, and the weathermen another, and the public officials, the experts, the alternative media, social media are all aglow with speculation and hype, yet, it’s never on the mainstream news.  Surely any rational mind revolts and roars–Something is very wrong indeed!

It requires extensive independent research to unravel. Luckily these days that can be done from the comfort of your bed or kitchen or living room. That may not be the case for much longer.

The mainstream media would have us think normal contrails are crisscrossing the sky at various locations around the entire globe. Greenpeace calls it a conspiracy theory.  I actually volunteered for them once upon a time.  Arghhh!

So, Greenpeace, we are to think the pilots are simply bored and playing Tic-Tac-Toe up there?

Please folks, I’m begging y’all here.  Help us do the research and raise awareness. If we all stop being so naïve and self-focused and do a bit of study on behalf of future generations, we just might be able to take back control of our skies and our lives.

Thanks to the tireless work of so many the initial research can now be as easy as watching some Youtube videos. This is a new series that’s very approachable called In the Garden with Max Bliss.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBxBC20S_7Y&index=3&list=PLWZKZdhpugaNk-Seh36ZWbXv1jfNB7d0a

The latest whistleblower from Geoengineering Watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl5NW9KcMt0&list=WL&index=17

And a few quotes to inspire your resolve. Thanks for reading y’all, please take action.

The concept of national sovereignty has been immutable,
indeed a sacred principle of international relations.
It is a principle which will yield only slowly and reluctantly to
the new imperatives of global environmental cooperation.

UN Commission on Global Governance report

“Democracy is not a panacea. It cannot organize everything and
it is unaware of its own limits. These facts must be faced squarely.
Sacrilegious though this may sound, democracy is no longer well
suited for the tasks ahead. The complexity and the technical nature
of many of today’s problems do not always allow elected
representatives to make competent decisions at the right time.

Club of Rome,
The First Global Revolution

Regionalism must precede globalism.
We foresee a seamless system of governance from
local communities, individual states, regional unions
and up through to the United Nations itself
.”
UN Commission on Global Governance

The goal now is a socialist, redistributionist society,
which is nature’s proper steward and society’s only hope
.”
David Brower,
founder of Friends of the Earth

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If we don’t overthrow capitalism, we don’t have a chance of
saving the world ecologically. I think it is possible to have
an ecologically sound society under socialism.
I don’t think it is possible under capitalism

Judi Bari,
principal organiser of Earth First!

http://green-agenda.com/

carlin.png

I have yet to hear a single politician currently in office discuss Geoengineering in public, yet it’s all over social media in a multitude of languages.  hmmmm . . .

 

Debating, Deflecting or Directing?

I’ve been avoiding the elections because I know they are akin to pro-wrestling for the educated, and the NBC pre-debate warm-up comparing it to a sporting match demonstrates this is a common enough perception.

I don’t watch them, I don’t like them, I don’t trust them.  Still, I found myself watching, as I suspect many others as well. According to reports it was the most watched ever, or some such hype.

It was as dull as I expected it to be, but I was watching with a smart little cyber group that made it more palatable. Almost nothing stuck out too much for me except that the Republican wore blue and sat on the left and the Democrat on the right wore red, obviously expressly set that way, thanks to their handlers’ designs.  And, I noticed that she looked much better than in previous weeks, thanks to botox and make-up so mask-like it made her face nearly expressionless, which exaggerated his already clownish expressions.

I kept thinking, what exactly am I watching here? What is the purpose of this debate?

Then, snap, it came, in their moment of comraderie and agreement: The Terror Watch List.

https://thinkprogress.org/clinton-trump-debate-terror-watch-list-1ad0a47c431c#.5a4padql4

Of course we can all agree that guns should not go to folks on government watch lists! Right?

Did y’all catch that too?

Do you know who is on those lists? Do you know how we got there? Do you know we can’t get off them without personal sponsorship from an FBI agent? Do you know we are not told why we are on one of these lists or even that we are on one? Do you know who has access to these lists?  Did you realize the vast majority of folks on those lists have never been convicted of a crime, let alone accused of one?

Quite probably millions of innocent people are on these lists, which are shared between government agencies and corporations of all sorts. There is little besides our surveillance state and the Federal Reserve that is more an example of our oligarichal, totalitarian, neo-fascist control grid besides these completely unconstitutional lists.

I am on one. Are you? Would you even know? Would you like to know how to find out?

https://www.sott.net/article/242430-Police-State-85-Things-that-Might-Get-You-on-a-DHS-Terrorist-Watch-List

http://www.businessinsider.com/spencer-ackerman-how-you-can-be-on-a-terrorist-watchlist-2014-7

http://reason.com/blog/2014/03/14/are-you-on-a-terrorist-watchlist-because

watchlistgraphGAO.jpg

https://privacysos.org/lists/

 

 

 

Predators and Passivity

I wish I could say I was not guilty of it. I watched on two different days last week as a coyote trotted off contentedly first with a duck, then a chicken. The latter time I was outside, with our very large Dane-Mastiff guarding, reading on the deck as the coyote pranced by 200 feet from us, without any chicken ever making a sound to alert our attention.

I did shoot at it, far too late, but I was so slow and stunned I hardly had a chance. I asked on social media whether, had they been faster than me, if they would have choosen to shoot the thieving coyote with their cameras or their guns. Most chose cameras, which demonstrates a double-bind, I believe.

We have lost sight of the predator/prey relationship. In fact, when we look closely into New Age groups and the major push in education currently, the prey has been deluded into believing they can transform the predator into something ‘better’ or “safer” or at least less scary.

The prey goes into school and later even therapy so as to come out better adapted at the game and to his role as prey. The predators understand perfectly this relationship can be best described by the old parable of ‘the frog and the scorpion.’  Since at least Biblical times, it has always been the same game.  The predator/prey relationship is easily paralleled to our more civilized equivalent of Master/slave, which can be extended further to our current neo-serf system of Parent/child and State/citizen.

I fancy myself aware, self-reliant, pro-active, resourceful. Yet, in my ‘truth quest,’ which a great many of us have been on for many years now, I’ve demonstrated my talent at pointing fingers, shifting responsibility, projecting, and most grievous and destructive of all, further nurturing an identification complex. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Identification_%28psychology%29

An identification complex is plaguing seemingly all of society right now so I have plenty of company. We are all pointing our fingers at the 1%, or in the case of “truthers” or “conspiracy theorists” the .001%, as the core problem with the world. We criticize from one side of our mouths and go along with the other. We go along in hundreds of different ways every day. We fall for their fashion and entertainment, we sit in their schools and on their boards and in their governments. On the surface there seems to be little other choice. When someone opens their eyes wide enough to see this is the same master/slave relationship indoctrinated and institutionalized at ever level of the system that has existed since the beginning of history, we are then met with the next inconvenient truth:  We are only looking at the gameboard, we are not understanding the game.

We the slaves both despise and envy the master, and the master knows this and uses it against us.  Obedience is the price and the master sets the terms.  Our role is to remain passive and uncomplaining against the unspoken contract.   When the noose tightens, some slaves become restless and resentful, while others adapt by learning to breathe more shallowly.  Livestock breeders use identical methods.  This is how the system perpetuates and exacerbates to such an imbalance that an excess of predators disrupt the natural order until collapse is inevitable.

Of course the game is rigged!  And if you had your way, it would be rigged in your favor.  Your preference might be: I want it to be fair and safe for everyone, for there to be no predators or prey, no masters or slaves, and many might support you, to the point they’d be willing to become the predators in order to preserve your collective safe-space.

What we see politically we are also allowing in our personal and professional lives. We feel the boot, there are fewer in denial everyday. We know we are being surveilled and minimized and made obsolete. We know we are victims and we react in one of the many ways they know we will, as prey always will: Fight, Flight, Fawn, or Freeze. If one can find another courageous enough to rebel, he is also lost eventually, because to rebel is to remain still inside the game. They have plenty of room for rebellion, they count on it, they thrive on it.

“I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.” Jay Gould

Obedience is the prey’s cost in the master/slave, State/citizen relationship, making the passive society become increasingly easy prey; little more than a flock of smiling depressives. These easiest of prey develop a quintessential need for their one-season world, for un-natural order, until passivity replaces fear and we all become the woman watching the coyote trot by with one of her ducks, too slow and maladapted and untrained to stop him.

When one is lucky enough to find another who has the courage to change the game, or at least give it a go, one has met the Fool soon to replace the Father. The game changes when we ourselves change, it’s an inside-out process, not an outside-in. We choose en masse, to not be prey or predator.  We choose to have no rulers. We choose Autonomy, Sovereignty and Self-government.

The ones who understand you must stop the predator or soon all your poultry will perish are the ones rebelling, which the masters then flaunt in front of the more passive prey to get them focused toward each other. The fawns point fingers at the fights, the freezes blame the flights, and around and around we go.

Where will we stop? Does somebody know?

When the most passive meets the predator en face they realize their only hope is one they’ve been trying to avoid all along.  Because the most unpleasant truth of the human condition from the mindset of the frog is that not every frog has to become aware of the nature of the scorpion, they just have to become aware faster than the last frog.

Here’s some research links I know could really benefit some of my fellow frogs.

For your personal life and relationships: Ollie Mathews, an ingenious entrepreneur helping victims of narcissistic abuse by reading their often painful letters on Youtube.  Understanding this co-dependent dysfunctional relationship is crucial to understanding how it’s playing out in the Big Game:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVFJBbBcV6akw8M1YuDo-Yg

To dig into the Big Game, prepare yourself for the most complex, multi-faceted work of your life.

https://www.unslaved.com/

https://tragedyandhope.com/

https://www.corbettreport.com/

 

 

 

 

Enforcing Happiness

This is not a positive, solutions-oriented post. Trigger warning. Some readers are likely to become offended.  Continue reading at the peril of feeling negative and/or critical. Feelings of hopelessness may also arise. More sensitive readers may feel overcome with a sense of dread or an onset of depression. This post is not recommended for those who are taking prescription medications, or are self-medicating, have children or are planning to have children. In fact, no one should read this post.

Enter the Traumatology Zone. Dual reality. Duel reality. Forced choice, double speak, group think, mass manipulation. Polarity Pattern Processing.  Perpetual Propaganda.

With one hand keep the populace undisciplined, uneducated, disorganized, distracted, deluded, and with the other hand convince them that they’re happy in this state.

The goal: A populace that is predictable and conditioned to obey. Participating in their own destruction. Policing one another as they battle one another.

The vision: Total Spectrum Dominance.

The means: Anything and everything.

Current regimen: Poisoning from Stratospheric Aerosol Spraying, fake food, fluoridated water, toxic vaccines, intellectual and cultural nihilism. Permanent undeclared war.  Deliberate dumbing-down.

Publicly shun dissenters as ‘haters’ and ‘conspiracy theorists’.  Eliminate them from mainstream discourse.  Preach love and unity at every opportunity.  We are all one.  One big fake-happy family under oligarchical domination renamed democracy.

Don’t look up!

Current enforcement shaped through the corporate model. Brief description follows.

“. . .the ideology of modern corporate management, which uses therapeutic forms of social control and calls for group harmony to impose rigid conformity.
This magical thinking is largely responsible for our economic collapse, since any Cassandra who saw it coming was dismissed as “negative.” This childish belief discredits legitimate concerns and anxieties. It exacerbates despair and passivity. It fosters a state of self-delusion. And it has perverted the way we think about the nation and ourselves.
The corporations enforce a relentless optimism that curtails honest appraisal of reality and preserves hierarchical forms of organization under the guise of “participation.” Corporate culture provides, as Christopher Lasch pointed out, a society dominated by corporate elites with an anti-elitist ideology.
Positive psychology, which claims to be able to engineer happiness and provides the psychological tools for enforcing corporate conformity, is to the corporate state what eugenics was to the Nazis.”

For further reading:

http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/20090726_happiness_consultants_wont_stop_a_depression

http://www.geoengineeringwatch.org/category/global-meltdown/

http://www.geoengineeringwatch.org/chuck-norris-a-government-cover-up-of-epic-proportions/

Confessions of a ‘Promiscuous’ Woman

This post is dedicated to a teacher I’ve learned much from, and react to, as all diligent students should be expected to do:  Stefan Molyneux.  Thank you for your insights, indefatigable work which I continue to draw from, and your bullshit, which inspires this post.  I am your forever scapegoat and critic, a role I hope all fans might try to navigate before they place judgment.

Oh No! Women are no longer willing to embrace their role!  A direct cause of the downfall of the Roman Empire and our current civilization, according to philosopher/historian Stefan Molyneux. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qh7rdCYCQ_U

The State is the enemy, women are the suckers of the State teet, that is, mothers without husbands, not the legitimate man and wife, as was meant to be by all the edicts of civilization and God himself. ‘Man and wife,’ wow, flashback!  Your “being” attached to my “role,” thanks for that, already getting the old picture, the one instilled, very diligently, by my grandfather and father.

Single-motherhood is not what I’m promoting. I agree with Stefan as far as an underlying ethic he sometimes conjures which is, men count. Oh don’t I know it! I’m a so-called crazy co-dependent with Daddy issues–dysfunctional men have flocked to me for four decades now.  The exception, my husband and personal hero,–but whatever, I’m a ‘feminist’ without children–that I might have a few right leanings is all that binds me to this latest new-right propaganda.

Apparently, according to the ‘new right’ those of us who did not follow the path of motherhood, and are now surely miserable in our declined state of sexual value, being no longer able to attract enough willing suitors to assuage our unquenchable egos, well I guess I’m just that tall man in China. You are misinformed, Stefan and devoted Conservative and Christian followers, and I think you are not only supporting, but espousing, as often as not, complete nonsense when it comes to a creating a functional society.

Let’s talk about abortion. What?! No, let’s talk about male promiscuity. What?!  Or, heavens to Betsy, let’s imagine a woman might feel inclined to stay childless. If a man would chose this path would you be as disparaging toward his choice? When a man chooses not to rise to his “social-sexual” obligations, are you as harsh on him as you are on her? Because what I see is, not at all.  He gets limitless porn in your world, I get legs crossed or, shame on me for ruining Western civilization.  I’m sure the fact that men had a growing predilection for young boys during that period had nothing to do with women’s growing dissatisfaction in their marriages.

You are in reaction. Because ‘he’ is browbeaten by the Left, you do always make apologies for his transgressions and side, always, with him. You never give the woman the benefit of the doubt you give the man. That’s reaction to Leftist bias, not a response to authentic imbalance or injustice. Not philosophy, right? Jumping on the easy old social programming bandwagon. Because of course, you’re going to need it when your daughter hits puberty in this dysfunctional world, and you are met with a serious contender.

Handy Hubby repeats, no honest enterprise ever got a union that was not deserved. The union provides protection against the unfair master as the power of promiscuity provides to the unfair sexual union. I bare the cost of our union, as a woman, more than you. If you want me to stay faithful, make my day.

How you love to leave out the co-creative dynamic. The system you are engendering is still, as in centuries past, the feminine in service to the masculine.  How’s that been working out for us so far?

I’m not saying the exaltation of the opposite as we see now pushed so savagely by the Left and the ‘New Age’ movement is the answer, not at all!

But I don’t see your deviation saving us at all from the dichotomous meme. Embrace Trump, cause women get paid better, or just cause he’s the opposite, or just cause that means we “win” and wow.  The master becomes more shallow and blinded than his student. It’s as simple as that. Well then otherwise, embrace Hillary, that’s your choice. So, I’m on the verge of vomit. The double-bind. Welcome to democracy.

Seriously, I don’t see how you’re helping that much, regression is so distasteful.

You’ve lost your objectivity, Stefan Molyneux, or I was terribly mistaken you ever had any.  If you’re serious about your mission, you’ll make some attempt to get independently-minded women on your side.  All those ‘Leave it to Beaver Moms’ you hope to find ready to fight for liberty, not your best option.  You are missing your market entirely.  They are too busy raising your perfect kids to have the time to fight the real battle and they certainly don’t have the power or left-over energy to get you to see reason through your nonsense.

Embrace those gender roles nonetheless, right into complete myopic social dysfunction, because that’s what Trump wants.  Bonding with narcissistic dysfunction will surely help your cause.

Oh good grief, am I being sarcastic and passive-aggressive?  Good God I hope so, that means I’ve learned from my masters.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Peace Corps Remembrance (part 1)

Those days remain for me, over 20 years later, as poignant as Proust’s madeleines.

I often get too mushy or teary just trying to relate the lessons learned and the bitter sweetness that nostalgia just is.  On the negative side of the spectrum, trauma bonding and Stockholm syndrome come to mind. On the positive, a culture that inhabited me, with all the muddy in-betweens that this sort of parallel dysfunction conjures.

When we choose to throw ourselves into chaos, as controlled as that chaos might promise or originally appear to be, we make a statement and commitment we can never really disown afterward.  I f-ing volunteered.  I signed my name.   I was informed in advance of the reality of the program., at least to the degree it was divulged.  Whatever pain was suffered in consequence, I knew very well it was going to be “tough”.  That was the damn advertisement after all.  In hindsight, was it a mistake?  Did I overstate my enthusiasm, did I overestimate my commitment?

My father always said challenge, even to the point of pain, builds character. Maybe this is true, but it makes me question then why those who subject themselves to the most pain aren’t necessarily so strong in character. In fact, there would seem, as often as not, to be an inverse relationship.  How does the Golden Rule play out when what the other wants, what he expects and has been trained for, is manipulation.  My dad talked a lot about character, integrity, family values. He’s been married three times, so apparently he has a good base of experience from which to draw.

Chaos is sometimes mistaken for passion.
Intensity is often mistaken for intimacy.

We are only human. There’s a reason the slogan at the time I pined for the Peace Corps was : “The Toughest Job You’ll Ever Love”.  I longed for it for three years before I made it happen.

Love?  Tough?  Got it!  Know it!  Sign me up.

I got one of the easiest assignments possible. I’ve written about that too many times to repeat it here now. Before I was sent just a few hours from Prague, I craved to be sent to rural West Africa, that was my dream. I was to be learning Wolof half the month in a village as I taught French at a university in Dakar. It almost happened. Then, I was threatened to be sent to Armenia, OMG! A clerical error, I hope?

I really hated it at times. Did then, still do, the bureaucracy, what’s not to hate?  The jumping through hoops, the perpetual state of subservience and distancing and stonewalling, well it was just a precursor of all that was to come.  Many events stand out, but what stood out most then and still is to be labeled a complainer from the outset.  I was a huge idealist then;  I wanted to give my skills and capacities to the service of my country and its ideals, as they’d been presented to me, and then and indeed now, the hierarchy meant nothing to me personally.  Unless, as it stands, I can hardly maneuver myself from underneath its obvious and choking oppression.

The message is like a master to a slave: When I ask your opinion, what you are allowed to tell me is only what I want to hear. Or, consequences.

I completed the seemingly endless evaluations seriously and honestly. While others checked “fine” and “no comment” I filled them out for real. It still brings me to tears to remember this truth. This might be nationalistic brainwashing, I accept that, but my devotion was real. It wasn’t for America per se, because already at that time it was all plastic, I didn’t stand for McWorld, or I certainly never meant to, that’s for sure.

I really thought I could make a difference, that others, even those above me who said they wanted my opinions, really did want them, and the message I was getting on the outside was that I could make a difference if I tried, if I “applied” myself.

But on the inside, it was an entirely different game.  Subservience is the currency.  And that’s when I was introduced to the world of politics.

I know now one refers to this as naiveté. The rule is go along with the program, and if it’s too difficult, find another way to cope with your reality, like pain killers or anti-depressants or meditation or a new guru, or whatever. And if you can’t handle that, well, get out. Get out of the game. Good heavens, it’s not Afghanistan, you’re a teacher, not a soldier.

It wasn’t that hard, in hindsight. But, it was a lesson for life. It was a precarious political situation in some ways, and witnessing this was invaluable to me. There was a lot of propaganda, and little trust, and no one, systems, or people, I can honestly say, ‘needed us’ in any real and material way.  We did not help. In hindsight now I know, we only expedited their transition from Soviet dominance to Globalist dominance.  Some honest and more astute friends confided to me at the time:  “We are only trading one big brother for another.”  Intelligent, shrewd and industrious folk, those Slavs.

The level of distrust was at such a level that at the time it seemed absurd to me, at 26. How very foreign it felt to show my passport at every border, to have people question me when I snap a photo. I was so judgmental, but how I feel for them now!  Now that mistrust and hostility plague all of America.  What is happening to me now seeing our political tyranny and police state is so close to what I felt there, it’s like living Kafka.  In the West we think of 1984 and Orwell and Huxley, but there it was already old news.  Those dudes exalted the nightmare Kafka’s world was already living.

On one occasion I was innocently taking a photo of a garden in front of a large family home which I found particularly lovely nearby a friend’s house not far from the center of Prague when an irate woman stormed out and yelled, “What are you photographing here? Are you ill?

This spring at my home on a dirt road there was an unusualrecreational vehicle driving past during the two-month paranoia of “Jade Helm” and the parallel feeling was overwhelming.  Something was off.  These drivers were foreigners. This vehicle was not local or recreational.  What was up with this?  Was it me?  Enter the world of psy-ops. More on that, much more, in future posts.  The goal of the psy-op being always to trade ‘your’ freedom for ‘our’ security.

In those days, in just Soviet-occupied Eastern Europe once I stated myself to be American, instead of German or Russian, I got a better welcome from strangers. “Racism” was practiced openly, that is, if you were discovered to be Western and therfore “rich” you had a gravely augmented price ratio to almost everything. To cheat you, even if you were with other Czechs, was commonplace and expected. There was actually an accepted and stated price difference for foreigners. That was incentive to learn the language enough to fool them. It didn’t take that much really, because few were able to learn the Slavic languages all that well. Even with an accent, if you were lucky, you might be mistaken for Slovenian, or from the Baltics, because after all, what rich Westerners would try to learn your language.

Whatever, I digress. I love nostalgia and I’m wonderfully good at it.  The truth: I was terribly lonely.  In many ways it was an extension of adolescence, and the hallmark of all dysfunctional relationships—as long as you serve us, we will support you. Serve us means don’t ask questions, no personal boundaries allowed, don’t make waves, even when invited, walk the egg shells, and support “us” (we the institution or the personal ego) even when we’re wrong.

I haven’t seen any evidence that’s changed, politically or personally, though my tolerance of institutional coercion, and by default I hope, personal coercion, has consistently diminished to the point at present of, no f’ing tolerance.